Letter to Erin 20150611

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  Dahlink!  I'm sorry if I didn't talk all that much yesterday.  Actually, I don't talk much at all usually.  Believe it or not, I talk most to you over everyone else.  Well today I had to get my cesspool cleaned out, so I was thinking about that all day yesterday.  It was just too damned full, and it hadn't been emptied in years.  I went to the toilet more than usual, in anticipation.  So now that it's all cleaned out, I went to the toilet more than usual to check it out.  It's like getting a new car, you just want to keep driving it.  Well, it doesn't have that new car smell.  Actually, it doesn't smell of anything at all.

I was checking out the truck that they used to clean the cesspool, and it occurred to me that the hose that sucks the shit up has a limited length.  The old cesspools at your house inshaAllah are way over on the southwest corner of the house, at least 20 meters away from the driveway.  There's no way that hose runs for 20 meters.  We're going to have to dig a new sewage container system on the northwest corner of the house.  To dig it on the opposite side of the house is right next to the street- it depends where you want your master bathroom.  I'm going to put your bathroom on the west side of the house in my plan, inshaAllah.

Then came dinner time, I was about to cook when I had to change the gas cylinder.  Then my gas regulator refused to work.  Well, there it is.  Of course I had to empty out the cesspool AND buy a new cooking gas regulator right before the fasting month.  It makes complete sense.  There's no such thing as coincidence.  People who believe in coincidences do not think that there could be a mini Mandelbrot 10000 magnifications away.  Or so.  Anyway Erin Sweetie, you are MY girl, and I love you with all my heart.  And I need you.  Apologies for the mundane old sewage talk.