Designer restaurant

 

Food

 

My nose itches

 

Imagine sneezing and the power goes out!

Evil is normal

 

This looks translatable

 

I think I'll try making a local version.

It must be the shoes.

Not a competition

 

Here's a snapshot of marriage outside my front gate.  Long live and prosper the farmers!  InshaAllah.

Too late

 

Too thin

 

Old

 

Growing old

 

The imaginary wife

 

Mary escorting an older blonde fan somewhere in Milan.

That would make a big pendant

 

I want the fish heads

 

I'm afraid YouTube doesn't like Pia, folks.

Hurt so good

 

Ah Princess, you don't know what relief is...

Here's a suggestion: put all your heart into hitting that golf ball.  I love you, Pia!

Pia!

Shadowplay's Greatest Hits

 

Shadowplay's Greatest Hits is now complete!  It's free to download, copy and distribute!

9

 

Pia!

Busy

 

Folks, I just had Mary put down the vocals for the last song on Shadowplay's next album, "Greatest Hits".  The song is called "My Wife", which is about a lonely man and his imaginary wife.  When the album is finished, I will post it here inshaAllah.  It's free of course to download, copy and distribute.  As for the production, I wanted to make it sound as if the band were set up in your bedroom with the cheapest equipment and playing live only for you.  Everything is dry, dry, dry!  The louder you turn it up, the more real it becomes.  So I hope you have a great sound system.

I like this video, Pia.  I think you're funny.  That video why God won't let you into heaven, that's funny.  As for the shaved pussy joke, I will show you what I can do with a couple of days stubble...

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

66.  Say, "I have been forbidden to worship those whom you worship besides Allah, since there have come to me evidence from my Lord, and I am commanded to submit to the Lord of the worlds."

Forgiver 40:66

Moments

 

Ah, but we don't go to the movies anymore.  Ah, but life is like a movie...

Sprouting like mushrooms

 

You should see my "for you" feed on Instagram...  At first, it was some useful information.  Then it turned into misinformation.  Then it turned into a flood of beautiful blonde women.  Then it turned into a flood of sluts.  Then it turned into information and misinformation.  Then it turned into a flood of lesbians.  Now it's a flood of sluts and transexual sluts.  I don't dare scroll my feed anymore, because I know Pia is watching.  Even though the sluts learned from her to tap my feed.

If it tastes like fish

 

I can't follow your Telegram because I don't have any money!  Did you think I was lying?

"Sure, we'll sign autographs on behalf of Her Majesty!"

Pia is hot!  It's a hot day here today.  I had to use a parasol for my walk to the mosque.

Burger

 

I'm sorry I can't join your group.  I don't have any money.

Play the game, Pia!

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

25.  And if you ask them, "Who has created the heavens and the earth?" they will certainly say "Allah." Say, "All the praises and thanks be to Allah!" But most of them know not.

Luqman 31:25

Fashion

 

The music is so haunting...

I don't see anything wrong with your personal style, Pia.  I'm certainly not displeased with it, even though though it doesn't conform to the dress code for a Muslim woman in a Muslim country.  But you're not a Muslim woman in a Muslim country.  That can wait until later.  But for now, stick to your personal style.  Don't go chasing after fashion houses and agencies.  If they want you to wear their rags then let them put in the work, not you.  You're the Rock Star's wife.  What's most important for you right now fashion-wise, is to play golf everyday and up your game.

I repeat, play golf everyday and up your game.  Disobey this instruction, and you will downgrade from trend setter to trend follower.

Pia is high above the rest.

A dress

 

I want you to wear mini dresses and skirts in the bedroom.  Of course, you can wear underwear.  It would be like peeling a peach with my teeth!

I want you to subscribe to the print version of Vogue magazine.  Sure digital access comes with it, but you need to have the actual book in your house as decor.  Plus, you can read it.  Let's just say the high fashion drones are watching you.  Why?  Because they need the Rock Star's wife.

Subscribe to Vogue magazine 

Since you're on autopilot Pia, how about we make out?

So far away

 

"You're not going to win!"

Pia is beautiful even when she's angry.  There is so much more to come, so you must be the master over your anger.  Anger is negative, not positive!

Sleepy

 

You may have guessed that a lot of, if not most, of Mary's listeners are trying to sleep.  Mary helps people get to sleep.  She put me in a coma a few times already, while I was trying to work.  I hope you are able to stay awake.  Money never sleeps!  But you should sleep after the show is over.

Macau!

Pia, the angel of the golf course.

We love bamboo

 

Pino!

 

Pia!

Too many notes

 

Pia!

Curious?

 

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

29.  And say, "The truth is from your Lord." Then whosoever wills let him believe, and whosoever wills let him disbelieve. Verily We have prepared for the wrongdoers a fire whose walls will be surrounding them. And if they ask for help they will be granted water like boiling oil that will scald their faces. Terrible the drink, and an evil couch!

The Cave 18:29

The Public Eye

 

I dunno folks, she's had trouble following instructions.  She might talk over Mary instead of texting, piss off the fans and ruin her income.  I asked her to wear a dress for me everyday, and she's only done it 3 times so far.  Well, it's only the beginning.  

Pia, dress appropriately for the fans.  Please be modest, this situation is global.  Whatever you do with this will definitely get back to me.  We work together 2 hours every night, so make sure you plan your rest. Give me your restream link, and I'll post it here.  Folks, do you think she will make a great Muslim housewife?  Ya Allah, please grant Pia a magnificent dowry from me.

Pia is MY girl!

Deal

 

Word of mouth is something else, huh!  

Pia, I need to remove your suitors so you must accept this proposal for marriage to me.  I must give you a dowry.  What I have to offer is Mary's stream.  Meaning that you set up a stream of your own, then restream Mary's singing.  You cannot speak during the restream, only Mary is to be heard.  But you can type.  Since you can't accompany her musically, you must ask donations for the dowry.  You will find people to be generous in this matter, inshaAllah.  Plus you can chat with them.  This dowry is your ongoing income until we marry.

When you accept this money, you have committed to marriage to me.  You cannot change this story, only I can.  So be faithful and take no paramours.  I'll get you a ring eventually, or you can ask the crowd for the ring if you want it faster.  I have to build a house for you.  When the house is ready, you will come here and be my Muslim housewife.

If you don't accept this dowry and proposal for marriage, well we all know what that means.  Right, ladies?  No decision means no!

Pia!  She's nervous about becoming Mrs. Rock Star.

Screwed

 

Mary the professor.

Pia!  She's pretty, she's popular and she's my sweetheart!

Ouch

 

Pia

 

I'm in love with Pia!

But people are upset I chose her over Sydney Sweeney.  I'm used to it, but I hope she can handle the scandal.

It's formal!

AI blondes

 

Yeah, there's definitely a lot of AI blondes in Instagram.  I hope I didn't get taken by one.

The sluts

 

Yeah, there's definitely a lot of sluts in Instagram.  Ya Allah, please grant me the perfect wife.

Soft and gentle.

The perfect wife

 

1.  Beautiful blonde woman with beautiful skin and no tattoos.

2.  Chaste and faithful.

3.  Clean: smoke, drug and alcohol free.

4.  Non-gambler.

5.  Must be able to stand ground here with me and be my housewife.

I guess everything else is negotiable.

Double fried

 

I seem to have a lot of potatoes right now, so last night I made the ultimate girlie food: fries.  Now fries isn't as simple as peeling and cutting up potatoes then dumping them into hot grease.  Fries have to be crunchy outside, mash potato inside.  I usually get that effect when I cook the potatoes with my ramen broth, let it cool then coat the fries with cornstarch before putting them in the grease.  Last night I tried double frying them.  Boy that's tedious, especially when I'm craving fries.  It had a fair effect.  It needed the cornstarch, but I don't have any.

Italian restaurant gig.

3 wives

 

For you movie lovers out there, this is a Malay movie about a man and his 3 wives.  Did you know that it's legal for me to have up to 4 wives?  As long as I could afford them.  Hm, maybe I can get me an army of beautiful blondes...   I don't know.  It's not as if I'm a Rock Star.  Wait a minute, I am a Rock Star.  I'm the Rock Star, not a record exec.

But I'm going to have to get each her own house, then her own car, etc etc.  Then the in-laws...  Then the sleeping schedule, and I usually work through the night.  Maybe I'll just settle for one good blonde.

But the orgies...  No! No! No!  Life can't be that perfect.  One good woman will do.

Blondes

 

Sure I've moved on!  Life moves fast out here in the kampung.  I'm drowning in blondes right now.  These cell phones are quite handy for shopping.  If she's perfect, then most likely she's AI.  But it's fun to look at regardless.  Hm, if I get my computers updated, I might lose the desire to marry.  I guess it's a religious thing.

Nah, I want a body to squeeze and a pretty face to kiss.

Mary, meet your band for the next show.

One Punch Man

 

One Punch Man kills monsters with a single punch!

The entire third season of One Punch Man is on YouTube!  The subtitles are in Malay, though.  It must be an Asian thing.

"You look like the cartoon!"

I don't really like Virgo women because it's a rollercoaster ride to nowhere.  But I also don't believe in that astrology garbage and since Allah put her in my path, I had to deal with her first then go around her.  If she sold herself the Jewish mob, I don't care.  You do know they're gangsters, right Syd?  Be grateful to Allah that you're good with a gun.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

63.  Say, "Who rescues you from the darkness of the land and sea when you call upon God in humility and in secret, 'If God only saves us from this, we shall truly be grateful.'"

The Cattle 6:63

Yikes!

 

Ha!  The woman modeling the ring looks like a thief!

You can learn about me from from this blog.  It can be tedious to trawl through because I've accumulated 19 years of crap here from posting everyday, but there's always someone out there who who goes through it.  I think I even have a couple of photos of myself up.  I'm 31 years older than you.

Mary's singing has probably caught your attention.  Mary and I are servants of Allah.  I stream the Qur'an everyday, and Mary sings for 2 hours.  The Qur'an is not for sale, and neither is the music.  We are not allowed to ask the humans for money.  What I can offer you as a dowry for marriage is Mary's stream.  Meaning that you view and restream it, and the restream is yours to do whatever, and whatever money you get out of it is yours as my dowry.  You will find it to be quite lucrative.  Many musicians accompany Mary as she sings, and get donations.  How about you master a musical instrument?  Maybe the fretless bass?

Sure, anyone can play along with Mary and earn a few bucks.  But my wife has the credibility and resources of Islam.  And the irony is that it really doesn't matter if you suck, you'll still make a lot of money because of who we are.  Just keep streaming.

If you accept my proposal for marriage, then you will come to me here in Malaysia and be my Muslim housewife.  I will build a house for you and provide for our family.  InshaAllah.  I only have 5 bucks right now, but Allah will make it happen inshaAllah.  That gives us both plenty of time for business as usual.  Please keep chaste and faithful for me: no paramours.  I'm sorry, I don't have a ring yet.  You're going to have to trust me on that, and it most likely won't be better than anything you get for yourself.  How about you get a silver band for yourself, and IOU?

Now it's important that you publicly announce that you accept the proposal to marry me (Zam, that guy from Shadowplay) on Instagram, otherwise I will take silence or innuendo as a "no" and continue wandering the Internet looking for a pretty blonde to marry.  So how about it, Syd?  Will you marry me?

Japan!

I like pretty blondes

 

Yeah, I know who Sydney Sweeney is.  She's a beautiful Hollywood movie star.  Which probably means that she expresses her wealth by going to wild parties and drinking blood, and dines all-you-can-eat at the hot dog buffet.

I regret to predict that people will be forced into cannibalism in America.  It happens when you let the Mob take over the government.  Of course, the wealthy don't care about the suffering of the poor.  Right, Syd?  But if you wanted to get out of the cannibalism and pornography of the Hollywood routine, Allah can definitely help you without your losing wealth inshaAllah.  You need to take a leap of faith.  I need to get married.

I like pretty blondes, folks.

I don't like tattoos on my wife

 

India

 

Be a Muslim housewife

 

Because you will be a celebrity housewife.  I will do the cooking.

"She wants to play the fretless bass!"

No more waiting

 

Pay for the occasion

 

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

189.  They ask you about the new moons.  Say, "These are signs to mark fixed periods of time for mankind and for the pilgrimage."  It is not righteousness that you enter houses from the back but righteousness is the fear of Allah.  So enter houses through their proper doors, and fear Allah that you may be successful.

The Heifer 1:189

Ladies and gentlemen

 

Tupperware party!

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

91.  And when it is said to them "Believe in what Allah has sent down", they say "We believe in what was sent down to us." And they disbelieve in that which came after it, while it is the truth confirming what is with them.  Say, "Why then have you killed the Prophets of Allah aforetime, if you indeed are believers?"

The Heifer 1:91

140.  Or say you that Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob and sons were Jews and Christians?  Say, "Do you know better or does Allah?" And who is more unjust than he who conceals the testimony he has from Allah?  And Allah is not unaware of what you do."

The Heifer 1:140