Letter to Julia 20140525

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest wives.  How are you feeling today?  Please know and feel secure that I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.  Would you like to watch TV?  Right now, I'm watching "Kurt Cobain: the last 48 hours".  I would never keep diaries like he did.  I hate that shit.  Who really gives a shit about my feelings and my problems anyway, besides Allah?  Sorry for swearing.  I don't think I'm special.  I don't want people to know about me.  I'm like Buddy Rivell in the movie "3 O'Clock High" when he said, "I don't like it when people know about me.  I don't like it when anybody knows about me"  These letters to you are the closest thing the humans are going to get for an autobiography.  They should have caught me when I was young.  Let them worship and fear Allah instead.

But really, I'm a big fan of Kitten TV!  Bob Cat was the first to open his eyes!  Another first for Bobby-Wobby!  He took a good look at me, and yawned.  Hepzibah was the next to open her eyes.  She did so gradually, about the size of a pinhole, took a good glance at me, and started crying.  So I immediately gave her back to her Mommy.  Bat Cat has yet to open his eyes.  The baby cats don't really make much of a mess.  I guess they're too young to lick their own butts, plus they only drink milk, so they have Mommy to lick their butts for them.  Humans don't do that.  We're going to have to use diapers, and toilet paper.  And lots of water.

Letter to Julia 20140524

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest wives.  How are you feeling, my love, my love?  You are the light, hope and pride of my life.  The are very, very few women as beautiful as you, and they know it.  You are so beautiful, and I love you, I love you so much.  I need you, I need you.  I will not abandon you my love, my love.  InshaAllah.

Oh, the mundane hurts my feet.  I spent the evening cutting the grass at Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  I did the nearly whole area in one go, and I'm limping right now.  Then I did my laundry.  My washer broke down, so I do my laundry by hand now.  I'm usually naked when I wash my clothes.  It's just more convenient that way: I shower and do laundry at the same time.  Entertaining, huh?  Not.  I was too lazy to cook, so I bought some rice at Ina's.  One of those damned stink beetles flew into my sushi last night.  Gag.  It only ruined 2 rolls.  The vet gave some anti-itch pills for Chee Cheah, so I fed her a quarter.  Thus, she's been very demure lately, almost guilty.  Occasionally, I borrow a kitten from Floofy.  Can I borrow a kitten?  Oh, they are so adorable and tiny.  I think this weekend, some eyes will be open.  InshaAllah.

Letter to Julia 20140522

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beloved Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling, my dearest wives?  How are those precious emotions?  Of course I want to be with you, my beloved heart.  I love you, I love you with all my heart.  So please be patient, please don't be sad.  I want to be with you, I want us to be together, always.  I need you, I need you.

Lonely people love cats, and I'm lonely without you.  It has been all Kitten TV here for me, that I've been neglecting my own TV station.  I love kittens.  I wish you were here with me, and we would snuggle, have a pizza, and watch Kitten TV with me.  I could sit for hours and ponder on the blind little kittens wrestiling with each other for the "Preferred Nipple".  I had always intended to move the little darlings inside, but it was to my convenience that Floofy gave birth outside.  It was perfect timing when I moved them inside, because the rain began to pour buckets that night.  Poor little Floofy.  She's an indoors cat now, she can't raise her kittens in that cage, even though it's sheltered and only a door away.  So the nest is now in my kitchen, and I spend my cooking and meal times watching the babies sleep. Alhamdulillah.

Letter to Julia 20140520

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Well, it looks like it's going to be cat tails for a while.  Let's start with Chee Cheah.  Monday morning, and I was preparing to take her to the vet for her antifungal shot.  I usually let her out of the house right at the dawn prayer, but this time I didn't.  The vet opens at 8:30am, so I take my time, and whip up breakfast then take a shower.  Then the cat starts screaming and limping.  I get freaked out and think she broke her leg of course, but it's still an hour before the vet.  So I coop her in her travel basket, and try to take a short nap.  At the vet, he says there's nothing wrong with her.  So either she's throwing a tantrum about going to the vet, or she's jealous over the kittens, or she's a hypochondriac.  Great.

I've been keeping Floofy and her kittens in a little cupboard, in the cage where I store my motorcycle at night.  Which is safe from animals the size of a cat or larger, but not from snakes and mice, and not from the wet and the cold.  Indoors is better, InshaAllah.  So I place her and the kittens in a large box while I move the little cupboard indoors.  But the young mother rejected what I chose for her, and started to move her brood.  Eventually she chose the crevice under my stove top where I put my LPG cylinder.  So I had to move the cylinder, and make a bed for Floofy and her kittens right in the middle of my kitchen.  Great.

I don't think you would tolerate such a situation, but you're not here.  The kittens are awfully cute, though.  I think the white kitten will grow up to be a calico like her mother, but whiter with a short tail.  Her name is Hepzibah.  Then there's the black and white Bat Cat clone, which is awesome because Bat Cat isn't the father.  His name is Bat Cat.  Floofy's first choice kitten, the first kitten she chose to move, looks kind of like the father except he has a straight tail, and he's a darker kitty.  His name is Bob Cat.  The father is a slender grey cat with long legs, and stripes on the legs.  He hangs around the homestead at all times.  I don't have a name for him: he's not my cat.  I don't know how Chee Cheah will react to the new living arrangements.  I need to get used to it myself.  Right now, she's moping over at Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  Ya Allah, please protect and heal all my kitties.

Of course you are my wives inshaAllah, and I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.  Please join me in Islam.  Please maintain your prayers, and don't forget to enjoy all sorts of food while keeping to the rules.  God must be the most underestimated Being ever.  But who really cares about the skeptics?  Allah has put you at the top of the world, as per our marriage.  InshaAllah, we will have security and happiness in this life as well as the Hereafter.

Letter to Julia 20140518

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I'm sorry my dearest wives, but yesterday was the king's birthday, so it was a public holiday.  I didn't think the Internet cafe I always go to would be closed, though.  Gah!  As you know, I always plan my letters, and I don't like to write them live, and this is the only place in town that takes my USB drive.  Gah again!  In the meanwhile, Floofy gave birth to 3 beautiful kittens!  Aw!  They are so tiny!  They are a quiet bunch for some reason, but very energetic, and always squirming about.  Subhanallah!  Alhamdulillah!  Lailahaillallah!  Allahuakbar!  I love kittens!  One is a dark calico, almost like a dark tiger type.  One is a carbon copy of my Batty Watty Bat cat!  Strange that Bat Cat isn't the father.  The last is a white kitten with small blonde and black patches.  I'm going to name them Bat Cat, the white one Hepzibah, and I don't know what to name the striped one yet.  Ya Allah, please protect my kitties.  Ya Allah, please protect my Julia and Erin.  I love them, and I need them.

Qur'an 20140518

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

101.  When We substitute one revelation for another, and Allah knows best what God reveals, they say, "You are a forger," but most of them understand not.

102.  Say, "The Holy Spirit has brought the revelation from your Lord in Truth, in order to strengthen those who believe, and as a Guide and Glad Tidings to Muslims."

103.  We know indeed that they say, "It is a man who teaches him."  The tongue of him they wickedly point to is notably foreign, while this is Arabic, pure and clear.

104.  Those who believe not in the Signs of Allah, Allah will not guide them, and theirs will be a grievous penalty.

105.  It is those who believe not in the Signs of Allah that forge falsehood, it is they who lie!

The Bees 16:101-105
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The Holy Spirit has brought the revelation from your Lord in Truth, in order to strengthen those who believe, and as a Guide and Glad Tidings to Muslims.

Letter to Julia 20140517

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Floofy is beginning to scrape around, looking for a place to put her kittens.  She was scraping about the corner of my bedroom, but I told her she can't put her kittens there.  Kittens may be cute and all, but their poop can still give out a frightful pong, which would keep me awake at night.  Besides, I don't sleep with cats.  I got Floofy a little cupboard to put her kittens in, and she has been scraping around in there, but I'm going to have to move them all inside after she gives birth.  I told Floofy that she and her kittens are welcome in my house, but she has to eat and poop outside, in her cage.  I guess I have no choice but to clean up after the babies.  She said, "Meow".  Typical of a cat to give an esoteric answer to everything.  Floofy is actually my first pregnant kitty.  I've known many a cat, but Floofy is my first pregnant kitty.  Ya Allah, please grant us beautiful, happy, and healthy kittens.

For dinner, it was pizza.  Yeah, I've started to make pizza again after a 6 year hiatus.  The difference, besides cheese, to making a great pizza is the oven.  A professional pizza oven is pre-heated to 500F, and has a concrete slate in it to cook the bottom.  So at home, I cook the crust first.  And since my teeny electric oven doesn't go to 500F, I have to put aside more time to cook the food.  I cook the bottom first on the stove top, on a flat pan.  Then I sauce it, and cook the crust without cheese.  On the menu tonight is sardine and cashew pizza.  I've been making perfect sardine dip lately, so I used it as pizza sauce.  And cashews taste like pineapple on pizza.  After all that is done, I finally put the cheese, and bake it long enough to just melt the cheese.  What to do, all I only have generic sliced cheese.  But the pizza is good.  I enjoyed it with my Mom's home made hot sauce, locally known as sambal belacan.  Tip to locals: sambal belacan is a perfect match with melted cheese.  Want some? 

I love you, I love you.  And of course, I need you, I need you.  You are my wives, inshaAllah.  The promise I made to you is for us, and not for my own personal gain.  What is being built here, this Casa de Julia in the name of Allah, is being built by us: me here, you in your far away, with Allah as our Helper and Protector.  Do not weaken our oath to each other and to Allah by way of deception.  What is with Allah is far superior than anything you can imagine or desire.