In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Oh Julia, my dearest heart. How are you feeling today? I pray you are healthy and confident. I'm feeling so drained today. I'm so tired. My feet are lemons. Sorry, no kickboxing matches between us today.
I need to remind everyone that I am not a prophet. I'm not an angel. I've wandered far before I found Allah, and I have a BAD reputation. And now I'm can only try my best to please Allah. If the people need a role model, then they should emulate prophet Muhammad (peace be on him). If they need someOne to worship, then they should worship Allah. I am merely a rock star. You are a supermodel. You are my wife, inshaAllah.
Please understand and remember that perfect happiness is impossible in this life. Perfection is a reward in the next life. But if we work and have faith, perhaps Allah will grant us an easy and happy life, then a place together in heaven. You are my girl Julia, and I love you.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Letter to Julia 20130316
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Gah! It never fails: all it takes is for Bat Cat to not be at home for one night, and the mice know he's not here and start coming to the house. Then I have to chase them with a stick and personally whomp them. Chee Cheah is a useless mouser. She doesn't even stir from her slumber, even though I make a lot of noise chasing the mice. What to do? Bat Cat is a male kampung cat, and he has to wander around the kampung until he gets his fill. But I love my cats. Ya Allah, please protect and heal Chee Cheah and Bat Cat, and give them long, happy lives.
Certainly it is difficult to get a TV show started, then maintain it. Even with a magnificent situation like this, right between East and West in a polyglot country, and Islam. There is much work that needs to be done. Not just to get the location studio organized, staffed and financed, but to research and negotiate the guests, products and services to be plugged on the show, then create the timetable, then promotion. It is not my place to do all that, and not just because I'm lazy and refuse to travel. I'm also ignorant.
InshaAllah, what I need is a desk just like Johnny Carson's, with a computer on the desk so I can Google it up if I don't know who the hell my guest is and what he/she is trying to sell. Or the producer can just IM me. I'm also very fussy about vocal quality for live performances and recordings. I don't want my voice to be equalized (or EQ'd) whether it be on the mains or monitors, I like to stay on the edge of feedback (feedback is a musical instrument, did you know that?), and I don't like to use a windscreen for my SM57. I will be a f***ing diva if the sound engineer doesn't conform to my demands.
Then of course, I want you to work with me. To sit beside me. To handle the sports figures and the fashion elements while I sip my coffee or tea. But we have to be properly married first. I love you, Julia.
Gah! It never fails: all it takes is for Bat Cat to not be at home for one night, and the mice know he's not here and start coming to the house. Then I have to chase them with a stick and personally whomp them. Chee Cheah is a useless mouser. She doesn't even stir from her slumber, even though I make a lot of noise chasing the mice. What to do? Bat Cat is a male kampung cat, and he has to wander around the kampung until he gets his fill. But I love my cats. Ya Allah, please protect and heal Chee Cheah and Bat Cat, and give them long, happy lives.
Certainly it is difficult to get a TV show started, then maintain it. Even with a magnificent situation like this, right between East and West in a polyglot country, and Islam. There is much work that needs to be done. Not just to get the location studio organized, staffed and financed, but to research and negotiate the guests, products and services to be plugged on the show, then create the timetable, then promotion. It is not my place to do all that, and not just because I'm lazy and refuse to travel. I'm also ignorant.
InshaAllah, what I need is a desk just like Johnny Carson's, with a computer on the desk so I can Google it up if I don't know who the hell my guest is and what he/she is trying to sell. Or the producer can just IM me. I'm also very fussy about vocal quality for live performances and recordings. I don't want my voice to be equalized (or EQ'd) whether it be on the mains or monitors, I like to stay on the edge of feedback (feedback is a musical instrument, did you know that?), and I don't like to use a windscreen for my SM57. I will be a f***ing diva if the sound engineer doesn't conform to my demands.
Then of course, I want you to work with me. To sit beside me. To handle the sports figures and the fashion elements while I sip my coffee or tea. But we have to be properly married first. I love you, Julia.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Letter to Julia 20130313
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
I grilled a fish yesterday. Oh, it's not a big deal: they were selling those huge hardtail scads at the night market on Monday, so I always get one whenever I can. They don't show up at the market in that size all that often, so I buy one whenever they do. But the process of grilling a fish is sooo involved, and time consuming. I had to get the stuffing done the night before, otherwise I wouldn't be able to eat the fish until after the afternoon prayer the next day. So, I had the peel 2 coconuts, take them to be grated, borrow my Mom's blender to blend the grated coconut, then cook up the stuffing, which had onions, garlic, lemongrass, and chilli paste. While that was cooking, I gutted and filleted the fish from the inside without breaking the skin, so I could stuff the fish like a sausage. I put them in the cooler for the next day. The next day, I had to buy more charcoal, and I stopped by the day market to buy some beef for steak at the same time. There were a couple of ingredients I forgot yesterday like limes and cilantro, so I picked those up as well.
It seems like almost a religious experience grilling my fish, huh? Praise Allah! A costly one at that, and just for one fish. When I was grilling it, the atmosphere became silent: my parents stayed quietly in their bedroom, and there wasn't a cat or a bird in sight. There were only a couple of ants running around at top speed. Oh, the fish tasted good. You want some? I have some leftover in the cooler. Tastes better hot. Next, I have to do some ironing. Oh Julia, I HATE ironing! Can I please go to work in an unironed shirt? Please?
I grilled a fish yesterday. Oh, it's not a big deal: they were selling those huge hardtail scads at the night market on Monday, so I always get one whenever I can. They don't show up at the market in that size all that often, so I buy one whenever they do. But the process of grilling a fish is sooo involved, and time consuming. I had to get the stuffing done the night before, otherwise I wouldn't be able to eat the fish until after the afternoon prayer the next day. So, I had the peel 2 coconuts, take them to be grated, borrow my Mom's blender to blend the grated coconut, then cook up the stuffing, which had onions, garlic, lemongrass, and chilli paste. While that was cooking, I gutted and filleted the fish from the inside without breaking the skin, so I could stuff the fish like a sausage. I put them in the cooler for the next day. The next day, I had to buy more charcoal, and I stopped by the day market to buy some beef for steak at the same time. There were a couple of ingredients I forgot yesterday like limes and cilantro, so I picked those up as well.
It seems like almost a religious experience grilling my fish, huh? Praise Allah! A costly one at that, and just for one fish. When I was grilling it, the atmosphere became silent: my parents stayed quietly in their bedroom, and there wasn't a cat or a bird in sight. There were only a couple of ants running around at top speed. Oh, the fish tasted good. You want some? I have some leftover in the cooler. Tastes better hot. Next, I have to do some ironing. Oh Julia, I HATE ironing! Can I please go to work in an unironed shirt? Please?
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Letter to Julia 20130311
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hello Julia, my dearest heart. How are you feeling today? You are my love, you are my girl, and I love you with all my heart. I feel so sad without you. I am not so strong. No, I am not strong at all. I'm just a weak little girly-girl lesbian who longs for her girly-girl. It's getting to the point where I think I have lost all my libido, for all I want is you. It's not life at all without you here with me. Perhaps I've become so broken hearted, that I'm going to need a lot of drugs to ever have lust again. Or maybe I'm just old, and I need a lot of drugs. Oh, I'm such a weak and lonely person without my Julia.
Hello Julia, my dearest heart. How are you feeling today? You are my love, you are my girl, and I love you with all my heart. I feel so sad without you. I am not so strong. No, I am not strong at all. I'm just a weak little girly-girl lesbian who longs for her girly-girl. It's getting to the point where I think I have lost all my libido, for all I want is you. It's not life at all without you here with me. Perhaps I've become so broken hearted, that I'm going to need a lot of drugs to ever have lust again. Or maybe I'm just old, and I need a lot of drugs. Oh, I'm such a weak and lonely person without my Julia.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Letter to Julia 20130309
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hi Julia! I love you. You are my girl. I spent too much time standing around cutting grass yesterday, so I'm paying for it today. Ouch! I guess old people talk about aches and pains a lot. Well, I just want to lie on the floor, and watch TV.
My bedroom is being invaded by little black beetles. They don't bite or anything, but they're always there: whenever I clean them up, a new batch replaces them. The beetles!
Hi Julia! I love you. You are my girl. I spent too much time standing around cutting grass yesterday, so I'm paying for it today. Ouch! I guess old people talk about aches and pains a lot. Well, I just want to lie on the floor, and watch TV.
My bedroom is being invaded by little black beetles. They don't bite or anything, but they're always there: whenever I clean them up, a new batch replaces them. The beetles!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Letter to Julia 20130307
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Oh Julia, I ate your chicken wrap again since you didn't show up for dinner. Yeah, it's been chicken wrap a lot this past week, because I have a lot of chicken breast in the cooler, and a whole bunch of dough that I made mixed with spiced breadcrumbs and oil (leftover fried chicken crust) with diced onions. It makes awesome tortillas! This time instead of mayo, I made some eggplant sauce. Yummy! Want one? Oh, I'm sorry: I already ate yours.
Heh! The Brits want me to do a TV show! I'm afraid I don't have the teeth for TV, and I don't want to get the teeth either. It would ruin my singing. And even if I did have the teeth, I'm just too damn lazy to do all the work needed to maintain a TV show. I don't want to travel, and I don't want to do a TV show that annoys Allah. But you know, a talk/variety show in English, set in exotic Perlis to be simulcast in Britain and Malaysia, then syndicated worldwide, could be very profitable. There could be music, a fashion section, a food section, I could sing instead of do a monologue, we could do a little bit of science, health, and Islam, with a little bit of heavy guitars... **yawn** I think I'll just veg out and watch TV.
You do remember our goal, my love? Our goal is to slow down, and be with each other always, and enjoy our love, lives and family together, insyaAllah. No amount of money can save our marriage if we're always traveling and apart. The parrot won't sing if he's not content!
Oh Julia, I ate your chicken wrap again since you didn't show up for dinner. Yeah, it's been chicken wrap a lot this past week, because I have a lot of chicken breast in the cooler, and a whole bunch of dough that I made mixed with spiced breadcrumbs and oil (leftover fried chicken crust) with diced onions. It makes awesome tortillas! This time instead of mayo, I made some eggplant sauce. Yummy! Want one? Oh, I'm sorry: I already ate yours.
Heh! The Brits want me to do a TV show! I'm afraid I don't have the teeth for TV, and I don't want to get the teeth either. It would ruin my singing. And even if I did have the teeth, I'm just too damn lazy to do all the work needed to maintain a TV show. I don't want to travel, and I don't want to do a TV show that annoys Allah. But you know, a talk/variety show in English, set in exotic Perlis to be simulcast in Britain and Malaysia, then syndicated worldwide, could be very profitable. There could be music, a fashion section, a food section, I could sing instead of do a monologue, we could do a little bit of science, health, and Islam, with a little bit of heavy guitars... **yawn** I think I'll just veg out and watch TV.
You do remember our goal, my love? Our goal is to slow down, and be with each other always, and enjoy our love, lives and family together, insyaAllah. No amount of money can save our marriage if we're always traveling and apart. The parrot won't sing if he's not content!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Letter to Julia 20130305
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Oh Julia, I ate your chicken wrap since you didn't show up for dinner last night. I hope you don't mind. The home made bread turned out much better this time, since I cooked it more. I found some butter lettuce and tomatoes at the night market, and cooked up some chicken breast. Alhamdulillah.
Ah, the past. You are my future, and I can only wait for Allah to allow me you, so I think a lot about the past. It's amazing what a small child can recall. Do you remember much about your life when you were 4 years old? That would be 1988, right? I was browsing YouTube by year, and I came across the very first song I could remember, it was sung by a chick singer, and I had totally forgotten about it. Strange, one would think that a musician would remember the first musical influences, but this song had completely slipped away from my heart until a few days ago. "Puff the magic dragon" was the 2nd song to come into my memory, "Close to you" by the Carpenters was the 3rd, and "The circle game" by Joni Mitchell was the 4th. The first song I remember is Cilla Black's version of "Goin' out of my head". I don't normally blab about my heart and mind in this public situation, but I think that it would be important for musicians to know that the most important musical influences stay in hiding to show up later as wisdom, and when they least expect it, to coincide with contemporary events. Of course, Allah gets the credit and the glory.
Cilla Black has an elementary school teacher look about her, but she is an awesome singer. She has a sort of overdrive in her voice, which is graduated like a volume knob as opposed to a switch, and she can get LOUD. In this 1969 performance, it seems that she flubbed the words at the end of the song, or did she? It doesn't matter, she is a grand singer. I couldn't help but cry when I heard this song again. I can't explain why.
Oh Julia, I ate your chicken wrap since you didn't show up for dinner last night. I hope you don't mind. The home made bread turned out much better this time, since I cooked it more. I found some butter lettuce and tomatoes at the night market, and cooked up some chicken breast. Alhamdulillah.
Ah, the past. You are my future, and I can only wait for Allah to allow me you, so I think a lot about the past. It's amazing what a small child can recall. Do you remember much about your life when you were 4 years old? That would be 1988, right? I was browsing YouTube by year, and I came across the very first song I could remember, it was sung by a chick singer, and I had totally forgotten about it. Strange, one would think that a musician would remember the first musical influences, but this song had completely slipped away from my heart until a few days ago. "Puff the magic dragon" was the 2nd song to come into my memory, "Close to you" by the Carpenters was the 3rd, and "The circle game" by Joni Mitchell was the 4th. The first song I remember is Cilla Black's version of "Goin' out of my head". I don't normally blab about my heart and mind in this public situation, but I think that it would be important for musicians to know that the most important musical influences stay in hiding to show up later as wisdom, and when they least expect it, to coincide with contemporary events. Of course, Allah gets the credit and the glory.
Cilla Black has an elementary school teacher look about her, but she is an awesome singer. She has a sort of overdrive in her voice, which is graduated like a volume knob as opposed to a switch, and she can get LOUD. In this 1969 performance, it seems that she flubbed the words at the end of the song, or did she? It doesn't matter, she is a grand singer. I couldn't help but cry when I heard this song again. I can't explain why.
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