Letter to Julia 20131210

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Love and greetings my beautiful ladies, my beloved Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  I had to vacuum clean my kitchen and living room yesterday, and it's been over a month since I last did that.  I'm so lazy!  But after all, I'm still alone and without you.  I wish we could be together during these intense times, but as you know, I cannot have you marry into my poverty, for your well-being is of highest priority to me, by the Will of Allah.  I would have to exert whatever influence I have from a distance to help you, confront some nasty bitches for example.  But I think it should be easier for you (as opposed to me) to capitalize on whatever fame Allah has given me, while I'm the one who takes the slide.  Just tell them, "I'm his wife, inshaAllah".  Being a woman has the general advantage that you don't have to face off enemies on a regular and physical basis: you would have a man do that for you.  Kill one snake, and there are five more that get away.  Big, fat ones too.  So I attract the snakes to me, away from you inshaAllah.  But Allah is the Best to Protect.

But Allah does not heap any burden on a soul more than it can bear.  So if you so happen to capitalize on whatever fame Allah has given me, then make sure you have your own route ready back to your comfort zone.  Like when Fluffy climbed onto my roof via the cherry tree in front of my bedroom window, she stays on the roof pleading with me to bring her down.  Get down the same way you got up, Fluffy!  I'm too heavy to climb up that cherry tree!

Anyway, please pray and make sure you thank Allah for whatever advantage that God has given you.  Thank you for your love, my precious wives.  Ya Allah, thank you for Julia and Erin.