In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hello there, my dearest wives. How are you feeling today? Please know and feel secure that I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you. Would you like to watch TV? Right now, I'm watching "Kurt Cobain: the last 48 hours". I would never keep diaries like he did. I hate that shit. Who really gives a shit about my feelings and my problems anyway, besides Allah? Sorry for swearing. I don't think I'm special. I don't want people to know about me. I'm like Buddy Rivell in the movie "3 O'Clock High" when he said, "I don't like it when people know about me. I don't like it when anybody knows about me" These letters to you are the closest thing the humans are going to get for an autobiography. They should have caught me when I was young. Let them worship and fear Allah instead.
But really, I'm a big fan of Kitten TV! Bob Cat was the first to open his eyes! Another first for Bobby-Wobby! He took a good look at me, and yawned. Hepzibah was the next to open her eyes. She did so gradually, about the size of a pinhole, took a good glance at me, and started crying. So I immediately gave her back to her Mommy. Bat Cat has yet to open his eyes. The baby cats don't really make much of a mess. I guess they're too young to lick their own butts, plus they only drink milk, so they have Mommy to lick their butts for them. Humans don't do that. We're going to have to use diapers, and toilet paper. And lots of water.
