Letter to Erin 20151201

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Her name is Antonia.

I beg your forgiveness for hurting your feelings, and making you angry.  I sincerely love you, I want you to have no doubt in that.  A man loses the ability to fall in love as he ages, love leaves with libido I guess.  I certainly don't know who Antonia is to love her, but I need to be married and have children, and for their mother to help me take care of them.  I don't have money.  What I have is the ability to enlarge the income of others by the Will of Allah.  Not only does the career of my wife flourish, but also the revenue of her bosses.  I'm not the only one who needs you.  Many people need you.  Including your children.

I need to talk about the hypocrites.  They are those who believe, then reject, then believe, and reject faith, and go on increasing in unbelief.  They have faith if there is worldly profit in it.  They are those who pray without sincerity, to be seen of people, and are distracted in mind in the midst of it.  For the hypocrites there is a grievous penalty, and I certainly wouldn't want to be married to one.

Letter to Erin 20151130

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I hope you don't mind that I try to keep this letter as mundane as possible.  I've told you before and I'll tell you again, that we have to keep things mundane in order to raise children.  Of course, if I have something important or serious to say, I would say it.  And I of course I refuse to take credit for what Allah does, so if you want the entire scoop of what's going on here, you're going to have to be here yourself, or nurture a more efficient spy network.  But I would rather talk about the normal things.  The little things.  A man grows older and becomes used to being alone, so I can run out of words, so please forgive me for that.  Sometimes I address you, sometimes I address you, and sometimes I address the both of you, but this is a Letter to Erin and I will write everyday inshaAllah.  I love you and I need you.

The mundane.  I clean my parents' bedroom every Sunday.  It wears me out, because that bathroom takes a lot of scrubbing, plus I dislike house cleaning.  Using a leaf blower instead of sweeping is a great idea, but I would rather do something else than house cleaning.  Oh don't worry, I do house cleaning when I'm forced to.  I'm still listening to "Extension of a Man" by Donny Hathaway over and over again.  It's very beautiful music.  "Someday We'll All Be Free" has to be the most beautiful song I've ever heard in my life.  I had tortillas with chili for breakfast and lunch, while dinner is noodles crammed with veggies from my yard.  Okra, cilantro, mustard greens, kelisa beans, lettuce, hot Thai peppers.  Good harvest today.

Letter to Erin 20151129

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How's your Thanksgiving weekend?  Oh, you had to work.  But you love that!  Make a killing now Sweetie, and stash it all away while you can.  Now is where you are, and now is when you have the power, and now is when you are at the top.  Hooray!  Erin, I love you and I need you.

Technically I'm not married yet, but when we marry inshaAllah, you will be my first wife.  As I told you before, my decision is to focus on Erin's happiness first and make sure she is properly settled down before I take a second wife.  The law of the Qur'an is that I must treat each wife equally, but I'm not married yet, so there.  So I am forced to regard Erin first before I can marry another, besides I need your permission to make the second wife legal.  I'm sure you know who she is, and I don't want to leave her in limbo.  So I want her to know that my intent is serious, but I won't put down a formal proposal and dowry until Erin is taken care of.  Erin, I want you to try be close friends with her, because I don't you to be the only blonde in Perlis.  She will distract some of the jealousy away from you, plus her business will improve for being my wife as yours has improved.  And since I'm an old soldier, I will most likely kaput first.  Then you will have at least have each other to turn to, who knows what it's like to be in the eye of the hurricane.

To my wives, I want you to understand that the goal of our marriage is to stay put and raise a family.  What I care about is your sincerity and your Islam.  You don't have to be an extremist, just do the best you can with the situation that Allah has given you.  I'm sorry but you will lose all your privacy, so please dress as modestly as possible and absolutely no slutting around.  I am faithful inshaAllah, and I want my wives to be faithful.  That being said, I will do my best inshaAllah to give you a happy and secure marriage.

Letter to Erin 20151128

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, beautiful Erin.  How are you feeling today, my darling?  Busy as usual?  Well, please make sure you look after yourself.  Lots of kids in your business right now, huh?  Just guessing.  I'm sitting here writing to you, and waiting for them to call the sunset prayer as usual.  I had dinner at Ina's just now.  Just the usual, nothing too exciting.  My Mom is back home home, and is the center of attention.  I cleaned up her house a little with the leaf blower (sure beats sweeping).  I made a puree out of the kelisa I harvested the other day for my noodles at lunch, which tasted pretty good.  I was nearly done cooking and I dropped an egg into the soup, when I discovered the egg was rotten.  Ack!  How did I miss that!  Now I have to start all over again!

But used up all the kelisa.  So I had to eat bread sticks and marinara sauce for lunch.  Right after that, my parents found out that all the food in their freezer had decomposed, because the wall outlet was out of order.  I was wondering what that smell was.  But nobody opens that freezer except my Mom, and she's been busy with her knee.  So it took that smell to motivate someone to open the freezer, so I had to help clean it up.  Coincidence, right?

I hope all the food in your freezer is good, and in your fridge too.  Fresh food is the best!  Well, that's all for now.  I just called to say I love you.  And I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151127

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How's my All-American Sweetheart doing?  You're so beautiful, Erin.  And beautiful to me.  I still have a headache from yesterday.  I believe I know where the illness came from, but I don't want to discuss it here in this public place.  I'm writing this letter later than usual, because I got distracted right after the Asr prayer by Donny Hathaway and by my snack mix.  As you know, I just acquired one of my favorite snack mixes, which is roasted peanuts with crunchy anchovies.  I had to fry up the anchovies myself and mix it in with the peanuts, and I got the anchovies right the first time, and the peanuts were straight out of the vacuum pack.  But there were too many peanuts and not enough anchovies, so I fried up more anchovies until I thought they were crunchy enough.  But I was wrong!  They're still chewy!  But I already mixed them in!  Arrrgghhh!  The overall texture was driving me bonkers, so I roasted them all up, nuts and all, over and over again.  I think I finally got the blend right, after 3 hours of re-roasting and stirring.  I'm not a perfectionist!  I just wanted my snack mix right!  But the re-roasting soaked the nuts in anchovy oil, and they taste much better.  But slightly overcooked, so they taste slightly like coffee beans.  Arrrgghhh!  I'm not a perfectionist!  I just wanted my snack mix right!

At the same time, I got caught up listening to "Extension of a Man" by Donny Hathaway.  As far as I understand, this album wasn't a best seller, but I like it.  It's like classical music mixed with R&B/soul, with flashes of a western movie soundtrack.  Actually, it's more like soul trance.  It's not just because I've been listening to it over and over again.  It's because Bobby has been outside howling along with the music.  In time and in key, of course.  Yeah, I've been listening to it over and over again.  But I like the music.

You're probably being surrounded by all sorts of people telling you all sorts of garbage, trying to influence you, now that you're super busy and Boss Model.  Always trust your heart Sweetheart, because you have a good heart.  Remember to give your heart plenty of rest, and don't forget to pray.  OK?  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151126

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin Sweetheart.  How are you feeling, my love.  You are my beautiful beloved, and I love you with all my heart.  I am feeling somewhat off today.  It's because of shuffling sleeping hours.  I spent the early morning today with my Mom who is in hospital, and I still haven't caught up on sleep yet, but I remained physically active today.  I cleaned my parents' house, I spent some time with my baby mangoes, and there was much kelisa (you know the legume that grows on my fence) to harvest.  Almost a kilo, which is alarge bagful.  I think I'll make soup with it tomorrow afternoon.  It may seem that I sleep too much, but I estimate it to be about 7 hours a day .  From about 12:30 am to 5 or 6 am, then 7 am to 8:30 or 9 am.  Then I try to take a nap before voice training, because I could easily put myself into a coma with my own voice.  I have fainted more than a couple of times during voice training, but not if I take a short nap before I start singing.  I ate out all day today.  People were buying, and I couldn't say no, especially when there's no time to cook.  Eh!  My heart doesn't feel good.  I'm going to have to take it easy tonight.  I want you to take it easy on your heart.  Just because you're young, don't think you can push yourself and your heart too far.  Get plenty of sleep, and eat properly.  I need you. You're my girl.

Letter to Erin 20151125

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey there, Dreamer Girl!  What do you dream of, my darling?  Beautiful clothes and basketballs?  I dream of guitars, drums and amplifiers.  Dream on, huh?!

My Mom is still in hospital, so I spend my evenings there.  So no yard work or cooking dinner at this time.  Mom sure has a lot of energy for someone who just through surgery and is bedridden.  So I took out for dinner.  Just some fried noodles, but a lot of it.  Want some?

We both know that our dreams are more complex than that.  Just remember to stay optimistic, and pray.  OK?  You are my beautiful girl.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151124

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, lovely Erin.  Dahling!  How are you feeling today?   Busy, I suppose.  Well, please make sure you are giving your heart a break.  Some quiet time, and not just work work work all the time.  And during your time, please think of me, and know that I love you and I need you.  I want to marry you.  OK?

My Mom was in surgery today, so I had an early start at 5:30 am.  I arrived at the hospital just in time to see them wake my Mom up, and take her to surgery.  So I just stayed outside the operating theater, and fell asleep on a bench.  I brought some chili for breakfast or whatever, and waited until I got news that the surgery was a success.  Alhamdulillah.  So I got home in time for lunch, which was an egg and cheese burrito, and a 10 minute nap.  My Dad sent me on a quest for rose and lychee syrup, so that's what I did after dropping off a bottle of water to my Mom.  Dinner was beef and potatoes again, just because I hadn't given much thought to what I would eat.  Sorry it's so boring, but you're welcome to share my food.  I am tired, though.  Maybe I'll take a nap before going to sleep, but I have to make a batch of dough.

Letter to Erin 20151123

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin.  How are you feeling, Sweetheart?  Please don't be blue, because I love you.  I long for you and the time when are married.  I need you, my precious heart.  So please cheer up, pray and be optimistic, OK?  Just now, I was all dressed up and showered and everything, the doors were locked, and my motorcycle was running, and I was about to visit my Mom at the hospital.  She's having knee surgery.  Again.  Then the sky turned black, the clouds flew by faster than jets, and it began to rain.  We are all subject to God's Plan.  So please remember that, OK?  Things happen in their own time.  You ought to know, you've said that yourself.

So I started my dinner instead.  It's beef and potatoes and kelisa (you know, the legume that grows on my fence) with salt and pepper, to be eaten with a side of ketchup.  It's actually very good, you should try some.  I made a very big helping, which includes your portion of course, but I am hungry and I do have a big appetite.  Hungry for you!

Letter to Erin 20151122

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, Erin my darling.  How are you feeling today?  You're not too cold, are you?  It was very hot here this morning.  I have to be careful not to get sunburned.  There was a lot of kelisa (you know, the legume growing on my fence)  to harvest, so I had to bake under the sun for bit with a hook on a long stick.  Have you been busy, my love?  You might as well make as much money as you can while you're hot, and you are hot my love.  You are the most beautiful girl in the world.  You are MY girl.  I love you and I need you.  Anyway, there's nothing much cooking on the stove today.  I have lots of chili left over.  My Mom is back in hospital for knee surgery.  The other knee.  When I was there just now, she gave me her lunch so that took care of my dinner.  I had been snacking on sunflower seeds lately, so I had a craving for peanuts with crispy anchovies.  Yeah.  So I bought some of that while I was downtown.  I had to fry up the anchovies myself when I got home, but it's a great snack.  You must try it sometime.  Plus I kept the leftover anchovy oil.  Great for soup.  So right now, I'm snacking on nuts and crunchy anchovies, and watching how electric clothes dryers are made.  Aaaargh!  An electric clothes dryer is 6000 watts!  That's the heat of 5 hot irons!

Letter to Erin 20151121

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you, my darling?  Are you keeping warm?  You are my Queen, and I love you.  Please take sweet loving care of yourself, because I need you.  Today is Friday (when I write this letter, that is.)  So I had to attend the Friday prayer.  The local mosque is still remodeling, so I had to drive to the mosque 3 miles away.  Right now, I'm feeling a bit sore.  The weather today was finally somewhat pleasant, neither hot nor cold.  So I finally got around to cutting the grass in the evening.  I covered a lot of ground today: my parents' yard, my yard and your yard inshaAllah.  Then my Dad did a lot of pruning in his yard, so I had to clean that up.  I don't know why I managed all that work, but it sure got my blood pumping.  What are those hormones that the body generates when we work out?  Endorphin?  Are they supposed to make you feel good?  I don't know about that.  Whenever I get physical like I did today, I feel aggressive.  Not anger, but not pleasure.  Aggressive.  But I got a lot of work done, and the yard looks great.

Letter to Erin 20151120

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my beautiful Erin.  How are you feeling today?  Not too serious, I hope.  There's not much going on that's out of the usual over here.  I did a little yard work at my parents' house in the morning after tending to my crops.  Which was a good thing I suppose, because it rained after the Asr prayer.  I was about to cut the grass because it's high time I cut the grass over at your house inshaAllah, then I look at the horizon and saw all this blackness.  I debated with myself, would I have time to cut the grass before it rains, if it does rain.  Then I got overwhelmed by a tsunami of laziness, and used the dark clouds as an excuse to go over to Ina's restaurant and eat rice, which I had to do anyway today.  Which was a good thing I suppose, because it rained right after I got there.  The rain came slamming down, so I played Dragon Hills until the storm died down.

How's it going with you?  I hope they're giving you extra armed guard, because you are so precious to me.  You're my beautiful girl!  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151119

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you today, my beautiful beloved?  I'm doing OK over here.  It's another regular day, nothing out of the ordinary going on.  My Dad bought a new leaf blower, so I played with that for a bit.  I'll have to say that it beats using a broom.  For dinner, I made pizza.  When you make pizza at home, you have to focus on the bread first, and make sure the pizza crust is perfect and ready to eat before you add sauce and toppings.  Like buying one of those premade crusts at the supermarket.  Assuming of course, you have an ordinary oven and not the huge steel ovens with concrete slates.  My oven is quite small, and I can only make a maximum of 8" pizza.  With my home made dough, I stretch it out then crisp the bottom on the flat pan I use for tortillas.  I flip it over to cook the top, but not too much.  Now it's time for the sauce and the toppings.  I use my home made marinara sauce, which is spicy.  I'm only budgeted for sliced cheese, but I can't find the right mozzarella around here anyway, so there.  I don't have any basil to harvest either, so there.  Today's pizza is a sausage pizza.  I didn't make my usual home made halal beef sausage recipe because I had a lot of leftover "rendang" spices that my Mom made, so I mixed that into the ground beef for a lemongrass and coconut flavored sausage.  Since it's only sliced cheese, I put it on last after the sausage has cooked on the pizza, then bake the cheese just enough to melt it.  It's good pizza, especially considering the limitations.  I made a pizza for my parents, one for you, and one for me.  Oh, I ate yours.  But I do love you!  And I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151118

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I am a servant of Allah.  Erin is my girl, I love her and I will marry her inshaAllah.  I need her.  Ya Allah, please bear witness that I serve You, and anyone who harms my wife is an enemy of Allah.  Ya Allah, please protect us and our loved ones, and make our path easy.

It is very expensive to maintain an army.  Sun Tzu knew this thousands of years ago.  It is more expensive to hide the army, and costlier than that to hide the leaders and generals.  Why hide?  I hide because I don't want to be worshiped, or regarded as some sort of spiritual or political leader.  The leaders and generals of the secret army hide because they don't want to be caught.  Since maintaining an army is so expensive, the way to track down the leaders and generals is to follow the money.  They know this, so they arrange a trail's end with someone who will carry the blame.  A patsy.  A squad leader.  A sergeant.  But as long as the boss is still empowered, the war is not over.  They killed Osama bin Laden.  Is the war over?  No, because he wasn't the boss.  I feel pity for the soldiers who sacrifice themselves while thinking they are martyrs, because they will have to confront Allah with the fact that they never bothered to question their orders, because the murder of innocent civilians is not justice, but oppression.  PHARAOH.  By the way, the first army to utilize suicide bombers was from Sri Lanka.  PAGANS.

What's so profitable about the Middle East anyway?  Well, there's oil.  Right next door to the Middle East is India, with the largest natural deposit of iron in the world.  Oil and iron.  However, the secret army is not making any gains from annexation.  So far.  Therefore the financier has to be an organization with diversified incomes.  But an organization is not in itself evil: it is the individuals that drive the organization that are evil.  I feel sorry for any investigator trying to follow the money, because they will most likely be on the payroll of those they investigate.  But why France?  They lost their military might after World War One, and are still trying to catch up.  What's left is good food and good clothes.  Food and fashion.  The attack on France seems more personal than strategic.  Here we follow the characteristic of evil, which is uncontrolled lust.  Therefore, the individuals to investigate are the wealthy ones who make prostitutes out of models.  Link these people to the secret army, and you would have found the bosses.

Letter to Erin 20151117

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, beautiful girl!  I love you so much.  I'm writing to you a little later than usual, because when I went to the might market just now I got distracted by a kilo of chicken wings.  Yeah, it's chicken wing night tonight.  It's probably not a blessing that I eat a whole kilo of hot wings by myself, but everything's a blessing because sometimes we misinterpret.  I just meant to pick up some cilantro for my marinara sauce.  Chicken wings take a long time to cook, even at high heat.  Got to get that skin crispy, you know.  Plus being hounded by vicious beasts all that time.  But I gave the kittens their snackipoos after I got done devouring my share.  Oh, I forgot to make ranch dressing!

Well, of course I wish you were here to share my chicken wings with me.  I need you, you're my girl!  So I guess I'll make marinara sauce tomorrow morning.  I just made a batch of dough last night, which should be ready the day after tomorrow.  I like to make hard dough, so it ages slowly.  So I will be making a batch of chili as well.  That should warm you up during those cold nights of yours!  It was bloody hot again this morning.  You should be here, so you can wear a bikini 24/7.  No you can't, I won't let you.  Anyway, it looks like pizza will also be on the menu in the near future.  My basil isn't mature yet, but it should taste pretty good anyway.  InshaAllah.  I have a lot of experience making pizza, you know.  You're welcome to join me for pizza anytime.  Meanwhile, please bundle up and stay warm OK?

Letter to Erin 20151116

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Don't you get the feeling that some wealthy pervert just threw a tantrum?  Oh hi, Erin!  How are you?  How's business?  Please make sure you get sufficient rest and eat properly, OK?  Always know that I love you, and I need you.  Right now, I'm watching TV while I write this letter.  Mysteryquest: The Zodiac Killer.  I'm not good at decoding ciphers.  I take a different approach to analyzing crimes.  Anyway, there's not much going on here today.  I had a filling dinner, noodles with chicken in spicy soy sauce.  I have lots left over if you want some, otherwise I'll just have it for breakfast or lunch tomorrow.  After this, I have to make a batch of dough then I have to play guitar for a while.  You take care, my beloved.

Letter to Erin 20151115

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  Is it nice and cold over there?  It was bloody hot this morning.  My okra dried up over the afternoon, even though I gave it plenty of water in the morning.  Some plants are fussy.  If I give my cilantro too much water, it rots.  Right now, it's raining.  Boy, it's raining- it's pelting down cats and dogs.  Well since it's cold over there, at least you have more options in clothing.  Wear a nice suit for me, OK?

I've been trying to grow my own food.  Like okra, mustard greens, tomatoes, eggplant, etc.  I dug up some tapioca for dinner, and boiled it.  I don't usually eat tapioca, but my Mom loves it.  I managed to dig up 2 large roots, so I gave one to my Mom.  I had never boiled tapioca before, so it was first time to process it.  Some parts are woody, and some parts are soft, so I used a hacksaw to separate the parts.  Boiling softens up the tapioca, and boiling it too much turns it into mush.  Hey, you can make a cake with it!  The locals do make a cake with tapioca, it's called "bengkang".  I wonder what it would taste like with chocolate?

Bob Cat and Bat Cat haven't been eating out of my hand lately.  They've acquired a taste for mice, and God knows there's plenty of mice around here.  They work as a team to round up the mice: one brother flushes them out, and the other pins them down.  They don't like the skin and guts, so they leave that lying around the yard.  It's a blessing to have such professional mousers in the family, but mice are poisonous to humans so I have to be careful that my cats don't scratch or bite me.  What great cats, though.  Alhamdulillah.

Well, make sure you bundle up and stay warm, OK?  I love you, Sweetie.  And I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151114

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin.  How are you doing, my love?  I'm sitting here as usual, waiting for them to call the sunset prayer while I write this letter.  Today is Friday.  I had to attend Friday prayers at a mosque 3 miles away, because the local mosque is remodeling.  They don't have air conditioning, but they do have a huge compound, well kept too,almost like a mansion.  The actual mosque is not that big.  The vicinity also situates the royal golf course and some other tourist attractions, and the annual cat show is held in the area as well.  I don't generally hang around the area, beautiful though it is.  I would rather work on my own garden.  I need more vegetables!

I did have a good harvest of kelisa today, you know the legumes that grow on my fence that I told you about.  So I saute them lightly in a sauce made of soy paste, garlic and hot pepper puree, throw in some chopped steak, then stuff it all into dough and deep fry them.  That was dinner.  I ate your portion, I'm sorry.  My cost of living went up when I got home Internet.  Seems measly, but my budget isn't big.  It's worth it though, because the commute to the Internet cafe was getting too dangerous.  Always someone trying to tag me with their car.  Not occasionally, but most of the time.  So I got sick of it, and got home Internet.  That also gave me more time to work on growing my own vegetables.  I'm not very good at it but I'm getting better, and inshaAllah soon I will get great and consistent harvests.  I pray you are eating properly and getting enough rest.  I know you are very busy now, so please take good care of yourself.  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151113

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Sweetheart!  How are you feeling?  Are you eating well?  I just got home after eating dinner.  I had rice.  Are you enjoying your caviar and toast?  I don't know if I would enjoy caviar all the time.  What I would eat all the time if I had the money, is beef jerky.  The quality stuff.  The stuff with lots of fat, and super spicy.

It's just another normal day here for me.  The Struggle to be Normal.  I went out for drinking water and gasoline in the morning, and in the evening I cut grass.  My parents treated me to dinner, so I ate out.  I practice bass as usual tonight, then take watch TV and snack on sunflower seeds.  Did you know that sunflower seeds is a cure for gastritis?  Well, I hope you don't get writer's cramp from signing all those autographs.  Please make sure you look after yourself.  Please stay clean and get plenty of rest.  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151112

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Yeah, you could say that Bob Crane had it coming.  A lot of people have punishment coming, some of them Allah allows to old age so they increase in iniquity, and they reject the Qur'an.

Hi Erin!  How's it going, beloved Sweetheart?  I hope you're eating properly, getting enough rest, and having a great time.  Nothing much happening here today.  The sun came out today, but it rained at sunset.  I've gotten hooked on a couple of new games, so time passes by quickly for me.  I did manage to clean my bedroom today, and later on I will have to put in some practice on bass.  Writing, rather.  One thing about writing music, is that most of the time it could better.  At least I'm at the point in my life where I enjoy listening to my own music.  It's not narcissm!  Nostalgia.  Reflections of my life flashing by.  Dinner today was teriyaki chicken on steamed rice.  Sweet, delicious, and filling.  Now that it's getting closer to the holiday season, you're going to get busier and busier.  Because you are the All-American Sweetheart!  I love you oodles.  And I need you.  Beautiful Erin.

Letter to Erin 20151111

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I suppose I have to talk about Bob Crane's death.  About being a spiritual investigator, it's not all about studying the Qur'an and receiving inspiration through prayer and such.  The facts and clues have to be studied as well.  For example, Ian Curtis had always planned to die young, but his wife said he had set the age of 25.  What made him speed up the schedule?  Was he really suffering that much from his illness?  I didn't really think about it when I discussed his case the last time, but last night it occurred to me: he was being cock-teased.

This is not a court of law, but this is psychic investigation not conjecture.  The inspiration comes from Allah.  And inshaAllah, justice by way of prevention is superior to justice by way of litigation.  Don't you agree?

The difference between the pervert who stays in his bedroom and never makes any human contact and the pervert who sluts around, rapes, and kills people is called "restraint".  This is whether or not he is aware of his restraint.  Bob Crane had no such restraint.  He lived for as much sex as possible, came into trouble with many a jealous husband or boyfriend, and made a hobby of amateur pornography.  The night of his death, when he left work he found that someone had tampered with his car.  The next day, he was found dead on his bed by Victoria Berry when she arrived early for an appointment, in a fetal position with a power cord tied around his neck and semen on his thigh, his head being bashed in.  All the doors in his apartment were unlocked.  There was no evidence of struggle.  Victoria Berry was his co-worker, and she had a key to the apartment.

It sure seems that Bob was killed by someone he knew.  His buddy John Carpenter was the focus of the police investigation, and was eventually brought to trial 10 years later for murder and found innocent.  The cops behaved strangely at the scene of the crime.  After dusting for clues, Victoria Berry was brought back into the apartment, where she was given a tour, used the phone, and kept in a state of anxiety.  Then evidence was lost during the 10 year gap between the crime and the trial.  In my sight, when the cops behave strangely and evidence is lost is evidence in itself: the action is evidence.  Like when they lost JFK's brain.

Someone used Victoria's key to punish Bob for engaging in sexual activity with Victoria.  Someone with enough influence to make the cops act stupid and lose evidence.  Not John Carpenter, who was a nobody.  But he did seem to know something when he told the cops that Bob always took a piss after having sex.  Whose semen was that, and where is it now?

All in the name of "fun"!  I'm joking, of course.  After all, Allah accepts the repentance of one who sins in ignorance then repents afterwards, but not the person who continues to do evil then repents on his deathbed.  I don't particularly like Bob Crane, and I don't like "Hogan's Heroes" either.  I don't know why I have to discuss his case.  I think it's more important that you be aware of his story.  Erin, please take good care of yourself in my absence because I love you and need you.

Letter to Erin 20151110

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, beautiful Erin!  How does it feel to be so gorgeous?  Well, I wouldn't know.  I'm just kicking back here, waiting for them to call the sunset prayer, and watching the "Gong Show".  Rindercella!  Nothing much going on here.  What did I do today?  In the morning, I was busy tending crops.  There's a horde of little white moths attacking my plants, about the size of an ant each, and invulnerable to my pesticide.  Also the canned bug spray.  I can't afford a different bug spray right now, so I'm hoping that moving the plants into the bright sunlight would discourage them.  I can't move the tomatoes, though.  In the evening, I was about to go and cut grass somewhere then suddenly it rained.  So I cooked dinner instead.  Rice with steak and veggies in spicy sauce.  Very filling.  What else?  That's it.  I hope you're having fun with whatever you're doing over there, and making sure your sweet precious self is safe.  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151109

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How's it going, Sweetheart?  Are you busy, busy, busy?  I know it's work, but please don't overdo the partying, OK?  I want you to take good care of yourself because I'm not there with you, because I love you and I need you.  It's just a normal day for me.  Sundays are always busy for me because I have to clean my parents' house, and you know how I feel about house cleaning.  My Mom and Dad are out of town right now, so I was able to turn on the AC while I was being maid. 

It's cold over there right now, huh?  I prefer cool weather, but it hardly ever gets cold around here, and I heat up easily to boot.  The morning was hot and sunny, but it rained this evening and it's still raining now.  So I spent the evening sitting on my porch, watching the rain.  The first day I returned to Malaysia from USA, it rained and I spent the evening watching the rain.  A neighbor passed by, and asked me what I was doing.  I said, "I'm watching the rain."  I don't know what happiness is, but I enjoy watching the rain.  Would you like to watch the storm with me?  Don't be afraid of the rain!  The rain is a blessing from Allah, especially now that the world is running out of fresh water.

I ate simple meals in the morning because I was in a hurry.  Just melted cheese in tortillas.  For dinner, I made home made chicken nuggets.  I didn't use the nugget part of the chicken, just the white and red meat, and I didn't overcook them, so they tasted perfect.  I enjoyed them with home made hot sauce while watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2013.  Want some?

I hope you don't mind if I take this opportunity to ask God for some musical instruments.  I'm asking God, not you.  Ya Allah, please grant me the following musical instruments:

1.  Gibson Les Paul Traditional 12 string Gold Top (right-handed).
2.  Music Man Sterling 4 string fretless bass in any color (right-handed), or a Warwick Dolphin Pro 4 string fretless bass in any color (right-handed).
3.  Marshall DSL100 Head with a JCM1960A speaker Cabinet (240 volts).
4.  SWR Redhead Bass Combo Amp (240 volts) or a Gallien-Krueger MB 112 Combo (240 volts).

I also need drums and cymbals, but that's more complicated to describe and acquire, and more expensive.  Thank You!

Letter to Erin 20151108

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ah, chocolate.  I was watching a documentary on cocoa beans, and I noticed that some of the beans snap when you break them, and others don't.  So I'm guessing that the higher grade of beans go snap.  Otherwise, it's just a blend of flavors that make the chocolate.  I added butter to the mix, and the flavor is now so acceptable that I was motivated to lick the bowl clean so as not to waste any chocolate.  The texture is not so snappy, but it's not as cakey as it was the last time.  I think this would make a great chocolate mousse.  That's my next project.

Plants are growing great in my garden right now.  I have so many babies that it's impossible to count them.  What's ready to harvest is the kelisa beans growing on my fence.  And they need to be harvested or they'll harden, and go to waste.  Kelisa has a crisp green flavor akin to lettuce, but it's a legume.  So for dinner I cooked up a tenderloin steak, and stir fried the kelisa in a mix of hot red pepper puree, soy paste, chopped garlic and palm oil.  Then combined it as a stuffing for a couple of burritos.  A perfect match!  Alhamdulillah.  I must remember this recipe.  I also harvested some mustard green sprouts and used them for my noodles lunch.  Tasted mustardy!  Good stuff.

I pray you are taking care of yourself, and not getting too caught up in the competitiveness of your business.  You're MY girl, you're already a winner in my book, so don't try too hard.  I love you, and I need you.  Next I'm watching the movie "Heathers".

Letter to Erin 20151107

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

This music is both a burden and a blessing.  God knows what it is I have to wield, but no other human alive would know.  Allah is the One Who makes it rain.  I am not a political nor spiritual leader, and the Last Prophet (peace be on him) has passed away.  I am a musician.  To the world, what's occurring here may be fascinating, but to me this is a network of chains.  My reward is with Allah, and I have received zero public funding or donations for my work in this country, but at least Allah has faith enough in this music to house and finance me if the humans don't.  You are my wife.  I don't want your hard earned money.  What I care about is your Islam.  You don't have to be an extremist, just do the best you can with the situation that Allah has given you.  Please give thanks to Allah for the advantages given to you that no other woman in the world has.  I love you, and I need you.

The business situation that is here and has been networked all over the world is at least 7 years old already, by the Will of Allah.  It is simply obtuse to try to get me to sing and build another business situation somewhere else.  This is the place (pardon the Mormon simile), and you are my wife inshaAllah.

I had to use up the rest of the squid, so it was fried calamari for dinner.  If the food tastes good, why not have it as a full dinner even if it is an appetizer?  And the fried calamari tonight tasted awesome, and there was a lot of it, so I'm definitely full.  I would have left some for you, but you weren't here.  Sorry.  It sure generates a lot of dishes, though.  Oh well.  Alhamdulillah.

Letter to Erin 20151106

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It's raining right now, so I'm writing this letter earlier than I usually do, which is right before sunset, while I wait for them to call the sunset prayer.  Obviously I can't do any yard work, but I do have a craving for hot rice.  I asked Ina if she would be cooking up a new pot of rice and if she did, I would have dinner over there.  It doesn't look like she will, so I'm going to roll up more of that chicken in dough then deep fry it.  When my Mom makes "rendang" (meat in spicy coconut/lemongrass sauce), she normally uses beef, but this time she used chicken for some reason.  So I separated the chicken from the sauce, and that's what I've been using to make deep fried stuffed pies.  Sorry Mom, but it just doesn't taste the same with chicken.  I have some beef, but I'm thinking of mixing the sauce in with ground beef to make "rendang" sausage.  What do you think, Mom?

I'm pleased to report that my mustard green experiment was a success, and now I have mustard greens growing in the yard.  A LOT of mustard greens.  In pots, peat pots, all over the yard.  Praise be to Allah!  Mustard greens can grow pretty large, and have a lot of body.  I use all of the plant too, stems and everything but the roots.  I'll save some for seed, and use the rest for wraps, soups, stir fry, whatever.  Next, I'm going to roll out some dough to make pies, and make sausage.  You want some?  Please eat properly and get sufficient rest, OK?  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151105

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ah, chocolate.  I told you before that I couldn't find cocoa butter anywhere around here anywhere.  So the only thing available around here, besides the name brand chocolate, is cooking chocolate.  Cooking chocolate has that greasy feel and taste about it, so I figured that I could add a layer of water, and the grease would float to the top.  I had to "wash" the cooking chocolate 3 times before the greasy flavor disappeared, but the "feel" of it was still wrong.  So I added some powdered milk to it which improved the taste, but it still felt wrong: it turned out more cakey than snappy.  I don't think I diluted the powdered milk in properly.  But I think this is a losing battle: the fundamental nature of cooking chocolate is just plain gross.  I think I'll try adding some butter in next.  Otherwise, we're going to have to serve you British or Dutch chocolate.  The quality stuff, and IS available here.

Dinner was much more successful.  I still had that batter from yesterday that I made for the fried calamari, plus I also had that chicken rolled up in dough.  So I rolled that around in the batter, then deep fried it.  It turned out great!  Alhamdulillah.  Like a stuffed pie with a crispy shell.  I'm sorry but I only had one serving, but if you had been here, I would have split it with you.  Because you are my girl, and I love you and need you.

Letter to Erin 20151104

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you doing today, my love?  Mwah!  I love you!  Oh, it's just another average day for me.  What would you want happen?  Allah has all the Power.  I'm watching the Gong Show right now.  The old Gong Show from the 70's.  That has to be the best talent show ever, not just because the losers can be more entertaining than the winners, but also because Chuck Barris is the best host ever!  My favorite show was when that dog couldn't leave his crotch alone.  That's entertainment!

I spent the evening cutting grass by the side of the road.  I had rolled up some chicken in dough this morning to be deep fried, so I could have had a quick dinner.  But I wanted to change the pace a little, and went for fried calamari instead.  And instead of the old squid dipped in egg then flour, I decided to make a crispy batter instead.  It was OK, but I like the old way better.  The battered squid was much more filling though.  Crunchier, too.

Erin, please make sure get plenty of rest and are eating well.  Take good, loving care of yourself because I need you, OK?

Letter to Erin 20151103

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Art is life, life is art.  That's certainly what those reality shows aim for, if it weren't that they are so damn boring.  It seems dangerous to be on a different plane of reality, but it's equally as dangerous as sitting on your couch everyday all the time, then dying of diabetes and heart disease, and that we're going to die regardless.  And if Allah is pleased with us, perhaps we would live longer than them and have a happy life and afterlife.

Do you know who Andy Kaufman is?  He is famous as a comedian, but I find him to be more outrageous than funny.  He is very famous for blurring the line between reality and fantasy, and taking others along for the ride.  There are 2 perspectives to this kind of work: the first is to create the situation, and the second is to be the situation.  By the Will of Allah, we are the situation, and we are trying to be normal and happy.  We will need the help of Allah to do so.

Please try to slow down and take it easy, and please maintain your prayers.  You are my girl, Erin.  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151102

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

The show never ends on Shadowplay TV!  Subhanallah!  But seriously people, it's just another ordinary day.  It's all the same old day, then comes Judgement Day.  Erin you are my girl, so keep in mind that the show goes on where you are, too!  This is why your bosses love you so much.  I love you too, and I need you.

I don't ever want to go through another puppy crisis like that ever again.  That hurt my chest, and it still hurts today.  So I distract myself with some good eats.  I seem to have a lot of filet mignon right now.  It's not caviar, but it's the best.  I marinade my beef the same way every time: sugar, pepper, and soy sauce.  I like to pan fry it in butter until rare, then shut the fire off, cover it up and let it sit.  My Mom gave me a loaf of french bread and some store bought fish curry.  There was a mackerel in the curry.  Say, if I mix the fish in with the steak, then I would have Filet O'Fish Mignon!  Ahahahahahaha... nah.  I gave the fish to the cats.  Then I used the broth to season my potatoes.  I also used cilantro, ground cilantro seed, onion, pepper, and a kind of squarish local string bean called a "kelisa", which add a lettuce-like flavor to the potatoes.  If you slice it, then the slices look like Tie Fighters.  It's an awesome dinner, praise be to Allah, with plenty left over.  Some for you!  Otherwise, I'll have it for lunch tomorrow with a tortilla.

Oh, I'm supposed to talk about Bob Crane's murder in 1978.  Maybe tomorrow.