Erin, that is a truly luxurious bubble bath, You have certainly become a wealthy woman, and all from your own hard work. Plus, you are beautiful. Congratulations, and God bless you.
Natty, you are really a sweet and beautiful girl. I hope you learn to relax and have fun with your career, especially since it's clear that you have a greater advantage over other girls.
And Happy Birthday to you, Pina. So you're a Gemini. My Mom is a Gemini too. Not that I believe in that astrology garbage, but it does somehow give some sense as to why you are so naughty.
As you know, I cannot be married to a non-Muslim. Of course I don't expect you to do everything correctly: God is Lenient, so I must be liberal too. Especially towards my wife. It is my responsibility to teach you your Islam, so the blame falls on me for marrying you, and not you. All Muslims must learn this prayer. It is called "Al-Fatihah", or The Opening. Please memorize it, at least in English.
I am most curious as to your reaction to this letter. I am sure that God will react to your reaction as well, so please be serious.
Thank you.
Friday, May 26, 2017
Ramadan begins tomorrow
And I am in a big rush! I have to leave for the mosque right after I finish this letter, so please forgive me for being abrupt. I spent the morning making more spaghetti sauce, but I always eat light before going to the mosque, so I had ramen noodles in soup. For the predawn meal, I will be having a heavier meal: tenderloin and white rice. Whoops! Gotta go! I love you!
Thursday, May 25, 2017
New York City
Hey there, city girl! Oooh, I can't match all the luxuries you are so used to partaking in the city- I was digging weeds by the rice paddy just now. Good thing there's the Internet, we can just have someone deliver it by drone or something. All this green and country living has spoiled me. I've stopped using a watch. But stress is stress, I guess. Stress for me is following my cats around with a mop before they pee somewhere else. No, I'm kidding: there's only one naughty kitty, and she's in heat. There used to be a saying, "If you can make it in New York City, then you can make it anywhere." I think nowadays the reverse is true: "If you can make it anywhere, then you can make it in New York City."
Hey Natty, how's it going? Hey there! Hey there, Gorgeous! Hey Natty, you gorgeous blue-eyed girl! Wassap? Wassap? WASSAP?
Oh Pina, you've never had stomach problems before huh? It's called stress. Stress and not eating properly. Again Pina, you would have a greater advantage over them back in the Netherlands.
Hey Natty, how's it going? Hey there! Hey there, Gorgeous! Hey Natty, you gorgeous blue-eyed girl! Wassap? Wassap? WASSAP?
Oh Pina, you've never had stomach problems before huh? It's called stress. Stress and not eating properly. Again Pina, you would have a greater advantage over them back in the Netherlands.
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
2 more days until Ramadan!
Are you excited? Are you? Are you? I am. I like Ramadan. It's my favorite time of the year, and it lasts for a month. For those of you who don't know, Muslims celebrate Ramadan by fasting from dawn to dusk for a month. Then they celebrate the 2 Eids, the first Eid being the end of Ramadan, and the second Eid being the end of the Hajj ritual. It's like having 2 Christmases. But I prefer Ramadan over the Eid. I think the Eid is overrated.
Oh Erin, you are such a pretty young thing! I wish I could have had you when you were that age. I wish I could have you now. I wish I could have you! But in all due respect, I must make sure that you are well taken care of financially. I want to treat you well, because I love you. NYC does seem pretty from that height. But anywhere is pretty from that height, as long as there aren't any clouds or smog blocking the view. Where was the smog when you took that video? That's odd.
Natty, is it defeat to not be enslaved and put through physical duress over and over but not advance anywhere? Is it defeat to not compromise yourself and allow yourself to be molested by homosexual studio bosses? Is it defeat to keep your integrity, and not stoop to evil in order to win? On the contrary, I think it's victory. Besides, who can say who's won when the game isn't over yet?
Pina, I'm glad to see that you are working, and I'm proud of you. Please don't lose your innocence, because you need it to maintain your beauty. It's hard enough to be alone and not be loved in the big city, but you are loved: they are just far away. So be strong instead. Don't get into debt. Pray.
Now I have to go make a batch of dough. So it will ready by Saturday morning.
Oh Erin, you are such a pretty young thing! I wish I could have had you when you were that age. I wish I could have you now. I wish I could have you! But in all due respect, I must make sure that you are well taken care of financially. I want to treat you well, because I love you. NYC does seem pretty from that height. But anywhere is pretty from that height, as long as there aren't any clouds or smog blocking the view. Where was the smog when you took that video? That's odd.
Natty, is it defeat to not be enslaved and put through physical duress over and over but not advance anywhere? Is it defeat to not compromise yourself and allow yourself to be molested by homosexual studio bosses? Is it defeat to keep your integrity, and not stoop to evil in order to win? On the contrary, I think it's victory. Besides, who can say who's won when the game isn't over yet?
Pina, I'm glad to see that you are working, and I'm proud of you. Please don't lose your innocence, because you need it to maintain your beauty. It's hard enough to be alone and not be loved in the big city, but you are loved: they are just far away. So be strong instead. Don't get into debt. Pray.
Now I have to go make a batch of dough. So it will ready by Saturday morning.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Mickey Mouse
Didn't you have a Mickey Mouse outfit? I swore I saw a photo you in one. I personally don't subscribe to having a mouse as a role model. Why couldn't he be Mickey Cat? I love cats. Even naughty kitties... well, sometimes. Anyway with all what's going on in the world right now, you must be having a hell of a time being Mrs. Global. Be cool honey, and don't worry too much about it. Just follow my lead, and take shelter in my shadow. InshaAllah, everything will turn out just fine.
Natty, I don't believe you have ever met Naomi Campbell in person. Even if you have, I want your bosses to arrange for you to meet her AT HER HOUSE. Trust me, it will be great for business. InshaAllah. Make sure you fly in on helicopter, so you can see her house from above. I'm you sure will like her no matter what, but prepare for battle anyway.
Natty, I don't believe you have ever met Naomi Campbell in person. Even if you have, I want your bosses to arrange for you to meet her AT HER HOUSE. Trust me, it will be great for business. InshaAllah. Make sure you fly in on helicopter, so you can see her house from above. I'm you sure will like her no matter what, but prepare for battle anyway.
Monday, May 22, 2017
Qur'an 20170523
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
71. And whoever repents and does good has truly turned to Allah with a conversion-
72. Those who witness no falsehood, and if they pass by futility, they pass it with honor;
73. Those who, when they are admonished with the signs of their Lord, droop not down at them as if they were deaf or blind;
74. And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us to lead the righteous."
75. These are the ones who will be rewarded with the highest place in heaven, because of their patient constancy: therein they shall be met with salutations and peace,
76. Dwelling therein- how beautiful an abode and a place of rest!
77. Say: "My Lord is not uneasy because of you if you call not on God, but you have indeed rejected, and soon will come the inevitable."
The Criterion 25:71-77
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71. And whoever repents and does good has truly turned to Allah with a conversion-
72. Those who witness no falsehood, and if they pass by futility, they pass it with honor;
73. Those who, when they are admonished with the signs of their Lord, droop not down at them as if they were deaf or blind;
74. And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us to lead the righteous."
75. These are the ones who will be rewarded with the highest place in heaven, because of their patient constancy: therein they shall be met with salutations and peace,
76. Dwelling therein- how beautiful an abode and a place of rest!
77. Say: "My Lord is not uneasy because of you if you call not on God, but you have indeed rejected, and soon will come the inevitable."
The Criterion 25:71-77
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The old rice paddy
My mornings have been early lately. I wake up before the dawn prayer, then perhaps take a nap after to wait for the sun to come up. Then I go about my routine of cleaning up after the cats and watering the plants. Lately, I've been doing a lot of digging with my trusty hoe (not ho). I can't stand the direct sun, so I dig dig dig until the sun becomes unbearable. I would have continued digging this evening, but it rained rained rained. So I made some Irish stew instead. Want some stew, Irish? Well, I don't know if it's exactly Irish stew. It's just beef, potatoes, onions, and a bit of garlic. I have sirloin and tenderloin in my freezer, but I didn't want to put that in the stew. What a waste! Besides, burgers have higher fat content so I tore up chunks of beef burgers and put that in the stew. I used demi-glace mix as seasoning, and I have to put in black pepper. Hope I don't forget.
Natty, most men take pride in their strength. Their strength of will if not physical strength. So a man is not going to admit defeat, even when defeat is obvious. Because it's humiliating. He would rather die.
Natty, most men take pride in their strength. Their strength of will if not physical strength. So a man is not going to admit defeat, even when defeat is obvious. Because it's humiliating. He would rather die.
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