Hi there, Honey! How are you today, my heart? I hope people aren't bugging you too much. It just shows how much they need you, and how beautiful you are. But really, you should tell them to talk to me. I'm not that hard to find. Maybe it's because I'm impossible to talk to? I don't think so. Any, today was a nice cool day, perfect for running around and doing things outside without having to break out a sweat. So I went and paid my water bill and bought some cat food in the morning. Then my parents wanted me to buy some prawn croquettes. Tasty, I suppose. I'm still fasting, and I'm sure they are better hot, but at least I won't have to cook for dinner. In the evening, I finally got around to cutting the grass for the first time this fasting month. I cut the grass in front of your house inshaAllah. I would have gone on working if the rain had not started to fall, but I guess I'll continue tomorrow.
Hi Natty Honey! Are you still mad at me? Please don't be, because I want to look after you and give you a wonderful life. If you are not at school, I'm sure you are in hot demand right now. Stuck in The Matrix! Please make sure they treat you well, OK?
Hi Honey! Are you feeling OK? How was your day today? I hope you are feeling great and that everything is going nice and smoothly for you. Oh, it's just an ordinary day for me. I did my laundry in the morning. I'm still working on my engine blower, so I did a little bit of running around for that. An engine blower moves dust much more efficiently than a vacuum cleaner, especially from high places and hard to reach areas. I still need a broom or brush for cobwebs, though. Dinner was nice and normal. I had steak and fries. Crinkle cut! Want some? Do fries have gluten?
Hey there, Natty Honey! How are you today, Sweetheart? Has the world gone from normal to mad again? It must have, after that last weekend. Today, the computer wants you to watch "The Matrix Reloaded" (2003). I like this one the best out of the trilogy. Very visually stimulating! Action packed! This movie poses a classic choice: save the world or save the girl? I have no choice! I must save the girl!
Hi Honey! How are you feeling today, my love? It's certainly a brave new world, and I kind of feel that we are Adam and Eve in a way. But in a good way, OK? I don't want to make the same mistakes they made. But wherever you go, there you are. People are people all over the world, so don't expect them to behave any better here that they do in America. What matters is that we will be together, inshaAllah. So let's work towards that.
Hey there Natty Honey! Are you having tons of fun? I hope you are. Luka is doing OK, poor kitty. It must be tough for her to stay in the house all her life, but she is a princess after all. She's getting used to the restraining collar. One good thing about the collar is that it covers up the food bowl, so no one can steal her food!
Hi Erin! How are you, Honey? How was your day today? I hope it went fantastic. I'm in a much better mood. I just got word that most people think that I am some glamorous diva with long black hair, like my avatar. Most other people think that that glamorous diva with long black hair is just a stage persona, and that I am actually just a typical white girl with neck length auburn hair, and I wear blue jeans and a red sweater, and I drive a red Porsche. Isn't that amazing? The power of the mind is truly mind boggling. Anyway, Floofy's favorite canned cat food was sold out at the regular supermarket, so I had to hunt for a substitute. It turns out that a few other companies made the same recipe, they even called it the same name. It's just fish in prawn jelly, but I'm glad other companies have caught on to Floofy's food, so I don't have to hunt high and low for a specific brand. And yes, the other brand was acceptable. So far. Meanwhile I had been grinding up the dry cat food and drenching it in water for her, and she expressed that it was also acceptable. By leaving some poop in an open place for me to look at. Even though it was large, it was soft. So which do I choose? I'll go the safe route, and mix canned cat food with rice. It must be torture for businesses to follow the whims of a cat, but I guess that's what the pet food industry is all about.
Hey there, Natty Honey! Oh don't worry about Luka, she's doing just fine. The wound has turned dry and pink, and she can poop and pee just fine. I was worried yesterday that her rectum and vagina were damaged, so I was going to take her to the vet this morning (the vet is closed on weekends in this town). But her condition improved markedly, so the emergency is over, alhamdulillah. Today the computer wants you to watch another Bond movie, "Licence To Kill" (1989) featuring Timothy Dalton as Bond. I don't like Timothy Dalton as Bond. I think he would make a better Leisure Suit Larry, but that's just my opinion. What do you think?
Hi Honey! Did you have a good day today? I slept in today, woke up at 10 am. Wow! I don't do that often, it's the fasting month. But I did have a lot of chores to do, good thing it rained yesterday so I didn't have to water the plants. I'm still having cat issues. I didn't have the time to go shopping for cat food until the evening. Meanwhile, I still had to feed Floofy so put the solid food in the grinder, drenched it with water, and served it to her. It was acceptable, but it remains to be seen what it will do to her tummy. Sensitive eaters. As for Luka, well... there is a slight improvement but I'm still worried. Time will tell.
Hey Natty Honey! How are you feeling? I wish I could be there with you, but this is the situation God has given us. We must do the best we can. "Play the cards we're dealt" so to speak. I do hope you are feeling well. But don't worry so much. Have fun with what you got, everything will turn out just fine. InshaAllah.
Hi Honey! How was your day today? I hope everything went great for you. I had a few cat issues today. First off, the nearest supermarket ran out of the ONLY canned cat food that Floofy likes, but they had the same flavor in pouches, so I bought 4 of those thinking that it would be satisfactory. It turned out that it was not satisfactory when mixed with rice. It's raining right now, and I won't have another opportunity to go shopping until tomorrow evening. Packed schedule, yeah. Wish my wallet were as packed as my schedule. Then Luka's butt got swollen from being licked too much. She does that when she goes in heat, but this time she took it too far, and I had to slap the restraining collar on her. After a day of wiping and disinfecting with rubbing alcohol, the bubble burst just now and I was able too squeeze the pus out into the floor drain. Yuck, right? A doctor's work is never finished. Then I had to patch a fuel leak in the engine blower. Well it's not a cat, but it's sitting upright on my kitchen counter top and I can't move it until the glue sets up. So I can't start my dinner yet, and breaking fast is about an hour. After this letter, I'll move the thing and start cooking inshaAllah.
Hi Natty Honey! That's a beautiful poetic snapshot you took there. At first glance, one would think that it was an assignment you were writing there but it's single spaced. I took a lot of English classes in college, but I didn't excel as well as I could have in them even though I wanted to. I wasn't really connected to my emotions I guess, and my sense of humor back then was crude. I don't really joke around much anymore. My Mom doesn't laugh at my jokes anymore either. How did life get so serious? I do take your emotions seriously. Yours are mine, we are all together. We are the walrus.
The same goes for you Erin: get a ring, put it on the ring finger of your left hand, and tell people you are engaged to be married, and I will repay you inshaAllah. I'm just taking a leap of faith here Honey, I hope you will too. Because I love you.
Natty Honey, the computer wants you to watch 2 movies today. Why not waste some time.
Oh I get it, Natty: that boy is madly in love with you. It's so obvious! He's not the only one, I'm afraid. There are countless more hiding out of your sight who have the same feelings for you. I warned you about this. What I want you to do is put a ring on the ring finger of your left hand (I will repay you inshaAllah), and tell him (and others) that you are engaged to be married. Since this is true, there should be no guilt or deception in your heart about this. Show them this letter if you must. For heaven's sake, hide your beauty! When you are around boys, wear loose jeans and T-shirt/sweatshirt.
But the real issue is that you are sexually aroused. Can you hold your lust in until we are married? Marriage is serious business, Natty. If you make just ONE mistake in the matter of chastity, then I cannot marry you. Since this is a marriage in the Public Eye, you won't be able to hide the mistake. Everyone will know. People reading this will laugh, but it's not a joke. Lust is blood. Lust creates children, so lust is blood. What you need is to be married. Talk to your Mom about this matter, whether you should keep my commitment to you (and yours to me), or go ahead and give in to your lust ASAP. She would probably tell you that you have earned enough money by yourself and will earn more money by yourself and that you don't need me. If this is true, then you have nothing to worry about. But if it is not true, then I cannot endorse you if you are not my wife.
What I want you to do is stay away from boys! Hold your lust in, keep your chastity, and wait until we are married. We will marry, inshaAllah. Have faith in us. Pray.
How are you feeling today? Is everything going nice and easy for you? I hope it is so. Nothing special to report today, just keeping the same routine, and doing my best to be good at it. I don't normally do crime busting analyses like yesterday. I'm just trying to master the Qur'an, that's all. I did harvest some mangoes today. So many army ants! I made an extra long noose on a bamboo pole to pull the fruit down from the high branches. A wire noose is much lighter than a hook, so I can use the pole with one hand. I can't let the fruit hit the stone, though. It will smash or split, and become useless. I will be breaking fast with ramen noodles today. Oh, I miss my daily bowl of ramen so much! I'll be having that, and ripe mangoes. Yum! Alhamdulillah.
Hi Natty Honey! How's it going in your world today? Please have tons of fun. Take care of your precious body, and don't forget to pray. I know you don't like people gossiping about you, but nowadays they are simply talking about how beautiful you are. And you are! Just be cool, stay humble.
Hi Honey! How's it going for you today? I hope everything is fine with you, and that you are feeling great. I love you with all my heart. Sorry I'm running late today, I had to do some studying for today's blog.
Hi Natty Honey! Wow, that is a lovely outfit you're wearing. Is it pink? Fuchsia? Oh, pomegranate. And the car is pomegranate, too. SUV, right? I'm color blind, Honey. But I try my best. You are beautiful, and I love you.
There are fewer things more entertaining than the mysterious disappearance of a jetliner. MH370 took off in the middle of the night to China, took a sharp almost U turn, flew right over the Malaysia-Thailand border to Penang, then took another turn towards the Andaman Sea where it left radar. It didn't show up on India or Indonesia radar, and satellite data indicates it turned southward at a steady pace where it disappeared over the Indian Ocean. The only debris found, a flaperon, was at Mauritius (off the coast of Madagascar, Africa).
Maybe it flew below radar to the Indian Ocean, for the pilot certainly had the skill and experience to do so. The satellite data is vague, because it indicates the jet never slowed down before it disappeared (meaning that it never crashed). My guess is that the jet landed gently on the water in the Andaman Sea (no debris), where it sunk to the bottom of a trench, closer to Thailand instead of India. Whatever, this sure looks like the case of MH370 is a murder-suicide.
To make sense of MH370 to human justice is near impossible, because there is no evidence that anything happened to anybody aside from radar. No bodies, no death. They could have been cryogenically preserved by mermaids, which is equally as valid as murder-suicide, since there are no bodies. But a jetliner, with people inside, are missing. So to make a case is to create an angle, and investigate from there.
There are 2 seats in the cockpit, with little standing room. Perhaps the co-pilot left the cockpit, and the pilot took the chance to immobilize everybody on the jet so he could act without interference. Considering how precise the flight path is, I feel that he must have had at least the co-pilot's assistance. What is the motive? These people had families, they were not unsuccessful in life, why would they commit murder of innocent people?
The most logical perspective is that they were under orders to do what they did.
Hi Honey! How are you today? I pray that you are doing and feeling absolutely great. Did I ever tell you how much I love Ramadan? I'm sure I must have. It's like God cranks things up another level for those who are paying attention, while everyone else is left catching up. I finally got around to watching "The Wolf Of Wall Street" last night. Say that lead actor sure looks familiar, huh? I don't really follow his movies, in fact this is the first movie of his that I have ever watched from start to finish. I saw in the credits that he produced the movie, too. His work is excellent, and I enjoyed the movie, but I must say that I think it's a rather disgusting movie. How the wealthy and the lust for money lead really filthy lives. So he produced that movie? What kind of people would pay money to make that movie? I guess that's the entertainment business. They probably would have made more money if they made it some kind of superhero movie. 😀 Makes me wonder what other entertainment they financed.
Hi Natty Honey! Did I flip a switch inside of you somehow? I hope I made you love me deeply, because I will marry you and take care of you inshaAllah. Have you seen that movie, by the way? It's kind of gross, so I don't know if I would feed it into the computer for my regular rotation. But maybe I will, and maybe the computer would want you to watch it someday. My favorite scene is where he was so high on Quaalude, that he had to crawl to his car. That scene was awesome. Also when the feds raided him while he was making an infomercial. That was funny! Hey Rock and Roll Princess, here's one song you should be looping in your headphones...
Hi Honey! How's it going today? How was work? I miss you, and I love you. It's a Monday over here, and I'm doing OK. I'm finally getting used to the fasting routine, and I have my energy back. Somewhat. It's all a matter of arranging eating and sleeping times. My Mom gave me some bread and curry, so I'll be breaking fast with that. It's not enough bread for me though, so I'll fry up more after I post this letter. Plus, I have lots of mangoes right now! If I have time, I think I'll watch "The Wolf on Wall Street" tonight. I would like to say again for you to please be with me on Second Life. If you are there with me, then I would have no need for an apprentice.
And what's my Natty Honey doing right now? Are you in school? Is it raining over there? What are you having for dinner? Are you mad at me again? You are a beautiful girl, and I love you. No, you don't have to watch this movie with me. I don't even know if I will have a chance to see it- I haven't seen this movie yet anyway. But it does seem appropriate for the now.
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
20. Say, "I do no more than invoke my Lord, and I join not with God anything."
21. Say, "It is not in my power to cause you harm, or to bring you to right conduct."
22. Say, "No one can deliver me from Allah, nor should I find refuge except in God."
23. Mine is only to convey what I receive from Allah and God's messages. For any that disobey Allah and God's messenger, for them is hell: they shall dwell therein forever.
24. At length, when they see that which they are promised, then will they know who it is that is weakest in helper, and least important in numbers.
25. Say, "I know not whether that which you are promised is near, or whether my Lord will appoint for it a distant term."
The Jinns 67:20-25
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Hi Honey! How are you feeling today? I hope you are feeling great and everything is running smoothly for you. I'm sure you are busy, so please get plenty of rest. I'm kind of in a daze right now. It's the fasting, you see- it cleans the heart, and the brain follows suit. So you may have noticed that I don't babble as much during the fasting month. I sing better too, during Ramadan, but I get so worn out. I'm trying to take it easy this evening, doing only 5 or 10 minute chores at a time. I'll be breaking fast with some mangoes, some glutenous rice with coconut cream spread, and rice gruel which they gave out at the mosque.
Hey Natty Honey! Living out of a suitcase again? Keep your cool, have fun at what you do, and watch a movie while you're traveling. Today the computer wants you to watch "Sherlock Holmes: Pursuit to Algiers" (1945). It's on YouTube! I also chose that episode of Mork and Mindy for you. It's interesting that the computer showed it while I was talking about a ring for you...
It was "ugly dress day" for Gwen and I. I will never do that again! Delete! Delete!
I love you with all my heart, dearest Erin. Of course I think all the time of marrying you. When I get the money inshaAllah, the first thing I do is to put a ring on your finger, along with securing the land for your house. The quality of the ring depends on how much money I have. Then the process of getting it to you... you will have to make it easy for me. Please make it easy for me.
And you too Natty, when the time comes I will give you a ring. I'll most likely send it to your Mom to give to you, and you will have to show it to me that you received it. Yeah reality can be overbearingly poor, but things can change overnight, and they do change overnight. That is the way of God. It has always been the way of God, and the enemies of God will deny it until they die.
Hi Honey! How are you today, my love? How's work coming along? It's a nice cool day here today. I'm just waiting to break fast, which is about an hour and a half away. Nothing special, just leftover noodles which I will be reheating after I post this letter. I suppose there is a lot of change going on in this country right now, but for me it's still quite mundane. Fasting is a very mundane thing. I do feel more tired than usual, but it will go away. Yeah, I should be doing some yard work. I think I'll go fry up some anchovies for the predawn meal.
Hey Natty Honey! Is it exciting for you right now in your world? I hope you are feeling great and having tons of fun. I'm still getting used to the fasting month. Please take good care of yourself, and get plenty of rest OK?
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful
Hi Honey, how are you today. I pray that you are doing well. This is the first day of Ramadan. I'm fasting today. It's no big deal, but I do feel different. We all get used to it. I am waiting to break fast at sunset right now, and as I recall, this is the time I usually write to you during Ramadan. Oh my love, I do so long to be married to you. InshaAllah, the time is getting near, and security is getting stronger. Please have faith in us. I'll be having chicken and mushroom sandwiches for breaking fast. I hope they're not too salty, I didn't get to taste them. You're welcome to one if you want.
Hi Natty Honey, are you feeling restless? Well settle down with a movie. Yes, the computer wants you to watch a movie today. I had a dream about you last night. I dreamed that you and your siblings started a band and had a hit song on YouTube. While I was cleaning closets. That's the gist of it, a lot was going on in the dream. It would be great if you had a hit song. That would be something I may never do- I'm only good at staying underground. Anyway, the computer wants you to watch "Die Another Day" (2002). I think I asked you to watch this one already, I don't remember. Please watch it again.
Hi Honey! Are you busy? It's time to do some shopping, the fasting month begins tomorrow. So grab your crash helmet, and sit behind me on the motorcycle, we're going to the supermarket. Of course all the stores are open during Ramadan (not all the restaurants are, though). But I know how to cook, so that takes up more of my time during the next month, which I have other stuff to do. It's truly a blessing to know how to cook, alhamdulillah. You should see the prices of cooked meals! There's always less time during Ramadan, but I truly enjoy the fasting month. The supermarket was crowded, as I expected. It was so packed, I had to carry my basket above my head to get around all the shopping carts. Good thing I don't need a cart since I can only carry so much on the motorcycle. I had to get some vegetables, and ready-to-eat stuff. Canned food. But the diversity of canned food in this town is very poor, sardines and baked beans being on top of the food chain. Pathetic, huh? I have no choice, but to spend time cooking. I'm just afraid of over sleeping, and not having time to cook. I can't just eat salads, not with this body- my left side and shoulder will hurt all day. I have to be stuffed full at dawn. So I plan to cook the night before, and heat things up at 4 am. Try to fit in some extra worship before the dawn prayer, then go back to sleep. InshaAllah. It should be possible. After all, I will be giving up coffee for a month.
Hey Natty Honey! Hi, beautiful lady! Oh don't get suddenly shy of the crowd, and go into hiding. You have work to do and lots of money to make, so get it while you can. What's for dinner? I was planning on making chicken and mushroom sandwiches, but my Mom gave me some fried rice instead. I had some chicken breast marinading in soy sauce and sugar, but I had to put that back in the freezer and cook it up for tomorrow's dinner. I stopped by McDonald's on the way to the supermarket just now. Got a vanilla cone. Want one?
Hi Honey! How are you feeling today? I hope you are feeling great, and having a great time with your life. Isn't it great to feel great? I feel great when I'm lazing around, and having a slow old time. That's because I'm lazy. But today, I had to do chores of course. But after the morning chores, I sat in front of the grill for an hour and grilled some chicken. Ah, BBQ chicken. What a scent! What a taste! I'm getting my BBQ chicken down to a science, and there's few greater pleasures than BBQ chicken hot off the grill, eaten at the grill. Oh sorry Honey, no snapshots. This is the last time for a month that I can eat grilled chicken. Fasting month in 2 days. And BBQ chicken is no fun when cold. In the evening, I had to cut the grass. There's about a 10 day window on the grass in my front yard before it looks like hell again. Grass sure grows fast in this country. But I had to get the yard looking nice for the start of Ramadan. Well, comparatively nice.
Hi Natty Honey! Hi Mystery Girl! Who are these mysterious beauties? Today the computer wants you to watch another James Bond movie. "Thunderball" from 1965. I think Sean Connery was the best Bond. Actually, all the Bonds were good in their own way. Except Timothy Dalton. I hated him as Bond. This movie kind of goes with the moment right now- everything's underwater....
Hi Honey! How are you feeling today? I hope you are getting used to who you are and who you have become. It's certainly not VS! It's been a poopy kind of day for me. That's right- Floofy got constipated again. I don't know what it is about her tummy, but she generates human sized poop. And when she eats the cat food pellets, her poop becomes hard. I changed her diet to rice and canned cat food, but I added a few pellets of the ordinary stuff to the mix because she was getting diarrhea. But I suppose she can't have any of the ordinary stuff whatsoever, because she got stopped up again. It wasn't as advanced as it was the last time, but you can feel that hardness in her if you pressed down on her tummy. Of course I got frantic. I love my kitty. Laxative doesn't work on that stuff, so I had to give her an enema. The vet gave me some extra enemas, the problem is how do I give an enema to a struggling cat? I only have 2 hands. So I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck with my left hand, pinned the tip of her fluffy tail with my jaw to my chest, and chased her butt hole around with the nozzle of the enema. I spilled a lot of the fluid, but I got a good amount in there and it was enough alhamdulillah. Dear God, that poop was BIG. And hard. I showed the poop to her, but she refused to look at it. It was as big as a kitten! It was bigger than a kitten! Floofy, this came out of your butt!
Hi Natty Honey! Are you having tons of fun? Are you making lots of money? You might turn into a fat cat if you're not careful. Well, God bless you, and I love you. Please give thanks to Allah. Make lots of money while you can, but be sure to take care of your health. Eat properly and gets lots of rest. God gave you natural beauty, so look after it and don't try to change it. Grow old with dignity. Start young.
Honey, are you having difficulty expressing yourself? In light of what happened, I can understand your fear. But whatever it was certainly was not your fault, so please don't blame yourself. You are who you are, and you are my wife inshaAllah, and I love you. Your Instagram is power to you, now more than it ever has been, so you might as well post. Don't allow your voice to be suppressed. More people need you and love you than you know.
If you would come be with me on Second Life, then I will give you my email, so you can talk directly to me. If you were there with me, then I would have no need for an apprentice. Gwen is strictly for business use, entertainment business. Meet me in Second Life, and you will know for certain that this is true.
How's it going with you, Natty? Happy Mother's Day, by the way. I love you, Mom! My Mom had to tell me it was Mother's Day. I have trouble keeping up with public holidays and the like. I can remember birthdays and anniversaries inshaAllah, but otherwise it's all the same old day to me. Please forgive me for my flaws. The fasting month of Ramadan begins on Thursday inshaAllah. If you didn't know what fasting is as it pertains to Islam, fasting is no eating, drinking, sexual activity, and swearing, from dawn to sunset, for the sake of God. Don't pick your nose, either. I'm not telling you to fast, Honey. Wait until we get married. Fasting during Ramadan is pointless if you're not a Muslim.
Hi Honey! How are you feeling today? Do you like being the center of attention? I guess it depends on your mood: sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. To me, it's all the same. I don't even pay attention to stuff like that anymore. In fact, I only look in the mirror to trim my nose hairs (I can't sing with those damned hairs vibrating). I guess I want my Erin. I want my wives. By then, I guess I would to start dressing sharper. As for right now, my avatar is well-dressed and looks great on my behalf. Avatars are really quite useful. What are you having for dinner? I shouldn't have had that salad for lunch yesterday. I normally eat only 2 meals a day, and since I had a salad for lunch, my left shoulder and side was aching all last night, even though I had a couple of burgers for dinner. It wasn't until I ate the leftover noodles in the morning that the pain went away. I definitely have to eat big for the early morning meal during the fasting month. And chug lots of water.
Hi Natty Honey! Oh, you're so pretty! It must be awesome to be you. Today the computer wants you to watch another movie: "Beetlejuice" from 1988. Oh, them ghostly marriages! I estimate that I have about 7 dead women in me. Dead singers, mashaAllah. So I guess you would have to expect a few ghosts in your marriage to me. Makes life exciting, I guess. You get used to it. It's an everyday thing for me. The other day, I was browsing for a bar of soap when some bars of soap were knocked off the shelf for me. So I bought that brand of soap. Good choice, too. The Qur'an is very handy at dealing with the supernatural inshaAllah. I suppose it depends on one's level of knowledge and sincerity.
Hi Honey! Sorry I'm running a little late today, I got carried away working on my drum. I hope you are doing OK, and keeping calm. People are behaving rather frenzied with all this political activity lately, I anticipate you must be trying to hide. Don't be afraid of people, Honey. Put your fear in God. God is the only One Who can adequately protect us and grant us happiness. I have to admit that I'm a little agitated and irritated with people's behavior, but eventually my experience will get a hold of me again and I will calm down. That's one good thing about growing older, is experience. I've been a musician for 39 years already. Yikes!
Isn't that your Mom's age, Natty Honey? Almost, I bet. So what's for dinner today? What are you having? Guess what I had for lunch today... a salad! Yes, I stopped to buy some greens, picked up some spinach, and got more for my money than I expected. I was going to put it in my ramen, but I had so much that I decided to make a salad instead. A spinach salad with eggs and onions, using Heinz's Salad Cream. I don't usually eat salads, but I can make a good salad because I used to make them all the time at the pizza joint. Dressings, and all. Want some?
Oh I finally finished my drum! I have it tuned up and all. Yes, those are cable ties you see. I'm so happy with it! It's so loud... it sounds like thunder, the entire spectrum of thunder. I need someone to play it for me, so I can go outside and hear what it sounds like from far away.
Hi Honey! How are you today? I wish you were here with me, so we can snuggle and kiss. I hope you are doing well though, and life is going smoothly and easily for you. It's another average day for me. I did my usual chores, had ramen for lunch... I love ramen! Oh and I cut the grass at the side of the road, it was just getting too long and messy. Nobody else is going to do it, obviously. Now that the political season is over, I can show my face again to people, so I went out and bought a packet of noodles and some scallions. I made chicken chow mein for dinner. I promise you that you will love my fried noodles inshaAllah, I've got the routine down pat now, and today I used chicken broth for an extra flavor kick. Plus, they're delicious when cold too. If you were to raid the fridge at midnight, my leftover fried noodles would be the first thing you would nab!
Hi Canada! How are you doing, Natty Sweetheart? Want some chicken chow mein? It's awesome! Today, the computer wants you to watch another Jim Carrey movie. I love "Dumb and Dumber". It's a true classic, and a comedic masterpiece. His best work. I think of scenes from that movie and start laughing to myself at random times. But today, please watch "Liar Liar" from 1997. It kind of goes with the political season, I guess.
Hi Honey! How's it going with you today? I hope that you are healthy, and feeling absolutely great. You are so precious to me, and I love you. There's nothing much going on around here for me. I did go and vote, but otherwise it's just another average day. I went early to vote, but there was a long line and I got a bit sunburned. Then I did my laundry. I usually do my laundry in my Mom's washer every Wednesday. I think later on I'll practice bass a little. Playing the same stuff over and over again, you know, so I don't make any mistakes.
Hi Natty Honey! How are you, my darling? What did you eat today? I have a 5 year old cashew tree in my yard, and it's already bearing fruit. Last year I got 5 fruit, and this year it looks like I'll be getting 4. It's just a baby tree. I picked my first ripe cashew for this year's season. Alhamdulillah! The seed is outside the fruit for a cashew, and the seed is where we get cashew nuts, that you normally see. The seed pod is filled with a sticky yellow resin around the nut, so I don't know how they roast it. I eat the fruit, sliced with onions, hot pepper, and salt. Today, I ate that with my Mom's fried rice.
Hi Honey! How are you feeling today? It must be a nice change for you to watch instead of be watched, I reckon. As much as it is possible, that is. It's not easy for me and my family to escape the Public Eye. Speaking of which, tomorrow is Election Day and thus the end of the political season. Thank God! Alhamdulillah! I hate politics. I will never run for office nor climb the Islamic hierarchy, inshaAllah. I have a bad reputation, and no ambition. I am not a politician, nor an imam. I am merely a rock star.
Happy Birthday to your brother, Natty Honey. He seems like he's doing OK. I can't recognize where you are in that photo, but it looks like a movie set, maybe southern Utah or New Mexico. Just guessing. Don't worry so much about your big brother, Honey. He's a grown man, and wants his own choices. Yeah, entertainment business is dangerous. But if a man has powerful enemies, then he should seek refuge with Allah. There is none more powerful than God. Have faith, and pray.
If you are curious about the mentality of my parents, then you should watch more P. Ramlee movies. Natty Honey, today the computer wants you to watch "Anakku Sazali" (My child Sazali) from 1956. Just in time for the General Elections! This one is on YouTube, and has subtitles. Since it's a drama, it's much easier to follow, and has no ethnic/insider humor. Some people still live like that in the deep rural areas, in poverty and such. Sure we have cell phones and slumlords now, but some things didn't change in spite of the "progress".
Hi Honey! Many kisses and much love to you. Wishful warm snuggles if it be cold. I hope you are doing well, I always think of you. I'm still trying to stay out of sight. So there's really not much to report today. I dug up a root for my mother. I cut the grass over at your house inshaAllah. Lots of clover there. Then my Mom made me go to the night market and buy some fish sausage. It was crowded there. Ugh.
Hi there Natty Honey! Aw, don't be blue and count your fingers... you are so beautiful and you have a charmed life. You're doing well in business, and I will marry you inshaAllah. So don't you worry, just have tons of fun and enjoy your awesome life. My Rock and Roll Princess. Beautiful girl.
Hi Honey! How are you feeling today, my beloved? You are my beautiful love, and I long for you everyday. Today is Sunday, and I'm still trying to keep out of sight and stay in the house. I had to clean my parents' bedroom as usual on Sundays. And I had to cut the grass, and take out the trash, so I couldn't completely stay out of sight. My house is on the street to an elementary school, which will be the polling station on Wednesday, which is where the voters will cast their votes. I took the snapshots below right outside my front gate, facing away from the elementary school which is 5 houses behind me:
The areas of thick grass is government property. I'm sure the government cares about the voters, and will remove the environmental hazard before Election Day. If the government refuses to do it, then perhaps the opposition will give a couple of guys with grass cutters RM100, have them wear T-shirts with party logos, and they can remove the tall grass in less than an half an hour. It would sure make them look good.
Hi Natty Honey! How's life today, you beautiful precious girl? I'm about to make my dinner. I have some burger buns to use up before they get hard, so I'll be making a cheeseburger and an egg burger. Nothing too fancy. Lunch was a surprising success, I wasn't even trying- eggplant omelet burgers! Hey, they were awesome! You must try one.
Hi Honey! How's it going with you today? I hope you are feeling good, and work and everything is going nice and easy for you. Nothing much going on here. As you know, I'm trying to keep out of sight until after the elections. So I stayed inside the house mostly, mostly listening to music. I'm quite used to life as a hermit, in fact I quite enjoy it. I cut the grass in the evening. Grass sure grows quickly around here. Nothing special on the menu either. Ramen for lunch, and my Mom gave me fried noodles for dinner. I think after this letter, I'll go make some bread and butter and sugar sandwiches. Yummy!
Hi Natty Honey! How's life going for you? I'm sure you are doing lots of exciting things. Please have tons of fun and make lots of money for yourself while you can OK? I want you to know that I'm always with you and always check up on you, so please talk to me about whatever, I'll be sure to answer.
Hi Honey! How are you feeling right now? I hope your routine is trouble-free and enjoyable. It's almost Election Day around here, and I'm trying my darndest to avoid people. But today was the Friday prayer and I had to attend that. And I can't avoid my parents- they're right next door. Then I had to get gasoline, plus I didn't have enough burger stuff. But after today, I should be able to totally avoid (most) people until after Election Day inshaAllah. Well, I have to cast my vote of course. Wish you were here. I already had my dinner. I had a cheeseburger, and an egg burger with cheese. I'm just a burger type of person, I guess.
Hi Natty Bunny Honey! Ah, it's nice to see you so confident. And yes, you do look rather annoying. That cat looks expensive. Make sure it gets plenty of fresh, clean water. Right now, I'm watching "Josie and The Pussycats". No, you don't have to watch it. The computer will let me know when it wants you to watch a movie.
Hi Honey! How are you today? I'm sure the world loves you, but not as I do. I don't have many words today. It's just an average day, I guess. Just a lot of chores and errands. I haven't had dinner yet, so after this I'll cook up some potatoes and onions and garlic with chicken liver and eat it with fry bread. I like rice, but I prefer bread for some reason. After the rain, I cut the grass. Cutting wet grass is not enjoyable (less enjoyable than usual unenjoyable), but I wanted to do it today, so I did it. I guess the song actually goes, "Have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?" It rained much harder than the snapshot I took, but I was slow in getting the camera.
Hi Natty Honey! How are you, gorgeous girl? I hope you are having tons of fun being a Rock and Roll Sweetheart. I want you to know that I check up on you all the time, so please feel free to chat with me in our own special way, that no one else can do but me and my wife inshaAllah. Why be afraid to express yourself? What else is there to do anyway?
Hi Honey! How are you today? How's business? I'm sure you are making lots of money. You are my beautiful love, and I love you with all my heart. I'm doing OK here, rather busy right now. I woke up at 4 am this morning, which is normal so close to Ramadan. I did some extra worship, after that I fed the cats. Floofy was dragging her butt on the floor, which means some poop got tangled up with the hairs around her butt. Yes it usually happens, so I had to clean her butt up with toilet paper then mop the floor. I guess when one is fat and fluffy, one can't hide what one earns and consumes anymore. Especially if one is locked up in a house 24/7 and living a pampered and safe life. All I can say to that is "alhamdulillah". I tried to make Floofy model her butt for the world to see how fluffy it is, but she quickly got tired of it and I had to quit taking photos when she stuck a claw in my index finger. You can see her face that she was getting irritated...
Oooh I haven't had dinner yet. I think I'll cook up a late dinner, maybe eggs and fried onions with a tortilla. I have some fresh tomatoes too. Want some?
Hi Natty Honey! How are you, you beautiful Sweetheart? I hope you are enjoying life as a Rock and Roll royalty. Today the computer wants you to watch "Grease" from 1978. I was 13 when I first saw this movie. I thought that this movie was what America is all about. Now that I'm grown up, I see it as 30 somethings going back to high school. I remember waiting to buy tickets at the local theater. There was no line, but a big crowd, so there was a lot of pushing and shoving to get tickets and get inside. I broke my glasses! But that didn't stop me from watching the movie, and being in awe about the American way of life. Leather jackets! Free sex! Singing and dancing in high school!
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Dear Natalie,
Please marry me and be my second wife. I offer you this song as a dowry, and when I can afford it I will give you a ring inshaAllah. When the time comes and Allah grants me the means to sustain my family inshaAllah, I must marry Erin first. I love you, and please forgive me for my shortcomings.
Azham Abdullah. I blog about the Qur'an, I own a business named Shadowplay, and I am the guardian and representative of a singer named Mary Unknown7. You can hear Mary everyday from 11 pm to 1 am PDT, the stream address is https://www.twitch.tv/maryunknown7
