Letter to Erin 20150618

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh hi, Erin!  How are you doing, Sweetie?  I just got back from the first "taraweeh" prayer, the optional group prayer during Ramadan, which commences right after the night prayer.  Ramadan is very social for me, which can get uncomfortable for me.  I'm quite a loner, you know.  I'm trying to picture what it will be like when we are married inshaAllah, and we go to this prayer together.  We would most likely be with each other until the actual prayer, when men and women split ranks.  I have this picture in my head that unless you have your friends with you, you would be playing with your smartphone back there.  Please try not to do that.

It's almost time to get to sleep, if I want to wake up at 3 am or something to cook and eat.  I usually write right after dinner, after the sunset prayer.  So there's a change of habit, what is time anyway.  Actually, I rather enjoy Ramadan.  You take care of yourself, and get plenty of rest.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150617

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

So tomorrow is Ramadan.  That's Thursday.  Today is my Mom's birthday.  Of course it means something, she's my Mom!  Happy Birthday Mom!  I bought her a new headscarf.  I love you, Mom!  But tomorrow is when the fasting month begins.  What will you be doing?  While it's true that I cannot be married to a non-Muslim, if you were to conduct worship just to please me and/or to show off to people, then don't even bother.  What God cares about is your sincerity, and so do I.  But if you are sincere, then don't call it a diet.  Call it "fasting".  This is where you abstain from food, drink, and sexual activity from dawn to sunset.  Don't swear or pick your nose, either.  The day before and before dawn of the fast, voice in your heart, "I hereby fast tomorrow, this month of Ramadan of this year, for the sake of Allah, the Most High."  If you are on your period, then you are exempted from fasting, but you must make the day/days up later before the next Ramadan.

Ow, I hurt my back somehow.  Maybe I did my scrunchies, I mean crunches, wrong.  No, I think it was all the time I spent on the seat of my motorcycle.  For dinner, it was rice with tofu cooked in a sauce made of sweet bean paste, sugar, hot pepper puree, garlic, onion, ginger, chillis, sugar, and palm oil, with finely sliced steak sprinkled on top.  Very delicious, and very filling.  Alhamdulillah.  I wish you had joined me for dinner, because I'm stuffed right now.  Time to relax.  Erin I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150616

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin, dearest heart.  How are you feeling today, my beloved?  Did you buy yourself some nice suits for work?  If you did, I want to see you wear them.  I love a beautiful woman in a beautiful suit.  I want to see YOU wearing beautiful suits.  That would be such a turn on!

I'm still bumming out over my kitty, but otherwise it's just another everyday day for me here.  In the morning, I drove over to a government agriculture research and development institute to show them my mango plants, and the guy there confirmed that my mangoes were 100% harumanis.  I got lost trying to find the place: it was way out in the sticks and I almost wound up in the next state, putting around slowly on my motorcycle so as to not harm the baby mangoes in my basket.  But I got home in time for a nap before the mid day prayer, so I didn't fall into a coma during voice training.  It was too wet in the evening to do any grass cutting, so I just spent some time with my baby mangoes.

Dinner is steak and potatoes!  I threw some cubed potatoes, garlic, onions, hot peppers, and coriander seeds into a small wok then fried them up in super hot oil until the garlic and onions turned black.  I ate that with sliced steak.  Quite yummy, if I may say so.  Would you like some?  No kissy kissy!   Garlic breath!  Stainless steel absorbs garlic, so we'll have to suck on steel spoons before any kissy kissy.  Mwah!  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150615

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Are you mad at me again?  You probably have good reason, and I don't blame you.  I still can't afford to buy you a ring, and to build your house.  Please forgive me, and be patient with me.  I have no choice but to live for Allah.  It's because of this music, you see.  Whatever happens, please know that you are my girl, and I love you, and I need you.  I want to marry you.

---- has always been the runt of the family.  She was always the last to get to a nipple and needed help to get there, and going into heat gave her such a hammering each time.  But she managed to grow up into a beautiful little kitty, a little waif girl.  Yesterday evening, she was eating normally and had lots of energy.  Then this morning, Sunday at 5:30 am, she didn't want to eat her breakfast.  She was in heat all week so I didn't think too much of it.  Then at 8 am, I noticed she had trouble breathing.  I found it was serious: she had pneumonia.  To fall ill on a weekend around here is death for a cat, because the vet is closed.  And there was nothing I could do, but watch her die.  She drew her last breath at 10 am.  It happened so quickly, she was still so soft and beautiful when she died.  There was no fever, no stuffed nose, nothing but a swift pneumonia.  There was so much water in her lungs Erin, it was pouring out.  It were as if she had drowned.  Which is perplexing to me, because she spent her whole life indoors, and my house is warm and dry.  I buried her by a banana tree at your house inshaAllah.  When I went to pick her body up to put her down into her grave, she was lying in a puddle of water.  Poor little kitty, I loved her so much.  From Allah is our origin, and to Allah is our return.  I hate losing a cat.  It's one of the worst feelings on earth.  4 days before Ramadan. 

There are no coincidences, so you may be wondering what Allah means by this.  I think I know.

Letter to Erin 20150614

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you feeling today, my beloved?  I pray you are feeling healthy and happy, and having a great time.  Just be sure to maintain your prayers.  Nothing much going on today for me.  It rained a lot in the morning, so I wasn't able to go out as I had planned.  I wanted to buy more flour.  Lunch wasn't all that special.  I had to finish off those small won ton skins, so I just stuffed them with the rest of the fish balls, since my paste didn't work too well.  The rained stopped in the evening, so after the Asr prayer I was able to cut grass over at your house inshaAllah.  I went out after, to get gasoline and I bought fried noodles for dinner.  Yeah, I don't feel like cooking.  But also I won't be eating out much during Ramadan, which starts next Thursday.  Right now, I'm going to just relax.  My legs are tired.  Wish you were here with me.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150613

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

What, you're mad at me again?  Because I complained about doing a little house cleaning?  I'll admit that I loathe house cleaning, but I'll do some.  I like a clean house, but I hate house cleaning.  That's not hypocrisy- it's laziness.  You have no idea how many tasks I have on my plate, plus I need to relax, so I am able to work.  The day will come when I will have to focus on studio work, and I won't be able to do much of anything else.  Right now, I don't have the musical instruments and studio equipment, plus the means of duplication and printing.  But when Allah grants me thus inshaAllah, I'm going to be trapped inside the studio.

I'm having chicken wings tonight.  Wanna join me for dinner, Sweetheart?  Squid freezes up well, so I'll just save it for later.  Maybe fried calamari.  Right now it's time to make a batch of dough.  I like making my dough hard lately.  So it would be ready to use in 3 days.  I don't work in a restaurant anymore, so I don't have to feed any patrons.  Right now I'm watching "The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes"- the old one, from 1969 I think.  Snake Plissken looks so young and clean cut!  Wanna snuggle up to a movie?  I love you Erin, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150612

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Gag!  Seafood stinks.  Even when you buy it fresh and you smell it and there's no smell, when you open up the guts, it reeks.  It's because of all the things they eat, and ferments in the stomach.  Crabs and shellfish don't smell so bad.  Big fish is generally easier to deal with, because you can pull out the guts easier.  But squid?  There's no other way but to rip and shred out the guts, especially if you want to save the liver and the eggs.  And the ink sac- for something so small, it makes a huge, black mess.  Cuttlefish is stinkier than regular squid, but it has more meat.  The squid family is mostly made out of water, so it shrinks like mad.  Today cuttlefish was on sale, so I had to process that today.  I still have the scent on my fingers 3 hours later, after doing gardening, after driving around looking for cooking gas, after taking a shower.  the good thing is that the cats hate the smell of squid, and they totally leave me alone.  You wanna gut these cuttlefish?  Oh, I have to do it?  AND do the house cleaning?

I didn't want to go to the market this morning, but I had to waste some time before the stores opened so I could buy a new regulator.  SO I got the cuttlefish, some tofu, and some won tons.  So for dinner, it's going to be fried won tons.  The won ton skins are small though, so it's going to be a pain to shape them.  I think I'll blend the stuffing today.  The blend turned out really tasty, but the won tons were too small and tedious.  The best approach was to spread the paste on then fold it over, but frying it up created a lot of splatter.  Tasty, though.  Want some?

I must say it's already getting weird (er than usual), and it's even Ramadan yet.  Well, alhamdulillah.  You take sweet care of yourself, Sweetie.  I love you, and I need you.