Cats

When I got done with voice training today, I walked out of my bedroom/office to find Floofy with a claw tangled up in the hairs of Chee Cheah's butt.  They were both snarling and growling at each other, but they were very well stuck to each other.  Oh yeah, I managed to get them free.  Of course.

While I was doing whatever it was I was doing that evening, I came across a realization of the connection between ranch dressing and alfredo sauce: the only difference is the eggs.  So I though I would try that out: as long as I kept an eye on it, it should turn out OK.  So I cooked my pasta and heated up the ranch dressing at low heat, I put a lid on the sauce and had to wait.  Of course.  Then I had to drain and cool the pasta, but Doutzen is in heat right now and she needed to be petted otherwise I would be kicking her all over the kitchen because she would be holding on to my foot at all times, so I forgot to stir the sauce or even check it.  Since I made my mayo from scratch using egg whites, the sauce turned into a very fluffy omelet (excluding the burned spot at the bottom of the saucepan).  So for dinner, I had pasta salad (fettucine) with ranch omelet and diced tomatoes tossed in Italian dressing.

It actually tasted quite good: it tasted exactly how it sounds.  And I had a huge helping too, as you can see.  But my stomach doesn't like strange combinations.  I should have made pasta salad with tomatoes tossed in Italian dressing, with a ranch omelet on the side.  This made me aware that I haven't tried pasta salads yet in this month's exploration into Erin's food.  Do you eat pasta?  Doesn't pasta have gluten?

Natty Dahlink!  You beautiful little sweetheart!  Your movie assignment for today is another James Bond movie from 1981, "For Your Eyes Only" featuring Roger Moore as 007.  Wow, my computer is really focused right now at giving you movies to watch.  Which brings to mind a concern I have, are you going to be one of those starlets that would do any nude scene just for the sake of the movie and eventually wind up doing porn?  I hope not.  You are recognized for your chastity, integrity, and piety.  That is your image and selling point.  You are my wife inshaAllah.

If my life were a movie...

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I hope you are feeling and doing great.  It's been a hectic evening for me.  In a span of less than 2 hours, I did my laundry, swept and mopped my mother's kitchen, repaired a harvesting saw, climbed onto my roof and fixed some shingles, went to the store and bought water, hung up my laundry, cleaned up after the cats, cooked dinner and ate dinner.  Oh, I did the dishes and showered too.  I could have done just one of those things all evening and it would have been healthier for me, but it dudn't turn out that way.  One thing led to another.

Dinner was rice vermicelli noodles again.  Wok fried in sauce.  I don't enjoy working with rice vermicelli- it either clumps up into a big glob, or it fragments all over the place.  I prefer the big noddles.  Frying noodles in a lot like mixing a salad, I find.  Except that there's heat involved.  Dinner was tasty though, alhamdulillah.  Today's dinner, although not officially an act of exploration into Erin's food, could qualify as vegetarian.  Except the fish cake.  And the egg.

Hey Natty!  How are you, beautiful girl?  I have another movie assignment for you.  I don't have a lot of movies in my collection, especially in comparison to the huge database out there that you should be studying if you want to be a movie star.  I have only the movies which came into my life as it happened, which I want to share with you.  InshaAllah, the connection with me will help you become a movie star.  Today's movie is "Better Off Dead" from 1985.  Hey, it's on YouTube!

Ranch

Ray-yanch!  Ah gotta have mah RAY-YANCH!

This month's exploration into Erin's food continues with ranch dressing.  The beauty of ranch dressing is that it can make almost anything taste good if you pour enough ranch dressing on it.  Ranch dressing is basically mayo and milk with seasonings which is mostly salt and onions and chives.  When I was back at the restaurant, I made ranch dressing with buttermilk and mayo, but I think it's fine to use milk or cream if you balance the milky flavor with the mayo.  Today I made my own mayo with egg whites and palm oil.  Then I used milk, anchovy bouillon and chives and guess what?  It tastes like ranch.  But it was kind of runny (more milk than mayo) so I thickened it up with powdered milk ( I had to run to the supermarket to get that).  Now it tastes milky, but I'll balance that out tomorrow.  Obviously I don't have a set recipe for my home made ranch dressing yet, but it's still good.  So for dinner today, I made a veggie platter with jicama, broccoli and tomatoes.  With ranch dressing, of course.

 

Natty Honey, your movie assignment for today is "The Matrix" from 1999.  Yes I know you've seen it already but watch it again, this time from the perspective of a professional in mass media (namely, MY girl).  Or should I say "movie star"?  You can be a movie star if you want to, but please be my wife first if you want my endorsement.  You know, using humans as batteries is an interesting idea and all, but they should have farmed electric eels instead.  More power per hassle value.  The machines should have known that.

The Tummy

For all you folks out there that have been trying to recreate the dishes I've posted on this blog but have resulted in diarrhea and nausea, you are not doing it right because you probably do not have the experience nor the sensitivity to make those dishes.  I'm not the best cook in the world, but I have had decades of experience working in restaurants, plus I am also a fairly good photographer.  The best advice I can give you is the same advice I gave to Erin and Natalie, is to think of your stomach first before adding flavor.  Make sure the food doesn't hurt your tummy first!  Then add flavor gradually.  I personally rarely follow recipes, unless it's something like dough or keow teow kerang (fried flat noodles with cockles) because those foods have to be the same every time: I usually eyeball or estimate what I need, and since I'm not rich I always go with the flow.  But it takes experience to really understand what your stomach can handle, so try and try and try again!

How's your tummy doing, Erin?  I assume you are very busy, but if you are back in NYC you have all the great restaurants there to buy your high class and posh foods that your precious tummy so deserves.  Please take sweet loving care of yourself, because you are my heart and I love you very much.

Natty Sweetie!  How are those studies?  Well here's more for you to study: your next movie assignment is "Josie And The Pussycats" from 2001.  It's a parody derived from the Illuminati type conspiracies, which is famous for plotted assassinations of rock stars and other celebrities.  In this movie the motive is to hide brainwashing, but in real life people are more interested in maintaining power plus the ongoing income that great music generates.  But nowadays, nobody is great anymore.  No more Beatles, The Doors, Led Zeppelin etc.  Anyway, there's a solid piece of advice this movie gives us: if you are feeling down think to yourself , "I'm a punk rock prom queen."  Please watch the movies I ask you to watch when I ask you to watch them.  Timing is everything!

Qur'an 20180211

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

30.  Or do they say, "A poet!  We await for him some calamity by time!"

31.  Say, "Await you!  I too will wait along with you!"

The Mountain 52:30-31
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Monkeys!

There are monkeys living here!  I saw them, they were strolling about casually in the duck farmer's yard next door.  My Mom saw them too: a mother and child.  The monkeys, that is.  Now don't get excited, Erin.  This town has a thriving mango industry, and monkeys can be pests.  Probably someone set them loose here to destroy crops.  If you want to raise a monkey, you had better get it as an infant and keep it under control.  I don't want a monkey as a pet.

But what do the monkeys mean?  I went to the market in the morning to get more salad fixings.  Maybe it were monkeys that suddenly raised the price of spinach, and sold out all the tofu.  I did buy some broccoli and jicama though.  I'm thinking of using the broccoli for a tempura, while I used the jicama to make a salad.  A spinach, tomato, jicama, Chinese cabbage and cucumber salad.  I used the pink vinaigrette.  I assume you must like my vinaigrette, because Floofy loves my vinaigrette.  She's always ready to pounce on a vegetable that squirts out of my mouth and onto the floor.  I can't just let her drink the stuff though.  It's oil and vinegar.

 

Hey Natty Honey!  How's school?  I hope you are doing great!  Today's movie assignment is "The Gods Must Be Crazy" from 1980.  It's a cheesy little comedy made as an independent film, but gained enough popularity to spawn a sequel.  I especially love the music.  I don't know how easy it would be for you to find this movie, but please watch the movies I ask you to watch when I ask you to watch it, because I will be watching it at the same time.

Rice products

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  How's work?  I suppose you are keeping busy, so please keep safe as well and make sure you get plenty of rest.  Me, I'm feeling slightly agitated but not out of control.  It's probably all the tourists that are in town for the holiday weekend.  MashaAllah, it's almost as if the tourists never left town....  But I'm out of salad fixings, and I need to go and buy some more.  I think tomorrow I will be able to eat leaves again inshaAllah.  Rather instead, my Mom gave me 3 packs of rice vermicelli.  Plus I still have one and half packs still unused.  So I guess today's adventure into Erin's food is rice vermicelli something.  All these rice products are local economy, not just that but the neighbor to the north which is Thailand also generates rice products.  Which is where this rice vermicelli is from.  You can eat rice, right?  So I made rice vermicelli wok fried in sauce, it's quite tasty, and it turned out to be more photogenic than I expected.  Oh, but I put chicken in there.  Do you eat chicken?  I guess we can add the chicken after.  It has a egg in there too.  Do you eat egg?

Hey Natty Honey!  Are you excited?  Are you?  Are you?  You beautiful creature!  How are those exams coming along?  I hope you did well.  I'm guessing that you like salads too.  No salads on the menu today, but you are more than welcome to partake of the rice vermicelli.  Hey, I'm glad your tummy has calmed down.  But we love that excitement too, don't we?  You can have both, Honey.  Whatever your situation, just be patient and pray.