I like this girl

 

I like this girl.  She looks just about my size, and she's way prettier and more feminine than Dylan Mulvaney.  Is she a good person?  Will she make a good Muslim wife?  She's already famous though, so it might be too late for her to ride in my Ark.

Promotion!

 

My cats used to have the rank of lieutenant, but Allah gave them all a promotion!  Congratulations, guys!  You all now carry the rank of captain!  Although all the cats have the same rank, of course the parents have seniority.  Ya Allah, please heal and protect my kitties.  Give them long lives and dignified deaths.  Grant us kittens when the time is right.  Have my cats coexist in peace.  Grant me compassionate birth control for my cats.

Congratulations, Captain Adolf Kitler!  (Those spots on his nose are actually black hairs.  Interesting huh!)

Congratulations, Captain Lookie Floofysdöttir!

Congratulations, Captain Otto Floofyson!

Congratulations, Captain Helmut Floofyson!

Congratulations, Captain Jane Rambo Floofysdöttir!

Congratulations, Captain Anna Floofysdöttir!

Congratulations, Captain Gunhilde Floofysdöttir!

All fall down

 

My old laptop from when I was wandering the streets of Tempe finally passed away.  Goodbye, old friend.  18 years old!  A dinosaur among computers, nowadays you can get 10 times more power from a cell phone.  Ah, but you can't get the past.  Many old and not-so-old things are breaking around me at this time, but I expected that.  All fall down.

I understand this was a live performance.  They must have stuffed all those kids' voices in the keyboards, because everyone else looks too embarrassed to sing.  Whatever happened to Arsenio?

Game of Thrones

 

I don't know, folks.  I like Daenerys, but am indifferent towards Emilia.  Why is that?  She's probably already married, anyway.  I need someone younger, anyway.

Nobody

 

Most people pursue the good things in life and persist in sin.

4?

 

No, absolutely not.  I don't have enough lust.  And even if I did, I don't have enough time.  It would be drop by, drop off a packet, then get back to work or get some rest.  Unless I get them all together in the same room at the same time, even then it would only be one packet at a time.  Then the kids... I would barely know them, especially if I don't choose a favorite.  No, absolutely not.

White horse

 

Ya Allah, please grant me a beautiful blonde Muslim wife who is chaste and faithful.  Please heal and protect us and our loved ones.