Letter to Erin 20151216

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

In the light of the current attitude towards Muslims, of course there would be people pressuring you to be treacherous to me.  This is not clairvoyance, it is common sense.  This is compounded by that you have become successful, and are enjoying the comforts that come with the success and wealth that your connection to Islam has helped you nurture, by the Will of Allah.  Certainly they would say that you don't need me, and perhaps you don't.  I can't force you to marry me.  But again I remind you that the goal of our marriage is to stay put here, in this kampung in Malaysia, and raise a family, and you are my Muslim wife.  Who knows what happiness is?  All I know is my mission, to please Allah with music.

On the contrary, my situation hasn't changed since I proposed to you a little over 2 years ago.  Now that I think about it, my situation hasn't changed since 1989.  Allah granted me more piety alhamdulillah, but my situation hasn't changed.  Always on the edge.  Who knows what happiness is?  I am an old musician.  I have discovered that I am unable fall in love anymore.  Love has to be calculated and negotiated.  Sure I like pretty blondes, but I was very taken by your sincerity.  I believe it is genuine.  When the time comes inshaAllah, that sincerity will be tested with a ring.  But for now, for what it's worth, I love you and I need you.