Letter to Erin 20151012

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Of course I'm going to mother hen you, because you are MY girl, and I love and need you.  I'm going to do whatever I can to look after you, and since I don't have money then I will use other means to help protect you.  What I seem to have are spiritual means: if Allah be pleased with me and my work, then Allah will help me protect you and enhance your career.  And if you care about that, then you wouldn't allow yourself to be consumed by evil, and the evil of the entertainment industry.  Of course you can have fun.  What I don't want is for you to be psychologically addicted to having fun all the time, which in turn converts to being chemically addicted to having fun all the time.  Be grateful to Allah, pray, and be faithful, because with Allah as my Witness, my promise to you is true.

Right now I'm watching the biography of P. Ramlee, one of the greatest entertainers of Malaysia.  He had a successful career with both financial and critical achievements while he was alive, but he died in poverty, then received a title posthumously.  I don't think I deserve a title because I'm antisocial, and I certainly don't want one posthumously.  It be better that they worship and fear Allah, or give the title to my father because he would love that.  Nowadays the locals get very touchy if his work is criticized or becomes unavailable.  I think the error P. Ramlee made was mismanagement of his career: he was careless with his money, and too trusting of his bosses.  But what to do?  People are totally used to only one way of success in the entertainment industry.  I have a different approach, and inshaAllah it will succeed: let the people glorify and worship Allah.  My reward is with Allah.  My greatest burden artistically and spiritually is the emotions of the dead.  The most beautiful voices belonged to women who were suicidal and oppressed.  My insanity is to be consumed by that, may Allah protect and help me.

I'm going to eat my dinner now, you're welcome to join me.  It's curried potatoes, made with the fish curry from the other day.  I figured out that my curry needed more curry powder and salt, and now it tastes OK.  Want some?