Letter to Erin 20160607

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Somewhere along the way in your life journey, you lost your modesty.  It's as if you never set foot in Skokie.  One day, you were suddenly a sexy lingerie star in NYC, and there you were.  This nudity of yours is your baggage, part of the job, and if you don't do your job you will lose your home.  Are you sure about that?  Are you under contract to post sexy photos of yourself consistently?  Aren't there any of your many fans who think you are beautiful even when you're grumpy?  With your clothes on?

I didn't tell you to put on a headscarf.  I didn't tell you to pray like a Muslim 5 times a day.  It was the beginning of Ramadan, and I tried to teach you "Al-Fatihah."  Your response was to post a photo of yourself cuddling up to some guy, and to bare your breasts in the next post.  What that communicated to me was, "Hurry up and give me a ring and a house old man, or I'll sleep with this guy."  This also made clear that you would rather be a Jew than a Muslim, which means that you reject marriage to me, because I can't be married to a non-Muslim.

Yes, I am an old man.  I am working towards building a house for my wife, but Allah has not granted me that yet.  But I can't assume that Allah will never grant me so.  It is a valid point you make, so I'll just have to build the house first and have a ring for a dowry instead of a song.  It's only music.  I warned you that this marriage is important to many economies, and to many people.  Yes I know you have legions of fans that praise you for whatever you choose to do, but are you sure that the recent spike in violent crimes had nothing to do with you?  Again, don't underestimate the power of a beautiful woman.  And never underestimate God.  Do you remember that astrological reading you posted a while ago about your birthday?  I want you to go to that page and cross out the word "harmless".

Oh dear, I've been scolding you and I don't want to do that.  You are an adult.  You make you own choices, and I must respect that.  I still want to marry you, Erin.  Have a great day.  I'll see you later.  Talk to me if you want me to talk to you.