Letter to Julia 20111112

Hello again, my beloved Julia. Today, I will give you a technique or recipe for making salads. Yecchh! I hate salads, but I suppose for you models it becomes a sort of staple food. I've made a million salads in my life, because I worked at the pizza joint. Gag! I hate salads. I hate making them, I hate eating them, and I hate people who eat salads, but in your case I will make an exception, and love you instead. Oh, I'm just joking about hating people who eat salads! No, but I really hate salads.

Anyway, lets start with a chunk of boneless chicken breast. First, you heat up a frying pan with medium heat. Rub the breast with honey, the chicken breast that is. Sprinkle some course black pepper onto the meat according to preference. No need for salt! Do not use any oil! When the pan is hot, fry up the meat until it's almost black, but don't burn it! Turn it over, then place a pat of butter on top, so it melts over the meat. Then cook the other side until it's almost black, but not burned. Immediately remove the meat to a cutting board. Note that center of the chicken breast should still be raw, especially if you have a big chunk of meat. Slice the meat lengthwise, exposing the raw area. Then put the chicken breast back on the pan with the raw side down, and cook it until the raw part turns white. Turn off the heat, and remove the meat from the pan onto a plate, and let it cool at room temperature.

Let's use a head of Iceberg lettuce, and a head of Romaine lettuce. Wash the lettuce. Make sure the lettuce is fresh, with snap, and no brown gooey areas! Remove the brown parts if any, and cut of the stem of the lettuce, about 2 inches for the Romaine and 1 inch for the Iceberg. Tear the lettuce with your fingers into strips of about 1 by 1 1/2 inch each, using only the leafy areas, and discarding the spine of each leaf. You may prefer to use only the heart of the Romaine, but I find that the outer leaves have good flavor too, if they are healthy. Yuck! I hate salads! Of course you can use any type of lettuce/greens, provided it is fresh and healthy, and you can use the same guidelines as the Iceberg and the Romaine. Spinach bruises easily, so be gentle! Mix up the strips of lettuce with your hands into an even mix.

OK! Place the lettuce mix into a serving bowl, then you can add fresh peppers, onions, olives, or whatever. Don't mix it into the salad mix, just arrange enough of it on top. I prefer a crescent cut for the peppers (no, don't eat the seeds and stems) and onions, where you cut the vegetable in half lengthwise, or quarters, then you slice the half from one end to the other into crescent shapes, following the arc of the half-circle. Slice up the chicken breast into strips, and arrange it onto the salad. If you had followed my instructions correctly, juices should have seeped out of the meat once it cooled down. Pour the juices onto the meat on the salad. Salad dressing? Just use your favorite salad dressing. I prefer blue cheese dressing, because it goes well with chicken wings, which taste way better than any salad. Amplify the flavor of blue cheese dressing with chunks of real blue cheese from a wedge. You know, the stuff you would nibble as a snack. Ranch? Italian? Honey mustard? 1000 island? I suppose I have some recipes, but that's another love letter. Basically, every salad dressing is just a form of flavored, liquified grease which you pour on your salad. Bleah! I hate salads! But I love YOU!