Letter to Julia 20131017

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my darling Julia.  Are you feeling well today, my dearest heart?  You are my princess, and I love you so much.  I'm a little off-sync today, I overslept for my afternoon nap, and I forgot how to cook.  Small and silly problems.  Senile, perhaps.  I feel a little bit embarrassed, but my gut feels worse than my ego, because I had to finish that slop that I made so it wouldn't go to waste.  Do you want to do the cooking today?  I'll be your sous chef.  I'll peel the onions and potatoes.  I'll even eat a salad today.  Urgh.  I just wanna sit on the couch and snuggle with you.  You look delicious.  How about some fresh fruit?  I would like some apples and Chinese pears.  Or perhaps some canned lychees, or lychee flavored nata de coco, swimming in ice.  Come here, sweetie.  Let me brush your hair.  I love beautiful, blond hair.  I love you, Julia.

I haven't forgotten you Erin, my dearest heart.  I can never forget you, or Julia.  You know Erin, there is no such thing as "the perfect feeling" here in this life.  Sometimes Allah allows me a glimpse of pure happiness, but otherwise "the perfect feeling" is a reward of the hereafter, when God rewards the righteous, and wipes out any lurking sense of injury in their hearts.  In this life, the best feeling is patience, and the control of emotions.  It never feels good to let your anger or depression spiral out of control, there is no satisfaction there, nor is there any neutralizing drug.  "I can't help it, it's just the way I feel," is the worst excuse in the world.  Julia has a more professional temperament than you and me, but patience is the best feeling we can get, until the next glimpse of happiness.  The good news is that you can pour your love out to God, and in the next life God will reward your love tenfold.  And for right now, you can pour your love out to me, and I will return it to you, and do my best to protect you and Julia, and to give you a good married life.  InshaAllah.  I'm not perfect like God, but I promise you that I will try my best.  Come to my arms Erin my love, and let me love you.