Erin, what are you doing carrying that guy on your back? And wearing high heels! If you were to trip, you would have broken your ankle. Please don't hurt yourself. Please please please I love you I love you, you are so beautiful. I would be mortified if you had hurt yourself. Please don't hurt yourself. Please take sweet loving care of yourself, and avoid alcohol and drugs. I love you, and I need you.
I didn't like hearing that you have a perpetual habit of nip slipping. I guess it's the part of me that wants you all to myself. I'm getting a picture in my head of nip slips in rapid succession spraying sand and seawater like machine gun fire and putting peoples eyes out. AAAAAAARGHHH!!!! Did you say that they have a mind of their own? Does that mean that I can paste some form of artificial intelligence on them and control them with an iPad?
You raised a good point when you said that you (or women) are monogamous. Perhaps you were referring to employment? I guess that means that men are not. Well, I can assure you that I don't slut around. All I do is stay home or go out to shop or blog. I have no privacy so I wouldn't get away with that, and at the very least my parents can vouch for me. So women are monogamous? Have you ever seen the Jerry Springer show?
You seem very comfortable with Dan Patrick's gang. At first they were super nice to you, now it seems they don't know how to behave. When a man is nice to a woman, it means he wants to pork her. And if not, he still wants to pork her. I guess it's the nature of virility, or compensation for the lack thereof. I'm not trying to justify the nature of men. I don't even enjoy their company, that's probably why I don't enjoy sports. I would rather hang out with you.
