Letter to Julia 20120105

Stability is for those who have it. Or more accurately, stability is for those who are granted stability by Allah. This is not a satisfactory answer for those of doubtful faith, but doubt is instability, right? This world is unstable. There's always something wrong somewhere with somebody, so as far as this life is concerned, stability is at best a dynamic equilibrium. But even that seems limited to very few communities. Why are things so uncertain? Because people refuse to give up corruption, interest, and ridiculous profit margins. So bubbles become inevitable, and if bubbles are inevitable, then the shortage of natural resources is also inevitable. And that means that war is also inevitable. But war has always been inevitable sometime somewhere. That makes Judgement Day also inevitable. How does that ring for those of doubtful faith? However, God has God's Own plan and mystique for Judgement Day. Far beyond the means and perceptions of sniveling humans.

It seems that I cannot escape situations of rapid growth. I have been actively immersed in businesses of rapid growth, and I have observed the crash and burn of those businesses when they are unable to maintain their expansion, be it the loss of liquidity, or spiralling debt. Expansion seems to be only of rapid growth, it almost seems like a law. However, I know it isn't so. One could always refuse deals and opportunities, and limit one's business to what one has the strength and means to maintain. This depends on whenever a person wants to live as a billionaire as quickly as possible, or tolerate the life of an average person or a pauper for a while. I am certain that to succumb to the destruction of rapid growth is the result of greed, the inability to resist the mass of offers and conjectures that are crammed within a short period of time. Allah is the One who enlarges or restricts the provision of whomsoever God wills. Gradual growth is neither unbearable nor impossible. The oldest and mightiest trees grew slowly. By the Will of Allah.

I've become so slow, Julia. I walk slowly, I work slowly, and I drive slowly. I'm also rather lazy. I acquired my laziness from working at the pizza joint: it never really mattered how hard or quickly I worked, it was never enough. But an ant like me enjoys working, so I work slowly. I scrubbed the walls of my bathroom today. Even though I don't use hot water, the climate is so hot and humid at times that mold builds up on the walls. It was a sloppy job, as I was in a rush to perform the sunset prayers, and rice was cooking in the pot. This house needs much effort to be ready for you, and it's not just a matter of money either. My energy seems spread out, I'm doing too many things at this time, plus I'm slow and lazy. But I believe that Allah will make everything snap together nicely for us eventually, insyaAllah. And we can have our beautiful life and marriage together. My most cherished Julia.