The September issue

 

Hi Natty!  What are you looking at, Honey?  You looking at me?  I'm looking at you!   I hope all this business isn't making you too serious.  I'm not making any money, so I don't have the same emotional attachment to it as others.  I guess that's why I fuck around with it.  Honey, please keep safe and healthy.

Mary's outfit is:

Alli&Ali Designs Sonera Hair

Dellybeams Chocolate Turquoise Cluster Necklace

LEGENDAIRE DONATELLA GOWN

R.icielli - MELVA High Heels

I guess I will begin reviewing the Fall 2023 Ready-to-wear collections beginning September 1.  No, I don't have a September issue.  I received an email from Anna Wintour herself telling me to subscribe to Vogue.  Spam?  Maybe.  I replied that I would love a subscription to Vogue, but I can't afford it.  But she could send me a free subscription if she wanted.  I'm sure Vogue already has my mailing address.  Otherwise they wouldn't be worthy of being regarded as modern mass media.

Here are the contestants for the Fall 2023 Ready-to-wear collection competition.  If you're not listed here, then bitch about it to Anna.  I count 202 designers.

A

A.P.C.

A.W.A.K.E. MODE

Acne Studios

AG

AGL

Akris

Alessandra Rich

Alexander McQueen

Alexandre Vauthier

Alexis Mabille

Alyx

Andreadamo

Andreas Kronthaler for Vivienne Westwood

Andrew Gn

Ann Demeulemeester

Anna October

Anonlychild

Anrealage

Anteprima

Armarium

Arthur Arbesser

Ashish

Aspesi

Atlein

ATXV

Autumn Adeigbo

Avavav

AZ Factory

B

Balenciaga

Bally

Balmain

Barbara Tfank

Bevza

Blumarine

Bottega Veneta

Bronx and Banco

C

Calvin Luo

Caroline Hu

Cecilie Bahnsen

CFCL

Chanel

Chloé

Christian Dior

Comme des Garçons

Cong Tri

Coperni

Cormio

Courrèges

Cult Gaia

D

Daniel W. Fletcher

Danielle Frankel

Diane von Furstenberg

Dolce & Gabbana

Dries Van Noten

Dundas

Duran Lantink

E

Elie Saab

Emporio Armani

ERL

Ermanno Scervino

Ester Manas

European Culture

F

Fashion Institute of Technology

Fear of God

Ferragamo

Ferrari

For Restless Sleepers

G

Gauchere

GCDS

Genny

Giambattista Valli

Giorgio Armani

Givenchy

GmbH

Gucci

H

H&M Studio

Heliot Emil

Hermès

Hodakova

Hope For Flowers

HUI

I

Institut Français de la Mode

Iro

Isabel Marant

Issey Miyake

J

Jacquemus

Jenny Packham

Jil Sander

Johanna Ortiz

Jonathan Cohen

Junya Watanabe

K

K Krizia

Kenneth Ize

Kiko Kostadinov

Kith

Kitx

Koché

Krizia

L

La DoubleJ

Lanvin

Loewe

Longchamp

Lorena Antoniazzi

Loro Piana

Louis Vuitton

Luisa Beccaria

Lutz Huelle

M

Maje

Mame Kurogouchi

Marc Jacobs

Margaret Howell

Marques’Almeida

Maryam Nassir Zadeh

Max Mara

Max Mara Atelier

Melitta Baumeister

Meryll Rogge

Mira Mikati

Missoni

Miu Miu

MM6 Maison Margiela

Monse

Moschino

Mossi

MSGM

N

Nanushka

Nehera

Niccolò Pasqualetti

Nili Lotan

Nina Ricci

Noir Kei Ninomiya

O

Off-White

Ottolinger

P

Palm Angels

Paolina Russo

Parsons BFA

Paul Smith

Paula Canovas Del Vas

Peter Do

Philipp Plein

Philosophy di Lorenzo Serafini

Polo Ralph Lauren

Ports 1961

Prada

Pratt Institute

Q

Quira

R

Rabanne

Rachel Comey

Ralph Lauren

Rave Review

Rejina Pyo

Renaissance Renaissance

Rev

Rick Owens

Rochas

Róisín Pierce

Rokh

Roland Mouret

Romance Was Born

RTA

Rue Agthonis

S

Sacai

Saint Laurent

Sara Battaglia

Schiaparelli

Self-Portrait

Shang Xia

Shuting Qiu

Sid Neigum

Simon Miller

Sportmax

Stella Jean

Stella McCartney

Sunnei

T

Temperley London

The Attico

The Elder Statesman

Thebe Magugu

Tod’s

Tokyo James

Tom Ford

Tommy Hilfiger

Tomo Koizumi

Trussardi

U

Uma Wang

Undercover

V

Valentino

Vaquera

Versace

Victoria Beckham

Vivetta

Vivienne Westwood

W

We11done

Willie Norris for Outlier

X

Xuly.Bët

Y

Y/Project

Yeohlee

Yohji Yamamoto

Z

Zimmermann

Zuhair Murad

And the winner of the FALL 2023 COUTURE collection competition is...

 

Hi Natty!  How's business today?  Making the big bucks?  Get it while you can, Honey!  Spending the big bucks?  I'd like to do that!  Keep safe and healthy in your transactions, my love.

I would like to thank Balenciaga for surprising me, by being elegant instead of trashy and "derelicte".

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

19.  Say, "What thing is most weighty in evidence?" Say, "Allah is witness between me and you; this Qur'an has been revealed to me by inspiration, that I may warn you and all whom it reaches.  Can you possibly bear witness that besides Allah there is another god?" Say, "No!  I cannot bear witness!" Say, "But in truth God is the One God, and I truly am innocent of joining others with God."

The Cattle 6:19

59.  Say, "Praise be to Allah and peace on God's servants whom God has chosen.  Who's better?  Allah or the false gods they associate?"

The Ants 27:59

Mary's outfit is:

Alli&Ali Designs Debbie Hair

BM Jellby Sandal

Zuri Rayna~Poinsettia White/Gold Earrings

[MERCH] Bri Denim Shorts & tank

Back to the vet

 

Hi Natty!  What's going on?  Lost in thought?  You are the most beautiful philosopher in the world!  Meditation in the comfort of your home is a great way to stay safe and healthy.

So I took Adolf back to the vet.  The first thing they asked me is did he get sex.  I said yes he's been boning the neighbors' cats.  Then the doctor examined him.  She squeezed his bladder like popping a pimple, and out shot the pee onto the table.  She pointed out wisps of fat in the pee and told me he's been eating too much protein.  She asked me what I have been feeding him, and I replied "kibble".  She then blamed the kibble and told me to feed him boiled chicken and carrots.  I don't think the kibble is to blame, though.  I didn't tell her about the chicken gizzards.  Spaghetti.  Fried chicken carcass.  Then I got stuck with a hundred dollar tab, which didn't include drugs to dissolve the fat in his bladder.  She said, "Give him lots of water".  Yeah.  Oh my God, he's going to hate me for taking away his spaghetti.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

72.  Say. "Do you see, if Allah were to make the day perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah Who can give you a night in which you can rest?  Will you not then see?"

The Narrations 28:72

Mary's outfit is:

Alli&Ali Designs Ariel Hair

-LEO- gold necklace - with chains MODEL 1

**ABSEN** DRESS -FLORI- 1

Pure Poison - Artizan Cloud Pumps

Here are my picks from the Zuhair Murad FALL 2023 COUTURE collection:

Face of the enemy

Hi Natty!  Hi Honey!  Are you having tons of fun?  I hope you are!  You are MY girl, and I love you with all of my heart.  Please keep safe and healthy for us.  Would you like some fried chicken?  I bought some at the night market to dip into ranch dressing.  Hm.  Real mayonnaise is definitely best for making ranch.  The batch of ranch I have is 2 weeks old now, and I can really taste the sugar from the cheap mayo that I used.

I want to show the folks on my side the face of the enemy, rather the sophisticated equipment that the enemies of Allah use, and this is what I have to go up against everyday.  However, I'm not too concerned about having the big guns to fight with right now.  Adolf is having trouble peeing and his bladder is bloated.  The vet said it's because he needs sex, and my problem is that he wants sex with his own daughter.  So he's going to have to stay outside until he gets rid of all that pee.  And if has a problem being around his daughters, then he's going to be an outdoors cat for good.  Which means a short life.  I sure hope he mellows out, because I love my kitty.  I'll give him a couple of days and if he still can't empty out that bladder, then it's another stressful journey to the vet for him and another stressful journey to the vet for me plus 500 bucks in medical bills.

Mary's outfit is:

Alli&Ali Designs Beverly Hair

Shey Berkeley Heels

Chop Zuey Le Petit Fleur Necklace

Vonfyrsten 370 Maddie dress

This couture collection is a swimsuit collection?  Swimsuits are kind of pornographic to me, because one can't help but look at the same spots every time.  I suppose I should review it anyway, but the boys should have been more inclusive and made the models wear bulges.  Here are my picks from the Viktor & Rolf FALL 2023 COUTURE collection:

Sunday

 

Hi Natty!  How are you today, Honey?  I'm sure you are a busy bee, and enjoying being a beautiful girl.  You are the most beautiful girl in the world to me!  I love you with all of my heart.  Please keep safe and healthy OK!  It's Sunday here today.  I'm doing OK, just chilling.  Jane is in heat right now, and Adolf has been moping all day because I won't let him pork his daughter.  She is a beautiful cat, so I suppose I should feel sorry for him.  But I don't.

I planned to have steak and fries for dinner.  But on the way back home from the mosque, I stopped by the sundry shop for a fresh box of mosquito incense and bought some fried bananas.  So for dinner, I skipped the fries and just had steak.  I once had a debate with my mother that the best fried bananas are the ones that are fried in oil that had been frying bananas all day, while she maintained that the oil must be fresh.  Of course both are good when fresh hot out of the grease, but I believe I am right about this.  What do you think?

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

56.  Say, "I am forbidden to worship those other than Allah whom you call upon".  Say, "I will not follow your vain desires: if I did I would stray from the path and be not of the company of those who receive guidance".

The Cattle 6:56

Mary's outfit is:

Alli&Ali Designs Tsarina Hair

Maraschino - Elaine Glasses - Tortoise

R.icielli - ELSA High Heels

SENTINUS - outfit

Here are my picks from the Valentino FALL 2023 COUTURE collection: