Letter to Erin 20150430

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Now Floofy has gone AWOL.  I last saw her yesterday at breakfast time.  The night before, she ate a lot of food.  But at breakfast, she just crouched and watched the other cats eat.  I gave her her portion, but she didn't eat it.  She just walked away, and I haven't seen her since.  She didn't look injured or sick or anything like that.  I'm thinking that she doesn't want to be Bob Cat's bitch.  Remember I told you that recently Bob Cat claimed all cat food in the territory as his.  And now he's in heat- if you can call it that.  Virile males don't go in heat, they're supposed to be always horny.  Wah!  I'm an old man!  I need drugs!

Anyway, Bob Cat considers all cats in his area as his bitches.  Remember I told you that Bobby was missing fur between his shoulders, now I realize that some other cat tried to make him a "bitch".  Now he's become big and strong, he doesn't have to tolerate that: he can just smash them.  Hulk Smash!  Bobby Wobby Smash!  He has such a tame disposition with me.  He has never used his claws on me nor bitten me, and he takes his doctoring without resistance.  Even when he yowls like male cats do when they call out for a mate, it's not overbearing but very relaxed.  But he's still big and strong, much bigger and stronger than Floofy, so I guess Floofy doesn't want to deal with him.  If this is true, then if she comes back then she'll come back pregnant because I won't get a chance to take her to the vet for her contraceptive.  But she is his mother, after all.  And I've never seen him harass her.  Why didn't that cat just stay indoors?  Give a cat free will, and she runs away.  Oh, it's my fault?  For giving the cat free will?

For dinner it's McDonald's.  My Mom wanted McDonald's for dinner, and I guess I'm having McDonald's too.  I got 3 double cheeseburgers: one for me, one for you I mean me, and one for me.  Brings back memories of when I was homeless and McDonald's double cheeseburgers were on the dollar menu.  But Allah saved my life.  Now I'm not homeless and McDonald's double cheeseburgers cost RM5 each.  Alhamdulillah.  Tastes the same.

How's your relationship with Victoria's Secret, by the way?  You grew up with those guys, didn't you?  I don't see your giving them your endorsement any more.  You might as well, because I can only endorse my wife in such matters.  Erin I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20150430

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

88.  Of the cry, "O my Lord!  Truly these are a people who will not believe!"

89.  But turn away from then and say, "Peace!"  But soon shall they know!

The Gold Adornments 43:88-89
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Peace!