Bass

 

Hi Grace!  You look so cute in your jeans, flitting around the streets of Hollywood.  Wow, they really cleaned that place up.  YouTube sent me a video from your show at the Desert 5 spot.  I love the outfit you wore, the black bolero and mini.  You look like my dream girl, and you behave so pro.  I couldn't see your shoes, but I'm sure it's those 3 button boots.  My cats tell me you're having issues with jealous women.  That's predictable because it's business, Honey.

I want to introduce you to my bass.  Does it look familiar?  Don't let the cobwebs fool you, it's well played and loved.  Even though it's the cheapest model Ibanez, I had to work at my father's law firm to get the money to buy it.  That was 12 years ago.  The strings are as old.  I love old guitar strings, but I hate old bass strings.  This bass is so played in, I don't want another fretted bass because I love this one too much.  That's the price of keeping me poor folks, you eventually lose my endorsement.  I do need a fretless bass, though.

The last days of Elvis

 

Hi Grace!  Watcha up to?  I hope you're busy relaxing.  Oh but you've got a busy mind, I know that.  Have you tried working out to relax?  No it's not a contradiction Honey, exercise releases endorphins.  Plus it strengthens your heart and gives you a nice toned body.  Great to look at!

I posted some clips of Elvis for you to study.  He was clearly overworked, but he also had bad eating habits: he died on the toilet seat.  And he liked drugs.  Check out the dance he did in the video below.  Even when he was standing still, his knees were vibrating like a guitar string.  My question is with a band that big, why is there a guy playing acoustic guitar?

The Ring of Power

 

Hi Grace.  It's OK to be scared, just put your fear in God.  Think, "What is God going to test me with next?"  More of the same, probably.  You crossed the line by going to LA, now there's no turning back.  Things would have moved slower if you booked your album release show in Nashville, but oh well.  That's life Honey, sometimes we do shit to ourselves.  I see that September is going to be busy for you, so enjoy your home time while you can.  Give your heart a break, and don't overwork.  And that should be your agenda from now on, Rock Star: avoid overwork.  Take heed, Mom and Dad: ONE stroke, and the music is gone forever.

Grace, you were absolutely sane and professional at Jimmy Kimmel live.  Wow, Jimmy Kimmel looks just like Jeff Goldblum!  I'm a fan of Jeff, that open mouth grin at the end of the intro was classic.  He's probably a mobster, though.  Hey Jeff, the last Jurassic World was a mistake for everyone involved!  Crap finds a way!  Esther looked awesome, that's the best I've seen her look on stage.  She needs to kiss the mike for those low notes, kind of what the singer for the Cramps is doing in the video below.  Well, not quite.  Your outfit was borderline, but I decided to like it after seeing the back.  I hate the striped suit, though.  Please don't dress my Grace like a clown!  Dress her elegant!  The sax player looked like he was placed there by the producer so that there would be more white people on stage.  Mookie seemed totally thrilled to be on Jimmy Kimmel.  He's the oldest member of your band, right?  It must have been a dream come true for him.  I say there's a lot more to come, so hold on to your hearts.

Coal mining

 

How do you feel, Grace?  I hope everything went easy, and you are well out of LA.  How is the stream doing for you?  If you can afford it, you should reward your band.  I don't want you to ever experience it, but being in a band is similar to coal mining.  Plus, men have their own chastity to put up with.  If you can help keep them out of the coal mine, it would be great.  That slide player of yours, he's a good man.  Give him extra.

The team

 

Hiya Grace!  Hi there, my beautiful and courageous lioness!  Are you ready to kick some ass?  Don't think about being rich and famous.  Visualize that you are in heaven and playing for God.

I'm feeling a bit speechless right now.  I finally got a lead vocal on "Gyrlie Roxtar".  It's not perfect, but it will do.  Mary simply cannot express innocence, but she tried her best.  Grace Bowers captured pure innocence with guitar and songwriting: she didn't have to sing.  Maybe being young has something to do with it.  I can't seem to stop weeping...

Anyway, here's to your team!  You have a good team, Grace.  There's no need for fear.  InshaAllah.

Lucy

 

Hi Grace!  I suppose you're waiting for my in depth analysis of your first album.  Well, here it is: I like it!

LA is famously full of fake people, and the next few days will be full of them.  Stay out of sight if you can, but you're becoming so big so fast all them poseurs will want a piece of you.  They may look OK but they practice witchcraft, so don't give nor accept anything from people you don't trust, like hair, tokens, trinkets, etc.  Trust is a difficult thing anywhere but worst in Hollywood: they can be so convincing, and they might put years into securing their act.  You are a Rock Star and you will have to make personal appearances.  Don't hang around for the after party: it will be dangerous.  Cameras are everywhere.

Hollywood used to be the entertainment capitol of the world.  The greatest movies were made there.  Nowadays, anyone can make a movie.  They post it on YouTube, and even the major studios post whole movies on YouTube.  But that's not the real problem.  Hollywood has run out of ideas, so it steals as much creativity it can from real life.  You still have your inner circle to help shield you, to a certain extent.  But people like the homeless are subject to cruel movie making.

Your first album is a hit, Honey.  It is well arranged and produced.  When I heard "Lucy", I thought it was an Allman brothers cover.  But Google didn't know of an Allman brothers song called "Lucy", and I was delighted to realize that you wrote it.  Grace, it's the most beautiful song I've heard since "The Rain Song".  The feeling it gave me was like a happy sadness, tears of contradiction.  The fadeout fadein is ingenious.  The other songs orbit around "Lucy".  I wish I had written that song.  I know you like funk and what not, but your strength is beautiful melody.  You can still make beautiful melody upbeat and energetic by putting it over intense drums and bass.

Funny Thing

 

Hi Grace.  It's awesome that you're on the billboards in NY and LA!  Wasn't it both the State Dept and YouTube that made you ambassador?  They're not supporting you, Honey.  YouTube is fulfilling an agenda made with the US government.  I'm sure you know that.  Your responsibility is to do a good job.

It's OK to be afraid!  But don't be afraid of people, be afraid of God.  Hide behind me when you're afraid.  Since I can't be there, then bring your guitar with you wherever you go.  Tell them I told you to do so.  Use it as a weapon if you have to.  Don't let anybody touch your guitar.  Make sure you have strap locks!  Ya Allah, please protect my Grace.

I asked Anna Wintour to offer you a subscription to Vogue.  Please accept it.  It shouldn't be too expensive, and you need to study the ads.  Also please exercise, don't assume your body will keep its shape, it needs to be maintained.  Letting your body go to fat is unprofessional.  I hate to scold you on this and post a picture of your behind (actually, you're the one who posted this photo), but you didn't listen to me the first time when I told you to take care of your body.  You can bet your ass that I'm going to nag you about your looking after your body.  Especially now you're becoming more high profile.  Pump iron to pump away the fear.  Stop eating sugar.  Work out your butt and shoulders.  Both you and Esi need to work out.  You're in showbiz!

"Them Changes" is a good song, but my favorite Thundercat tune is "Funny Thing".  I'm sure many people agree with me.  It's so danceable!  He can't seem to get the same vibe live, though.  That bass line tells a story, which matches the lyrics.  Listen closely to it.  The story is, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boink!  Oh boy, oh boy, oh boink?  Oh boy, oh boy, oh BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!"  Anyway, the original version is too short.  Less than 2 minutes?  Are you kidding me?  So some guy pastes together a 10 hour mix of "Funny Thing", and it's absolutely great!  You and Esi can dance to it the whole 10 hours.  That would be a good workout.