Letter to Erin 20150524

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Well it can't be helped, I suppose.  If I were 30
years old, I would have urges enough to complain,
but seeing that I'm an old man and have used up
most of my libido, I'm actually quite capable of
being patient and just waiting until Judgement
Day, and just doing whatever it is I do and have
been doing by my lonesome all this while, in the
meantime.  I look towards perhaps God would be
happy with me and allow me into heaven, then I
will ask to be pretty like Megan Fox (before the
plastic surgery) with a nice set of boobs and a
big dick, with a sexual appetite to match.  Hey
Erin, let's play.  But we've got to get to heaven first.

I went back to work on the yard.  That big mango
tree in my front yard needed trimming, so in the
morning I got up a ladder and chopped down the
low branches with my sickle machete.  It was
quite a workout because the limbs were thick and
heavy, and I was at a strange angle most of the
time.  Some of the limbs were too tall or tangled
up with the power lines, so I had to leave those
alone.  The weather was surreal.  It was as if
God was saying, "Maybe it'll rain, maybe it
won't."  But at least it was cool and pleasant. 
It rained heavily last night, but there were few
mosquitoes.  I figure that it is by doing
physical labor all day long is what wore me out. 
People may not think so, but singing is also a
form of physical labor.  Especially if one has to
jump around and do synchronized aerobic exercise
at the same time.  I don't know how others do it,
but I refuse to do it.  It affects my singing.

I may not have the same sexual appetite that I
had 20 years ago, but I was hungry.  I had
marinara sauce, I had home made halal beef
sausage, I had cheese, and I had dough.  Pizza! 
It's been a while since I had pizza, since a
calzone is quicker to make.  I made 2 sausage and
basil pizzas for dinner.  One for me, one for
you.  Oh I'm sorry, I ate yours since you weren't
here for dinner.  It's so romantic that I make 2
portions of everything when I cook, isn't it?  Or it could be that I'm hungry.  Whatever it is,
Erin I love you.  And I need you.  Please forgive me for my faults.