Letter to Erin 20151028

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Erin, I saw your basketball thingy about the Truth or Dare Horse.  I'll have to remind you that the sexiest part of you is your sweetness.  You probably don't mean to either, which is extra sweet.  But it does make some people angry, regardless of their gender.  Not me, I like that part of you very much.  So be careful, OK?  Do not underestimate the power of a beautiful woman.  Having people suffer feels worse than loneliness.  If you're a good person, that is.

Now don't get me wrong, Sweetie.  I love you and I need you.  Sure, you can only be yourself.  That's what makes you so beautiful.  I want you to watch this old movie whenever you have time and relaxing and such.  I used to be a huge fan of Louise Brooks.  I even had my hair cut like hers!  The look didn't work out for me because I have a lumpy back of my head, not to mention I'm built like a chimpanzee.  Brooksie was self destructive, and not just in a chemical way either.  I think most people would agree that she was too intelligent combined with too stubborn.

I went to the butcher this morning.  Early this morning.  I managed to score some tenderloin.  You can't find tenderloin at an American grocery store!  I like tenderloin alhamdulillah, but it's a bit too lean.  My parents prefer the brisket, but I think it's too difficult to pan fry.  There's a mystery cut that I like better, but I don't know exactly where it is.  I suspect it's somewhere around the flank.  Anyway, I didn't have steak today.  I portioned the beef into steaks, but I had fried calamari for dinner.  These kittens are so spoiled!  They don't like raw squid, but they are all over my fried calamari!  And if I don't give them a snack, they start crying.  Wah!  Wah!  Shut up!  Go and eat cat food!  Oh, not you Erin.  You can join me for food anytime.