Friday, October 3, 2014

Letter to Julia 20141003


In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Julia, please allow me to say Happy Anniversary to Erin.

Happy 1st Anniversary, Erin darling.  Yeah, it's been a year since I proposed to you.  I pray that it's been a wonderful year for you, and I absolutely intend to keep my commitment to you.  I am your husband inshaAllah, and you are not alone.  You are not just you anymore, you are me as well.  And you are loved.

Please understand and accept that the goal of our marriage is to slow down, settle down, and raise a family.  No more travel.  Yeah, I saw that video where you said you "will go where you can use your body".  I'll help you use your body.  Ahem.  How about a fruit plantation?  Or jumbo shrimp aquaculture?  You can do the labor, I will eat jumbo shrimp.  Or house cleaning?

I'm just kidding, you naughty thing you.  You're such a cutie, Erin!  Of course I'll help with the house cleaning, and we'll get a maid inshaAllah.  You can always have your friends visit.  Just remember that this is a Muslim family and area, and we will live in the Public Eye Mrs. Global, so please try not to start any global conflicts.  Of course we can have vacations, perhaps once every 2 years during off-peak seasons, as I'm building a tourist attraction here.  I'll go where you go, so please plan the vacations meticulously, so you don't get us all assassinated OK?  Julia gets the first vacation, because she is the Boss Wife.  So get all your travel kicks now, before you marry.  I anticipate you will at least have a few more years before Last Call.  You're still young, so you can enjoy travel.  I'm an old man.  I've already done a lot of traveling.  My feet hurt.

I pray that Allah will grant you much happiness and business success out of my commitment of marriage to you.  Please give thanks to Allah, and maintain your prayers.  You are so very beautiful Erin, and I look forward to seeing you at the next VS fashion show.  I love you, and I need you.

Julia, I love you, and I need you.  I will be fasting on Saturday October 4 inshaAllah, and I strongly recommend that you both fast too.  State in your heart the intention to fast for the sake of Allah the day before.