Letter to Julia 20121210

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Wha.... where's my sweetie?  You're not in the latest Victoria's Secret fashion show?  Well, that's actually a good thing, because it shows the world that you are modest.  I'm glad that you realize that you are a role model for millions of young Muslim girls, and you are my princess.  I wish you had told me that you weren't going to be in the show, so there would have been less drama. Maybe you did tell me in not so many words, and I'm just dense.  I guess it doesn't really matter.  May Allah reward you.

As for Victoria's Secret, I'm afraid I cannot endorse your show or your product if my sweetie Julia isn't involved.  Thus endeth the Victoria's Secret fashion show saga on Shadowplay TV, except for the shows that feature my sweetie Julia on regular programming when picked by the randomizer.  I strongly suggest you guys quit while you're ahead, and try to get back to a basic showcase of your product in your fashion shows (like in 1998 and before) with minimal loss, or axe the fashion show altogether and just rely on commercials.  It is impossible for you guys to get bigger and better without limit, because you are human beings and you sell underwear.  Oh God, I hope they don't try to cast wrinkley old women in mummified makeup to walk the catwalk in skimpy lingerie just because these women have power and influence, and try to call it sexy.  Eau de formaldehyde!  But I guess that could be a bigger and better approach to the show, from a certain point of view.