In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hi Sweetie! Hi Smiley! I've been thinking of you all day. I've been thinking of you so much, that I found it hard to work. I couldn't concentrate. I've been thinking of how beautiful and how sweet you are. I must really love you. I do love you, and I need you.
I saw your latest appearance on the Dan Patrick show. That's a beautiful dress. It's really nice of Dan to upload the show to Google ASAP, that I'm only a couple of days behind from the taping. You like those guys, huh? Well, I maintain that all men are beasts. They are either beasts or impotent- nothing in between, unless it's an impotent beast. I'm sure Dan and his gang would agree with me. You don't know because you're not a man.
I'm not knocking your friends, Erin. I'm confirming what Dan said, that you have leveled up. He didn't want to look at your monkey pictures! You must not underestimate the power of a beautiful woman. Sure you're nice, but being nice means that you could get suckered into a dangerous situation. And it could be anybody: a sports star, a game show host, a politician, a tramp on the streets... You have to figure out how to be nice from your elevated position. Give your charity from a safe distance. Better yet, secretly.
Oh well. You hair is super long now, huh? Is it the longest it's ever been naturally? Hair doesn't get extra long automatically. It grows to a certain length then breaks off. Either you're wearing extensions or your blood has improved in quality. Maybe I'm seeing things, but you're definitely more beautiful than ever (I thought you were going to bite the microphone, though). I'm just an average looking guy. I'm like everyone else: I'm not pretty so I wish I were pretty. So you better take a gander at this ugly mug while I'm still alive. If God were to allow me into heaven, I'm going to ask to be pretty. I want to look like Megan Fox with a body like Eva Herzigova when she was 19. But with a big dick. As for you, I don't want you to change. I love you just the way you are. Ya Allah, please protect my Erin and grant us a happy and everlasting marriage soon.
Yeah, we all get older. I'm the guy who loves you. I'm the guy who wants to marry you and help protect you. Anyway, say hi and Go Bulls to Dan for me. Yeah, I'm a sports wife.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Friday, February 19, 2016
Letter to Erin 20160220
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hello Luv. How's it going, Cutie? How are those emotions today? I still can't get over how absolutely hot you are in your SI shoot. You got that sleepy eye thing going, like wow! You are so beautiful. I love you and I need you.
Today is Friday, and I had to attend the Friday prayer. Otherwise it's an ordinary day. I did a lot of tidying up and burning today. It rained today, and I like to do my burning when it rains, if possible. The neighbor was nice to remove the scrub growing on the west border of your house inshaAllah. Thanks! Nothing special on the menu today. Burger and hash browns for lunch, and rice at Ina's for dinner. I hope you are giving yourself a break after all that hecticness. Rest your heart, OK?
Hello Luv. How's it going, Cutie? How are those emotions today? I still can't get over how absolutely hot you are in your SI shoot. You got that sleepy eye thing going, like wow! You are so beautiful. I love you and I need you.
Today is Friday, and I had to attend the Friday prayer. Otherwise it's an ordinary day. I did a lot of tidying up and burning today. It rained today, and I like to do my burning when it rains, if possible. The neighbor was nice to remove the scrub growing on the west border of your house inshaAllah. Thanks! Nothing special on the menu today. Burger and hash browns for lunch, and rice at Ina's for dinner. I hope you are giving yourself a break after all that hecticness. Rest your heart, OK?
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Letter to Erin 20160219
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hi Honey! The big news in our world is of course your SI swimsuit edition 2016. I want you to know that I think you are so beautiful. You look different than usual, but you are so beautiful. You are my heart. I love you and I need you.
I wonder what you ate when you were in Africa. Be cautious with your tummy, please! I would have brought a portable kitchen, gone to the market, and cooked everything to death. I've become very cautious with my tummy in my wisdom. I suppose it irks some people that I don't want their food, but Allah didn't give them my experience, so how could they know.
I spent the evening after voice training clearing up debris over at your house inshaAllah. I wish I could have done more, but it started to rain. So I came inside and made a batch of dough instead. I wish I were with you to celebrate your success, but I wait for you and for when Allah brings us together inshaAllah. I might have played this video for you already, but here we go. Please remember my dearest, that the universe or multiverse belongs to Allah. If you are beginning to read patterns of existence within the world, within plants and animals, you have to interpret it as it pertains to Allah, not as it pertains to you.
Hi Honey! The big news in our world is of course your SI swimsuit edition 2016. I want you to know that I think you are so beautiful. You look different than usual, but you are so beautiful. You are my heart. I love you and I need you.
I wonder what you ate when you were in Africa. Be cautious with your tummy, please! I would have brought a portable kitchen, gone to the market, and cooked everything to death. I've become very cautious with my tummy in my wisdom. I suppose it irks some people that I don't want their food, but Allah didn't give them my experience, so how could they know.
I spent the evening after voice training clearing up debris over at your house inshaAllah. I wish I could have done more, but it started to rain. So I came inside and made a batch of dough instead. I wish I were with you to celebrate your success, but I wait for you and for when Allah brings us together inshaAllah. I might have played this video for you already, but here we go. Please remember my dearest, that the universe or multiverse belongs to Allah. If you are beginning to read patterns of existence within the world, within plants and animals, you have to interpret it as it pertains to Allah, not as it pertains to you.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Letter to Erin 20160218
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hello, my dearest. Hi there, my darling. How's business today? Are we stepping up? Well, you go on ahead. I'll keep guard at the flank. Please make sure you keep healthy, maintain your prayers, and stay clean. You are my girl. I love you and I need you.
I have a house to build. Yesterday, I cut the grass over at your house inshaAllah. I also have been cutting down the trees over at the southwest corner. There's a tree that's tangled up with an old cross link fence and barbed wire. Barbed wire? What was my grandfather thinking? Whatever the reason, as long as that's still there, I can't run the chainsaw through it. The chainsaw needs a new spark plug anyway. But it's still brand new... Oh, it's so hard to get started.
But today, I had a lot of kitchen work to do. Allah gave me some knowledge of cooking as well as music. Whatever Allah gives must be used, for it will be taken away, sooner if not later. That avocado I bought was finally ready to use, so I made a chicken and avocado pizza with mole as the sauce. I used the whole avocado on the pizza, which made it a very expensive pizza. I gave a couple of slices to my parents, then I spilled the rest on the floor. I couldn't let it go to waste, so I scraped up what I could and ate it. The cats loved it too, but they didn't eat the avocado. I planted the seed. InshaAllah, it will grow.
Hello, my dearest. Hi there, my darling. How's business today? Are we stepping up? Well, you go on ahead. I'll keep guard at the flank. Please make sure you keep healthy, maintain your prayers, and stay clean. You are my girl. I love you and I need you.
I have a house to build. Yesterday, I cut the grass over at your house inshaAllah. I also have been cutting down the trees over at the southwest corner. There's a tree that's tangled up with an old cross link fence and barbed wire. Barbed wire? What was my grandfather thinking? Whatever the reason, as long as that's still there, I can't run the chainsaw through it. The chainsaw needs a new spark plug anyway. But it's still brand new... Oh, it's so hard to get started.
But today, I had a lot of kitchen work to do. Allah gave me some knowledge of cooking as well as music. Whatever Allah gives must be used, for it will be taken away, sooner if not later. That avocado I bought was finally ready to use, so I made a chicken and avocado pizza with mole as the sauce. I used the whole avocado on the pizza, which made it a very expensive pizza. I gave a couple of slices to my parents, then I spilled the rest on the floor. I couldn't let it go to waste, so I scraped up what I could and ate it. The cats loved it too, but they didn't eat the avocado. I planted the seed. InshaAllah, it will grow.
Qur'an 20160218
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
222. They ask you concerning women's courses. Say, "They are a hurt and a pollution, so keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, you may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah." For Allah loves those who turn to God constantly, and God loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.
(The Heifer 2:222)
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222. They ask you concerning women's courses. Say, "They are a hurt and a pollution, so keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, you may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah." For Allah loves those who turn to God constantly, and God loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.
(The Heifer 2:222)
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Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Letter to Erin 20160217
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
How's it going, Gorgeous? How about you, Slick? I saw your video for SI that you shot at the One World Trade Center. Hey, nice outfit. You look like an intellectual. A beautiful intellectual. For some reason, I was browsing the SI site looking for you, but so far they haven't listed this year's model roster. You people don't seem to grasp the connection Erin and I have. It's by the grace of Allah. So if a freak current rubbed her body and her body painting off on the rocks, she didn't do it on purpose. It just happened that way. It's like this morning, while I was sleeping, a mouse that was being hunted down by cats squeaked its way into my bedroom and hid in my lap. Like I'm going to protect a mouse! Besides, those cats are my family, and it's their job to remove mice from my house. So I chased it out of my bedroom to the mercy of the cats. It went and hid behind and under the closet in the next room, and refused to be dislodged. Damn. That closet is heavy. I would have to empty it out in order to move it. I sure hope it doesn't die there. That would create a frightful pong.
Anyway, you people be grateful to Allah that my Erin is gracing your swimsuit issue. Didn't that issue sell out last year during her first appearance? The most beautiful girl in the world. She's not a mouse, she's MY girl. So give thanks to Allah. I love her, and I need her.
How's it going, Gorgeous? How about you, Slick? I saw your video for SI that you shot at the One World Trade Center. Hey, nice outfit. You look like an intellectual. A beautiful intellectual. For some reason, I was browsing the SI site looking for you, but so far they haven't listed this year's model roster. You people don't seem to grasp the connection Erin and I have. It's by the grace of Allah. So if a freak current rubbed her body and her body painting off on the rocks, she didn't do it on purpose. It just happened that way. It's like this morning, while I was sleeping, a mouse that was being hunted down by cats squeaked its way into my bedroom and hid in my lap. Like I'm going to protect a mouse! Besides, those cats are my family, and it's their job to remove mice from my house. So I chased it out of my bedroom to the mercy of the cats. It went and hid behind and under the closet in the next room, and refused to be dislodged. Damn. That closet is heavy. I would have to empty it out in order to move it. I sure hope it doesn't die there. That would create a frightful pong.
Anyway, you people be grateful to Allah that my Erin is gracing your swimsuit issue. Didn't that issue sell out last year during her first appearance? The most beautiful girl in the world. She's not a mouse, she's MY girl. So give thanks to Allah. I love her, and I need her.
Qur'an 20160217
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
219. They ask you concerning wine and gambling. Say, "In them is great sin and some benefit for humans, but the sin is greater than the benefit." They ask you how much they are to spend; say, "What is beyond your needs." Thus does Allah make clear to you God's Signs, in order that you may consider,
220. On this life and the hereafter. They ask you concerning orphans. Say, "The best thing to do is for their good." If you mix their affairs with yours, they are your brethren. But Allah knows the man who means mischief from the man who means good. And if Allah had willed, God could have put you into difficulties. God is indeed Exalted in Power, Wise.
(The Heifer 2:219-220)
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219. They ask you concerning wine and gambling. Say, "In them is great sin and some benefit for humans, but the sin is greater than the benefit." They ask you how much they are to spend; say, "What is beyond your needs." Thus does Allah make clear to you God's Signs, in order that you may consider,
220. On this life and the hereafter. They ask you concerning orphans. Say, "The best thing to do is for their good." If you mix their affairs with yours, they are your brethren. But Allah knows the man who means mischief from the man who means good. And if Allah had willed, God could have put you into difficulties. God is indeed Exalted in Power, Wise.
(The Heifer 2:219-220)
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