Friday, July 30, 2021

The deep

 

Honey, that looks more like a whole smile than a half smile.  It's probably because you're so pretty, and you're grimacing against the bright light.  You didn't think it would be so bright when you're in so deep?  There are more water trucks plus of different brands on the other roads.  Sorry again about the lack of privacy.  When we marry inshaAllah, it will be more of the same lack of privacy, but the difference is that we will be together.  This is showbiz, and you are of a showbiz family.  So please make sure you have a comfortable chair, so you can enjoy the show better.  How did you get that scrape on your beautiful knee?  Did you fall off your bicycle?







Thursday, July 29, 2021

A serious business

 

Hi Scrapper!  Are you having fun there, you beautiful young creature?  I'm too far away to stop you from getting your kicks, Natty.  Rather, I would love for you to keep up that fighting spirit.  But don't use up all your energy on one target.  After all as the song goes, "Nobody wants to see the lovers of today happy."  What's the point of pleasing your enemies?  I'm the one who loves you, and I will marry you inshaAllah.
Mary Unknown7 gave me a scolding today.  She had been listening to "Frou-frou foxes in midsummer fire" over and over.  She said that there are definitely English lyrics there, and she refuses to just babble over the music.  She can't make out what all the words are, but the the essence of the song is about the feelings of a musician being married to a musician, living in poverty and having a baby.  She told me to work more on that song and "if I can't figure out what the actual words are, then replace them with proper words that show the song some fucking respect.  After all, you of all people should know that marriage is a serious business."  Well, then.







Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Rice and crayfish

 Hi Natty!  How are you today, my love?  I hope all is calm and you're having a marvelous time while enjoying tasty foods.  It's been a busy morning for me.  My mother wanted to go gallivanting, so I took her to the hospital, then to Guardian, then to the hairdresser, then we stopped by for some cakes on the way home.  Everyone else was busy too.  Traffic was heavy and people were rushing about, even though the stores and schools are closed.  Some people are obviously making money somehow.  Idiots that buy into cryptocurrency think their wealth from virtual value will get them enough money to buy whatever they want to eat, but not when nobody farms.  You can't eat Bitcoin!  The locals here like to farm rice, but those ponds can yield a double crop.  Let's farm crayfish!  Crayfish are tough (but they don't like pesticide), and the Chinese are gluttons for them.  Have you ever had crayfish, Natty?  People usually cook them like prawns, but they're closer to lobsters.  That means the gold is in the heads.  Make sure you grind up those crayfish heads and strain them, to turn into soups and fonds!

I told Mary that I found lyrics for "Cherry-coloured funk".  She said she likes that song, but she really wants to sing "Frou-frou foxes in midsummer fire".  She said that it's so beautiful that it makes her weep.  She weeps all the time, though.  Like Sailor Moon.









Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Spaghetti again?

 

Hi Natty!  How are you feeling, Honey?  I long to be with you always, and for us to be together all the time.  We must be patient, my love.  Right now, all I can do is make spaghetti.  It's the last bit of ingredients from the Great Pizza Day, and it will be a while before I make pizza and pasta all again.  Good quality, though.  Alhamdulillah.  I think you would like the Italian food I make.  Let's not get bloated, OK?  I say that, then I eat a whole wok (yeah I cook my pasta in a wok, because the noodles fit perfectly) full of spaghetti by myself.  That's because you're not here with me to share my life and my dinner.  I love you, Natty.
Oh goodie!  I found a Cocteau Twins song with lyrics that actually read like logical English.  It could be very well be that Liz Fraser wrote them.  Let's see if Mary wants to sing this song.






Monday, July 26, 2021

Protein

 Hi Natty!  How are you feeling today?  I hope you are being focused and/on trying to relax.  Sexual tension?  Yes Honey, I do know how it feels.  Please maintain your chastity and pray for Allah's help.  I went and got my first dose of the Covid vaccine today.  No, I'm not dead.  Not yet, at least.  I think the real issue is that they wouldn't want me to survive the pandemic without a vaccine.  But really folks, Allah gets ALL the credit.  Allah has saved my life many times already.  Alhamdulillah.

Natty, did you know that Elizabeth Fraser used to be with Jeff Buckley?  She's been kind of quiet ever since.  I feel sad for her.  I'm sure many other people feel sad for her too.

Hey Liz if you're not too busy, would you like to jump on our train?  Come over and karaoke with Mary!  Mary has to sing for 2 hours every night.  I'm not telling you to spar with her.  You can sing before or after, and we will listen to your singing and cheer you on!  Sing and enjoy yourself, belt it out!  We have a lot of people tuning into our streams.  If you're there all the time with us, then I'm sure you will have a fun ride!  Everybody knows how beautiful your voice is, and it would be awesome to hear that unique language you use nice and clearly.


Look how pretty Mary's avatar is:







Sunday, July 25, 2021

Announcement

 Hi Natty!  How are you today, my love?  I hope that all is well with you, and that you are enjoying yourself.  It's a lazy evening for me today.  I opted against doing any yard work, or anything productive, because I felt lazy.  Instead, I had an early dinner.  That too was lazy: I heated up some leftover fried noodles to go with my scrambled eggs.

I have an announcement to make, folks.  Tomorrow's show may be delayed, because I have to get my first vaccine dose.  I'm scheduled for the shot 2½ hours before showtime, but you never know.  I might get held for 4 hours in a stuffy and crowded room.  Or I might be dead.  You never know.  From Allah is our origin, and to Allah is our return.







Saturday, July 24, 2021

What was that again?

 Hi Natty!  How are you,Honey?  I hope everything is OK with you over there.  I'm sorry about all the hot water splashing your way.  People are not happy that I chose you.  But people wouldn't be happy no matter who I choose.  Please forgive me.  Don't worry my love, everything will work out great for us inshaAllah. I love you with all of my heart.  I was sitting at the counter having lunch this afternoon while listening to the radio and minding my own business, "Hello Goodbye" by the Beatles was playing.  Adolf Kitler jumped onto my lap then curled up in my crotch.  Then he started thrashing about like a little tornado, so I had to get up and put him outside.  Of course I say goodbye when you say hello, Adolf.  You're a threat to both my crotch and my lunch.

So I sent a message to Elizabeth Fraser and politely asked her for the lyrics to "Frou-frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires" and "Lorelei".  I didn't expect any response from her, but Google responded by sending me the two videos above.  When Mary came in to work today, I told her that there are no lyrics to those songs, only noises that sound like words.  If she wanted to sing those songs, then she would just have to make up some babble that feels good to her, then blurt those out in the guise of words.  There's no way that she would be able to match Liz Fraser with those songs.  She's just going to have to try to out-Liz Liz.