Letter to Erin 20160409

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are feeling today, my love?  You must be busy, being a sold out pinup girl and all, but how are you feeling?  Being busy is great, now that you're successful, but please make a stand for your heart OK?  Rest your heart, enjoy your home, enjoy your success, and keep safe.  Today, I'm making time to relax.  Yeah, trying to relax and slow down.  Oh wow, it's 11 pm and the elementary school down the street is having some sort of concert.  The sound of feedback and small kids singing piercing the silence of the night.  I wish you were with me, for I love you so.  And I need you.

Next, let's take a look at Elisa's autopsy report.  The first thing that caught my eye is the loss of blood.  Is it common to lose all that blood from drowning?  I searched for the connection on the Internet, but couldn't find any.  I recall that some people when committing suicide would slit their wrists then hold them down in warm water to facilitate bleeding.  But there were no scars on Elisa except:

The skin shows a 1 inch scar on the right knee and a 1/4 round abrasion on the left knee. (p.2)

The anus is edematous and shows pooling of blood in the subcutaneous tissues surrounding the orifice. (p.2)

The rectal tissue was prolapsed (Forensic Consultant's Report p.1)

The cuts on the knees were not large enough.  So once she was in the water, the blood loss must have occurred through the anus.  The naked body and the blood loss brings to mind the Black Dahlia murder.  Do you know that story?  From my interpretation, the Black Dahlia was a starlet who flirted with the mob and they killed her because she wouldn't put out.  Well, she couldn't put out because her vagina was deformed, but the killers dilated her anus anyway, among other things like beating her up, cutting her in half and draining all her blood.  The Biltmore (where Elizabeth Short was last seen) is just 2 blocks away from the Cecil.  But no, Elisa's death was not as slick as the Black Dahlia.  No mob involvement here.

As for the water tanks, they are 1000 gallon tanks that are 10 feet tall.  Once Elisa got into the tank, she wouldn't have been able to get out by herself.  Even if she had jumped, the water would have slowed her down.  As for access to the tanks, there are ladders available.  I don't see her climbing to the top of the tank being a problem unless she had been unconscious.  And her body wasn't bruised enough for her to have been dragged.  As for the sandy substance and other material throughout her clothes, that's just the dirt on the roof.  Who's going to sweep the roof regularly?  But for the stuff to accumulate enough be embedded throughout and within the folds of the clothes means that the clothes were left exposed to the weather on the roof for many days before being thrown into the tank.

Again, Toxicology indicates presence of her prescription but no recreational drugs.  Rape kit cannot be found on the Internet, probably never processed.

Letter to Erin 20160408

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beautiful Erin.  How's life in New York City?  How's business?  I'll have to confess that I have no desire to visit NYC.  Perhaps if I had lots of money, then again I would probably go to Chicago instead.  No, I've never been to Chicago.  Bulls Fever!  I was tidying up the yard of your house inshaAllah just now, clearing out debris, and playing basketball with coconuts.  Coconuts don't bounce very well.  No, I don't really like big cities.  I like shopping, but I don't like big cities.  The only city I ever liked was Salt Lake City.  It's the mountains and the 4 seasons.  Well, I hope you are taking good care of yourself, because I love you very much.  Please eat and rest adequately, and please pray.  You are my wife inshaAllah, and I need you.

So Elisa made a journey to see a guy.  How normal is that, for a girl to do something dumb because of a guy?  With all due respect to her family, I don't believe she intended to end her life in LA.  And in defense of young men, it takes a lot of wisdom to overcome decisions made by the balls.  Ya Allah, please forgive me for the mistakes I made when I was young, I will never do those again inshaAllah.  It seems unlikely to me that she was murdered, but there are clues that could lead me to believe that, which I will discuss later.  And I don't think I could identify the young man, but I can surely try.

Elisa was a recluse with a short life, so it's not likely she would have a lot of serious relationships.  I guess only one: the young man she considered her boyfriend when she was around 20.  Here are some descriptions of the guy in her posts:

But if you notice things, he’s just…you know, very very very right (not going to say perfect)
- plays the double bass
- wears bowties (and suspenders!)
- plays L4D
- has an adorable smile
and you know since he’s a musician, he has a tormented soul and all the girls go nuts for thatSo the boy I am interested in, he recently got a tattoo and it was on his left wrist

WHICH coincidentally was the one place I contemplated for a tattoo of my own (that and the back of my neck but then how am I going to be able to sleep?)

COINCIDENTALLY I had written HUBRIS the day earlier and traces were still there

My boyfriend looks a bit like Charlie McDonnell.

Just me? Oh ok.

I’m still going to convince him to dye his hair red

Well, looking past the verbosity and the likelihood that he ever considered himself as her boyfriend, we are looking for a musician who wears a bow tie and suspenders, plays a double bass, has a tattoo "HUBRIS" on his left wrist, and looks like Charlie McDonnell (whoever that is).  He is also very familiar with her blog, the clues I will discuss later.  This the same guy who was with her at the Cecil that fateful night of January 31, 2013.  Yeah, she traveled alone and entered the hotel alone, but she wasn't alone.

Speaking of musician, I've been so active on this case lately that I haven't had much of a chance to practice, or do much of anything else for that matter.  Another few more letters, and I will be done with this inshaAllah.  Boss Model.

Letter to Erin 20160407

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Erin, my darling!  Hi, pretty girl!  No, I don't want any wine.  Muslims don't consume alcohol.  Rather, Muslims aren't supposed to consume alcohol.  I don't consume alcohol, and neither does my family.  How's business today?  It's great to be busy and make lots of money, but don't forget your well-being, because it's my well-being too.  Get lots of sleep, eat properly, and don't take unnecessary risks.  Please pray.  I love you and I need you.

Ach!  All this extended computer work hurt my right middle finger.  I switch the mouse to the other hand, now my left elbow hurts.  Anyway, I maintain that Elisa was a normal girl, with a normal heart.  If anything, she had a brilliant mind compounded with a love for reading, rare indeed it is these days to find a bookworm that young.  A philosophical mind at that.  Too bad philosophy is morbid in general, and what she read conditioned her young heart, and she was diagnosed with whatever it was.  If she had followed her heart (and received the adequate financing and support), she would have most likely become a famous Internet writer and philosopher, and perhaps lived a little longer.  However, all philosophy runs into the Wall of God, where one cannot run away from God: one can only run towards God.

Anyway again, gloomy existential thought met love somewhere around the age of 20, and we get a clue of what really motivated this kind-hearted but loud-mouthed young girl, who never boozed or did recreational drugs (as far as I can tell), to go to a hotel in LA that's right next to Skid Row.  She fell in love, then it's the end of the world.  But she didn't want her world to end, so she exercised her will to power, and set forth on a journey to find her man, in the guise of a West Coast meet-and-greet tour.  I can't find any indication that she lost her virginity, which means that I believe she was a virgin until she died.  If it is true that she protected her chastity until she died, then her death becomes a very serious matter indeed.  Her posts were not dated, but I think this post says it all:

I’m not sure why I am being so open with the internet all of the sudden.

It makes more sense to write candidly here than a
journal.

Probably because you know someone is actually
listening to your random thoughts. Anonymity helps too.

So I declared my love to a guy. And unfortunately he does not see me in that way.

I’m glad I did it. It was a bit irrational but I didn’t want to waste 2 weeks going in a circle of should I tell him/should I not tell him. Life is too short to be in grade 6 and not tell the person you like what our feelings are.  And I am heartbroken that he does not feel the same way. He views me as a bro, not a girl.

I have to be satisfied that he will be a friend and I can not ask for more.

But you know, it gets easier to deal with.  Much easier when you go out with friends and meet
some new people, meet a guy who likes the same odd things you do.  And that is life handing me a bone.

Thank you

I am not a mess of emotions like Sunday but shit life can you just throw me a bone and let me have a normal day?

And I am not at all seeking attention

This is truly one of the shittiest week in history 

Maybe it’s because I know that he is out there and that it’s just going to take a while to find him.  But when I do, I won’t let go of him and I have to hope he will hold onto me just as hard.

Letter to Erin 20160406

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my dearest Erin.  Bulls Fever!  How's it going today?  I just had dinner.  It was awesome, alhamdulillah.  I have a lot of eggs right now, so I made a mushroom and cheese omelet, with Enoki mushrooms.  Also one of those hash brown pancakes.  I also had some baby lettuce hearts.  The combination is just great!  You must try it.  I'll make it for you someday, inshaAllah.  I love you and I need you.

I've been busy, too.  My computer has been busy, having to work 24/7.  I don't see what the rush is, but data quotas don't wait for anyone, so I have to keep an eye on my super hard working computer.  I told you before, I was walking around the neighborhood (via Google Street View) around the Hotel Cecil, now known as Stay on Main, because Elisa was on foot.  Two blocks behind is Skid Row, and two blocks in front is the Biltmore.  I saw the Last Bookstore, which just so happened to be Elisa's last bookstore.  It looks like one of those second hand bookstores that also sell used digital media, but I've seen bigger ones in Salt Lake City.  The buildings tower up to the sky, but on ground level are spaces to let.  No glitzy businesses at ground level: cheap eateries, drug stores, thrift clothing, and surprisingly an art gallery or two by the Cecil.  No rich snobs walking the streets: the highest class is the suburbia tourisma carrying shopping bags, and in all directions were the homeless, with their shopping carts and baby buggies, some sleeping on the pavement, others were sitting and waiting, waiting.  Creepers, creepers everywhere.  Why on earth would Elisa Lam want to go there?

Qur'an 20160406

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

183.  They said, "Allah took our promise not to believe in a messenger unless he showed us a sacrifice consumed by fire."  Say, "There came to you messengers before me with clear signs and even with what you ask for: why then did you slay them, if you speak the truth?"

(The Family of Imran 3:183)
------------------------------------------------

Letter to Erin 20160405

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you, my love?  I pray you are taking good care of yourself, and staying safe.  I am writing this letter much later than usual.  I'm deep into research on the Elisa Lam case.  Why do I do this?  Like I said before, I'm just sport killing.

But piecing together this case is tedious work, plus I'm relying on the Internet for information, plus it's been 3 years since she died.  So it's only logical that some data has been edited.  What's slow is trying to get to the bottom of the page on her blog.  I've made 3 attempts already.  The script crashes my pdf converter, so I have to collect the page the old fashioned way: one screen at a time.  She seems like a normal girl to me, and a bookworm.  This is very relevant!

You must be busy, as you usually are.  Boss Model!  Enjoy your success, but please rest and eat adequately, and please pray.  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20160404

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Of course, I would want to perform my wedding before yours.  InshaAllah.  Hopefully they are the same thing, but we will perform our humble ceremony before the lavish one, if that.  Another thing is that we will need a member of your family or a close friend to serve the position of "wali", or witness/representative of your family to bear witness that you are who you are.  OK?  I love you and I need you.

It rained today.  I've been thinking about the diagnosis of bipolar disorder.  I get irritated of people automatically dismissing Elisa Lam's death as a manic episode, when not even the autopsy, while knowing of her diagnosis somehow (she's Canadian), could directly tie her death to her "disease".  Toxicology detected a little of her medication in her system, so she didn't stop taking her medication, but people still attribute her death to bipolar disorder.  This made me realize that if you die of bipolar disorder, it means that you didn't take your medication, you took your medication, or you took too much of your medication.  Gah!  A society of drug addicts.  A diagnosis is obviously a great place to hang blame.