Letter to Julia 20121105

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ah, you are my beautiful and precious love, my Julia.  Yes, it saddens me that I wasn't able to make your breakfast in bed, or buy you sweet things for your birthday.  It's been raining everyday again.  My right eyeball hurts, and I feel feverish.  I don't want to get ill, because I've had so much to do everyday.  I pray you are pacing yourself, and taking good care of yourself.  Did you have a good birthday?  I hope you gave yourself a nice halal treat for your birthday.  You are my love, and I cherish you.

Now, now my dearest.  Please try to stay calm.  It is OK to be afraid, but you must put your fear in the right place!  Put your fear in Allah, and Allah will be the One to keep you cool as the old cucumber.  InsyaAllah.  I am just a servant of Allah, a tool, a vessel to carry a few ghosts perhaps.  From your perspective, I am here to love you, help protect you and give you security, and give you a family that's all your own.  Certainly the massive scale of the situation has put you in awe, but this is not really my affair.  This situation belongs to Allah.  Which is also why I have to tolerate my frustrating poverty with patience until Allah deems it appropriate for me to have wealth.  You have patience too, and take a leap of faith, and know that there is no running away from Allah.  There is only running to Allah.