Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150806

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I suppose since I have 3 female cats permanently kept in the house, the odds are that someone is going to be in heat at any time.  Right now, mama cat Floofy and little ---- are in heat.  Floofy is very subtle in her heat, just one or two extra meows than usual, usually when I'm not around.  After all, she's already had her kittens, so there's no sense of urgency or whatever.  ---- is much more passionate.  Of course I have to pet her and show her some attention, but when I have to do something else, she hangs on to my pant leg with her claws, so I'm dragging her around everywhere.  But I love my kitties, so I don't mind.  I just pray they aren't suffering while in heat.

Ah!  I found a pack of spaghetti in my drawer.  i remember I had bought spaghetti some months ago, but I had lost it, but today it suddenly popped out.  I had a little pasta sauce left, and a little sausage left.  So I fried up some garlic with the sausage, dumped in all the sauce, and added water.  When it dried up a little, I added the al dente pasta, and mixed it up.  I shut off the heat, poured on a cup of chopped basil, a sprinkle of coriander seed , and some cheese on top, put a cover on, then took a shower and prayed the sunset prayer.  I just finished eating dinner before writing this letter.  It was a huge helping, and I could have split it with you, but I ate it all.  Tasted awesome.  Alhamdulillah.

Next I believe I have some encoding to do.  I hope you are getting plenty of rest, eating properly, and maintaining your prayers.  I love you, and I need you.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150805

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin, it's me again, your dog.  Yeah, I'm your black dog.  I have to warn you though, people don't like Zam the puppy dog.  Most people prefer Zam the unpredictable and dangerous.  They don't like me when I'm nice.  Which is a shame, because I hate being a hard ass.  Thus I isolate myself.

I'll have to admit that I get a kick from seeing your being a serious business woman.  I take it that video is from the last Super Bowl?  You were probably just weary from having to work all day.  You know, I remember the 1985 Super Bowl.  Isn't that the one where Walter Payton was about to retire, and he just had to score one more touchdown before he called it quits?  And there was a guy nicknamed the "Refrigerator"?  And the star linebacker was Lawrence Taylor?  Why do I remember all this?  I was still in college, and those were some of the loneliest days of my life.  In high school I was loathed, but in college I was just lost.  So I thought keeping up with football would help cure that lost feeling.  I also watched basketball those days!  What a trip, huh?  Utah Jazz!  John Stockton and the Mailman!  Oh dear, I'm beginning to feel embarrassed.  You go ahead and be the sports pro of the family, and I'll be your biggest fan.  Your dog, rather.  Because I love you, and I need you.

Once we are married and settled down inshaAllah, the sports feed is not going to be all that great for you.  People here like football where you use you kick the ball with your feet, not the football you carry with your hands.  Now is the time to establish the connections to get a reliable sports feed from America to Malaysia.  This could mean big bucks if it catches on, for as yet American sports don't go in Asia except perhaps baseball in Japan.  We're not going to have much privacy anyway, so you might as well get paid to endorse the sports biz.  Just don't forget, after we're married, NO MORE TRAVEL.  Make them travel.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150804

 In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It's Monday evening.  Mama cat Floofy and ---- are in heat right now.  I need to be as candid as possible about an issue which is a topic of hot contention on both sides of the world.  I usually don't care much about what people babble about, but this is a legal issue which involves my wife.  It's the "3 wives" issue.

I will say right now that I like pretty blondes.  Call it chauvinistic or weakness or whatever, but I prefer blondes.  If I don't marry a blonde, I probably won't marry at all, but there has to be a good Muslim blonde out there somewhere.  So when 3 pretty blonde wives are presented to me, it is most certainly a temptation.  I'll have to submit that it is also an ingenious global marketing plan worth billions of dollars, but people seem to forget an important detail: at this moment I can't even afford one wife, let alone three.  Plus I am an old man, and have used up most of my libido.  The Islamic community wants me to give each wife her own house.  Besides the mountainous cost of that, logistics demand that I would aggressively have to protect my wives, and I wouldn't care much about what the people think of my actions in that matter.

My decision is to focus on Erin and her happiness right now.  The best time for her career is right before she marries, and when she is done with her career, I will make sure that she is securely happy and settled inshaAllah.  By then, if I am able to marry more and Erin grants her permission, then inshaAllah it will be so.  A message to my wife: I am concerned about your Islam.  I hate fake friends, and I certainly don't want a fake wife.  You don't have to be an extremist, just do the best you can with the situation that Allah has given you.  Erin, I love you, and I need you.
 
I've posted 2 photos of papaya trees that grow in my garden.  Papaya trees grow as male and female trees.  The male tree is the one with the white flowers, and the female tree is the one with the 3 heads, each bearing fruit.  No, papaya trees don't usually have 3 heads.  In the background is my parents' house, and the vine growing on the female tree is called "sirih", which my maternal grandmother was fond of chewing like gum.


Sunday, August 2, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150803

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Yay!  My first eggplant and tomatoes are ready for harvest!  Alhamdulillah!  I grew those big, round type of eggplants, and I picked the first one today for dinner.  And dinner tonight is eggplant and potato hash, with ground beef, garlic, onions, Thai peppers, cilantro seed, and salt and pepper.  To be served with 2 nice and soft tortillas, one for you, and one for me.  OK, I'll eat them both since you're not here.  I grew the Thai peppers in my garden, too.  I also have chives, mint, cilantro, and basil.  Hmm, I should have put some of that in the hash.  My first tomatoes are sooooo pretty.  Nice and cute and red and ripe.  You know how tomatoes grow in bunches like grapes, and my first bunch of tomatoes was a bunch of three.  But one of them is still green.  Why is that?  What does it mean??!!

I guess I need to take the old weed whacker in for service.  You know, I don't really like all this physical labor.  But if I don't cut the grass then nobody would do it, and it would make me irresponsible, especially when your house inshaAllah is concerned.  I would rather lie around all day and play video games.  If I were pretty, I would rather shave my legs.  But I'm not pretty, and I'm the only one tending the yard, so I have to cut the grass.

Are you feeling blue again, my dearest Erin?  Please be optimistic, and pray.  OK?  Realists try to propound a very harsh and cynical world, but if you want to create a reality, then you would want to create a great one, right?  So please be optimistic, and pray.  Please know that I love you, and I need you.  It's time for the sunset prayer now, and after that I'm going to enjoy some eggplant and potato hash.  Would you like to join me for dinner?

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150802

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Erin, my love!  How are you feeling today?  Well, I miss you too.  I wish we were together.  InshaAllah, we will.  Can't rush God, you know.  Plus there are still many things for you and I to do, and a house to build.  So please be patient and pray.  I love you, and I need you.

I'm not all that particularly busy today.  Of course I had stuff to do, but for some reason I don't feel busy.  I went downtown this morning to get gasoline, and deal with my cell phone account.  I don't use my cell phone much for talking.  It has Internet but only 3G, and I have to travel to find a WiFi hotspot.  I use my phone mostly to play games, watch movies, and read pdf files.  Skype is out of the question, but my phone Internet crawls.  It's going to take money to update my console system for Skype, plus I need to have a ring ready for pickup.

I didn't do any cooking today either.  I had flat bread with curry for lunch at one of the restaurants I frequently patronize, and my Dad bought me shrimp croquettes with fried tofu and cucumbers with peanut sauce for dinner.  You're welcome to share my food anyway.  I was in the middle of cutting grass when my Dad gave me the food.  So I put the food in my motorcycle basket, then continued to cut grass.  I had planned to cut all the grass by the side of the road.  But I was only able to cut the grass at the side of the road by your house inshaAllah, when my weed whacker cut out and I couldn't get it started again.  What does it mean??!!!

Friday, July 31, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150801

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I'll have to say that it's handy to know how to make dough.  Fresh bread is filling, tastes great, good for you, and goes with pretty much anything.  Ya Allah, thank You for the knowledge and the bounty You have provided for me.  I can't make sliced bread like the machines do, but making dough comes easily for me.  It's because I had to make batches from 50 pound sacks of flour 2 to 7 times a day everyday at one point in my life.  My dough is as basic as it gets: flour, yeast, water, salt, and oil.  You should try to make dough too.  Just remember, you have to make dough everyday to become good at it.  Well maybe not everyday, but very very often.  Today for dinner, I rolled out a couple of doughs to about 8 inches, then stuffed with steak, black mushrooms and onions sauteed in butter, and cheese, then cooked them on the flat pan I use to cook tortillas, flipping them over a couple of times.  So yummy, and dripping with butter.  Yeah, perhaps I used too much butter, but it was great.  Oh, I ate yours!  I'm sorry, but you weren't here.  But as you know, you're welcome anytime for dinner, because I love you, and I need you.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150731

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you, Sweetie?  Prepping for football season already?  Go team!  I'm sorry I'm not much of a sports fan.  I guess I need to find out who won the 2015 Ladies Figure Skating Championships.  The only sport I like, and I don't keep up with it.  I'm a big fan of you, though!  Go team!

It's just another everyday day for me here.  I went downtown to pay my phone and Internet bill in the morning.  I wanted to eat at one of my usual spots but it was closed, so I went home and cooked up some beef and potatoes.  In the evening, I cut grass over at your house inshaAllah.  Nothing too special for dinner tonight, just fried calamari.  Squid, flour, eggs, salt and pepper.  But oh so addictive.  I had a lot of cuttlefish, and today I only fried up just the heads and I'm stuffed.  Yeah, I ate your portion.  If you may say that.  Your portion is my portion.  Married people.  One plus one is one.  I love you, and I need you.