Letter to Julia 20141105

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

So all of a sudden, you both are Queen of the Internet.  How did that happen?  From watching your videos, I have come to the conclusion that you both are very, very naughty.  You are as naughty as a gang of kittens.  I love you all the more, but I have a small request: please don't pee on my floor?

But seriously Julia, watching you gives me heart disease.  I must really, really love you.  And you too, Erin.  Perhaps I'm just too sensitive when it comes to you.  You both must take that leap of faith, and use this medium to interact with me.  Just forget the rest of the world, be oblivious, ignore comments and statistics, and interact with me.  You don't have to say much of anything.  All you have to do is be beautiful, and you are beautiful.  You are very beautiful, you are the most beautiful girls in the world, because you are MY girls.  MINE, MINE.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.  Shadowplay TV is the best and most watched TV station in the world, mashaAllah.  Make sure you charge steep prices for endorsements.  This is a gold mine, after all it's a global market.  No, I don't want to consume your hard earned money.

Here, let me do my part.  I'll do the same Q & A by Free People:

Q:  If you could go on a date with anyone, who would it be?
A:  I don't date.  I make a commitment and marry, and I already know who I want to marry.

Q:  Your most prized possession?
A:  My copy of the Qur'an which I bought in 1999 at a Middle Eastern restaurant/grocery store.  I asked the clerk to wrap it up for me because my hands were dirty, and he gave me a dirty look.  Actually, it belongs to God, so it's not MY possession.

Q:  Do you like cats or dogs?
A:  Hands down cats, but I don't mind dogs, especially the ones that are well loved and well taken care of.  By the way, Casper used to be my drummer's name, but now I do my own drumming.  That's reminds me, I didn't post this video properly a few years ago.

Q:  What's one word that describes you?  Why?
A:  Unknown.  I don't know.

P.S. Please be good girls.  Sorry to make you even more famous.