Sunday, June 28, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150629

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin, my darling!  How is the most beautiful girl in the world feeling today?  You are MY girl, so you are the most beautiful girl in the world to me.  Sweetheart!  I love you, and I need you.

It's almost time to break fast, so I am sitting here waiting, and writing to you.  I made a batch of dough yesterday, so I'm having a couple of deep fried stuffed pizzas for dinner.  I have a lot more sausage left, but I'm out of marinara sauce.  So tomorrow I'll have to make a new batch.  I think I'll make a batch of mayo too.  For the predawn meal, I'm going to finish off all that squid.  I've been so thirsty lately, and craving soda pop, so tonight I'm going to do a lot of drinking.  Soda.

I'm having a lot of trouble getting these games on Google apps to install.  It says "Installed" on the page, but it's not installed.  No data flow, no data storage, nothing.  I suppose they don't want me to have these games.  They installed all the productivity apps I wanted, but no games.  I guess they just want me to work, work, work.  How about they come over here and do house cleaning for me?  Then I would have more time and motivation to do computer productivity.  Wait a minute- it IS my work to evaluate games!  Could it be there is an underground bidding war for my endorsement?

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150628

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It's been about 8 years since I took a selfie, so I thought I would give it a shot today.  I took one shot.... no.  2... 3... 4... 5... 6.... Aaaaa!  Delete!  Delete!  I compared how I look now to when I took selfies over 8 years ago.  Aaaaa!  Delete!  Delete!  I suppose that it's a good thing that it's OK for a man to be butt ugly.  Wah!  I wanna be pretty too!  Pretty like you.

Little ------- is pretty, too.  She doesn't even have to try, she's a beautiful cat.  With big, green eyes and a charming snout.  But she's so aggressive.  Lately her obnoxiousness reached new heights, pointing her pee at any slightly wet spot on the floor, then bolting off at top speed.  I can't even make the slightest mistake, to spill even a small drop of water on the floor.  Even her mother has been chasing her around lately.  It's funny to watch, though.  Then it dawned on me that she is finally going in heat.  She has always been quiet about how she feels, besides basic greed that is.  So I paid her some attention and petted her (after she made me chase her down), and she went into the motions of a cat in heat.  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  And now she won't stop.    Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Hmmm!  Aggressive female.

I didn't go to the mosque tonight for the additional prayer because I needed a break.  I went to the market this morning and bought a kilo of clams.  The first thing I do when I buy clams lately is to separate the meat from the broth, and that has to be done immediately before the clams die.  Dinner was excellent tonight.  Thank You o Allah, for the knowledge and the bounty that You have provided for me.  I battered the clam meat and crispy fried that.  Then to the broth I added fried basil and garlic, and a brick of ramen noodles.  My Mom gave me some watermelon, and I had iced tea.  Everything was superb.  Alhamdulillah.  I was stuffed tonight.  You are always welcome to share my dinner.  Please get plenty of rest, and eat properly.  Erin, my beautiful wife.  I love you, and I need you.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150627

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin Sweetie!  How are you feeling today?  I want you to keep yourself healthy and fit, and no more plastic surgery because you don't need it.  You are so beautiful.  Even though it's lonely at the top, please know that I have promised to marry you, and I will keep my promise inshaAllah.  You can always call me whenever you want, you know where I am.  I call you everyday.  Because I love you, and I need you.

------- is such a greedy girl.  If she's not sleeping, then she wants something.  I tell her that I don't want her to bloat like her mother, but that just makes her more aggressive.  It must be all that energy she has: she's always bouncing off the walls.  Hey, clawing me is not going to speed up feeding time!  4 o'clock!

"Everybody gets lonely," someone once told me.  I'm watching this documentary about Real Doll right now, I think it might entertain you.  At the very least, it will creep you out.  Who gets real love?  Truly a blessing, isn't it?  It's a sacred thing, really.  No, I don't have a Real Doll.  Sheesh.


Thursday, June 25, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150626

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, Erin dahlink.  How are you feeling today?  I pray you are feeling healthy and confident, and having a great time.  Now that you're a movie star, please get plenty of rest and maintain your prayers.  Be alert, and don't fall into any "reality" traps.  And please try not to party, OK?  I will do my share of work over here to make sure you are the most feminine movie star ever: I'll make all those other girls look like men inshaAllah.  Please forgive me if I make mistakes, but I assure you with Allah as my witness that I am faithful and faithful to you.  You have my devotion so long as you respect our Islamic marriage inshaAllah.


People think that because it's always Sunday for me, that I'm always on holiday.  Actually, it's the opposite: I'm always working.  And on Fridays, I have to attend Friday prayer.  Today I started to chop down the big tree that's growing on your house.  It's a big tree, Erin.  The roots are all over in the house, and even growing on glass.  Incredible.  But very aesthetic, somehow.  Anyway, I still haven't prepared my food for breaking fast.  Nothing complicated: I have sliced bread, and I'm going to eat the "rendang" my Mom made.  I have a few curry puffs as well.  So I'm going to start cooking.  I want you to be cautious and make sure no harm comes to you or your precious body.  I love you, and I need you.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150625

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Precious!  Keeping busy?  I try to keep busy during Ramadan, and avoid being a vegetable all month even though I have the ardent desire to just lie in one place and bloat.  So much for desire.  So I cut the grass over at your house inshaAllah.  If you have observed the foundation of the old house there, you would notice that there is a giant tree growing on the roof.  The tree is actually rooted into the ground, and growing over a bathroom.  It's going to take some work and I have a lot of other stuff to do, but I think I can get most of that tree down by myself inshaAllah.  I do have an idea, though: if the root can be killed off somehow and the top of the tree chopped off, that root system could make a cool decoration, because some of those roots are inside the house as well.  Kind of like a Hobbit house.  But we can paint those roots pink.

I've been looking for games for my cell phone.  There's a lot of stuff out there, and I don't want to install and uninstall over and over again.  What kind of games do you like?  Aw come on, there must be some video games you like.  A basketball game?  Oh.

Well, I pray you getting plenty of rest.  My schedule is shifted around somewhat, but I do so enjoy the fasting month.  My body is getting used to the fasting, and I've regained my strength inshaAllah.  But I'm still so very lazy.  **yawn** I have chili for breaking fast today.  Quick and easy.  I'd invite you over, but it's just chili.  Erin, you are the most beautiful girl in the world to me.  I love you, and I need you.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150624

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you feeling today, my love?  Something tells me you are quite busy at this time.  Doing a movie?  I just put some movies into my cell phone.  Also some comics and other readings, too.  A cell phone makes quite a handy portable computer.  Equivalent to a laptop 15 years ago, but with a better display.  I haven't found any good games yet.  You know the battery life sucks for cell phones.  I found that the battery life in my phone is the same whether or not the screen is active.  Don't you think that's odd?

I woke up at 1:30 am for the pre dawn meal.  Oh no, that's too early!  Up all night, sleep all day!  So I did some encoding, I cleaned my bathroom and reservoir and watched TV before doing any cooking.  Nothing fancy, just some rice gruel from the mosque, jazzed up a little with Thai spices.  Nothing fancy this coming morning either.  I have a lot of squid, so I'm going to make fried calamari.  A LOT of it inshaAllah.  I have 3 dipping sauces: marinara sauce, my home made hot sauce, and my Mom's hot red pepper sauce.  Would you care to join me?  I promise you it will be yummy!  I love you Erin.  And I need you.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Letter to Erin 20150623

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Erin, my beloved.  How are you feeling today?  I pray you are feeling great, for I miss you so.  Ah, I want to be married to you.  It started off kind of sluggish for me today, so I didn't do much in the morning except take my Dad's motorcycle to the car wash.  I had to grind through voice training.  Let me repeat myself that singing WELL for 2 hours straight while fasting is very difficult.  I just wanted to sleep after the Asr prayer, but I shook it off and cut grass instead.  EEEAAARRRGGGHHH!!!  Fight!  Fight!  Fight!  But it's usually smooth sailing after the Asr prayer.

I just got done preparing dinner, and now I'm just waiting to break my fast.  This evening it's fried rice.  I make an OK fried rice, inshaAllah.  Not very often because I don't eat rice all that often.  Today it's rice and garlic, onions, bamboo shoots, chives, cilantro, salt radish, dried onion, egg, crab to be eaten with my Mom's rendang (beef in a lemongrass fry), and hot pepper sauce.  Well, I haven't eaten it yet.  I'm still waiting to break fast.  I went to the crossroads to buy a drink.  There's always a gang of merchants there in the evening during fasting month.  Would you care to join me for dinner?  I love you, and I need you.