Mornings

I'm not a morning person.  I prefer late nights, but lately I've been running out of time, so I sleep less and become active in the morning.  I would like to sleep more, but I toss and turn so I might as well work until I become sleepy.  This morning I was supposed to take my Dad for his eye appointment but he cancelled and I had to go reschedule for him.  I deal better with life when I'm prepared for something: I was prepared to wait for my Dad while he saw the eye specialist, but I wasn't prepared to wait for them to reschedule the appointment.  And they took a long time.  So that messed with my emotions.  I had been to the market and bought a fish among other things, so it was a good thing it wasn't a hot day because that fish had to sit in my motorcycle basket.  Alhamdulillah.  I locked the cats up while I gutted that fish but I missed the heart, which was still attached to the stomach cavity.  By then I had released the cats, and they were begging for scraps of course.  I threw them the fish heart, and Floofy wolfed it up.  Then she puked it out.  I am prepared to deal with your sensitive tummy, InshaAllah.  I sure hope you don't beg for stuff that you can't eat.

Natty, you look absolutely wonderful.  Is that a recent photo?  Your face looks much more relaxed.  And that sure is a BIG dog collar.  I sure love how beautiful your shoulders and arms are.

Pina, did you need me for something?  If you need me, then talk to me.

Time adjustment

Hello Dearest.  How are you feeling?  I have had less time to work with since the fasting month started.  I usually write this letter around sunset my time, but now I have to write in the late morning.  No lunch to prepare, so that makes sense.  I haven't spent much time in the kitchen either.  My Mom was complaining that I didn't have any curry pup stuffing: I haven't had the time to make any yet.  I did make some generic curry (extra thick) at 3 am this morning, perhaps I'll make stuffing out of that.

Hey Natty!  Looks like you're having a great time.  Your face looks funny upside down.  I think I like you better with your eyes above your mouth.  Cutie.

So Pina, you've never had stomach problems in your life until you went to NYC.  I used to have an iron stomach when I was young, but no more.  But now your tummy is more sensitive, you should eat simpler.  Plain bread with sliced meat, plain white rice with soy sauce, etc.  Until you get your heart settled down about your life in NYC.  Life in the Netherlands would be so much better for your stomach.  And business.

Al Fatihah (The Opening)

Erin, that is a truly luxurious bubble bath,  You have certainly become a wealthy woman, and all from your own hard work.  Plus, you are beautiful.  Congratulations, and God bless you.
Natty, you are really a sweet and beautiful girl.  I hope you learn to relax and have fun with your career, especially since it's clear that you have a greater advantage over other girls.
And Happy Birthday to you, Pina.  So you're a Gemini.  My Mom is a Gemini too.  Not that I believe in that astrology garbage, but it does somehow give some sense as to why you are so naughty.

As you know, I cannot be married to a non-Muslim.  Of course I don't expect you to do everything correctly: God is Lenient, so I must be liberal too.  Especially towards my wife.  It is my responsibility to teach you your Islam, so the blame falls on me for marrying you, and not you.  All Muslims must learn this prayer.  It is called "Al-Fatihah", or The Opening.  Please memorize it, at least in English.

I am most curious as to your reaction to this letter.  I am sure that God will react to your reaction as well, so please be serious.

Thank you.

Ramadan begins tomorrow

And I am in a big rush!  I have to leave for the mosque right after I finish this letter, so please forgive me for being abrupt.  I spent the morning making more spaghetti sauce, but I always eat light before going to the mosque, so I had ramen noodles in soup.  For the predawn  meal, I will be having a heavier meal: tenderloin and white rice.  Whoops!  Gotta go!  I love you!

New York City

Hey there, city girl!  Oooh, I can't match all the luxuries you are so used to partaking in the city- I was digging weeds by the rice paddy just now.  Good thing there's the Internet, we can just have someone deliver it by drone or something.  All this green and country living has spoiled me.  I've stopped using a watch.  But stress is stress, I guess.  Stress for me is following my cats around with a mop before they pee somewhere else.  No, I'm kidding: there's only one naughty kitty, and she's in heat.  There used to be a saying, "If you can make it in New York City, then you can make it anywhere."  I think nowadays the reverse is true: "If you can make it anywhere, then you can make it in New York City."

Hey Natty, how's it going?  Hey there!  Hey there, Gorgeous!  Hey Natty, you gorgeous blue-eyed girl!  Wassap?  Wassap?  WASSAP?

Oh Pina, you've never had stomach problems before huh?  It's called stress.  Stress and not eating properly.  Again Pina, you would have a greater advantage over them back in the Netherlands.

2 more days until Ramadan!

Are you excited?  Are you?  Are you?  I am.  I like Ramadan.  It's my favorite time of the year, and it lasts for a month.  For those of you who don't know, Muslims celebrate Ramadan by fasting from dawn to dusk for a month.  Then they celebrate the 2 Eids, the first Eid being the end of Ramadan, and the second Eid being the end of the Hajj ritual.  It's like having 2 Christmases.  But I prefer Ramadan over the Eid.  I think the Eid is overrated.

Oh Erin, you are such a pretty young thing!  I wish I could have had you when you were that age.  I wish I could have you now.  I wish I could have you!  But in all due respect, I must make sure that you are well taken care of financially.  I want to treat you well, because I love you.  NYC does seem pretty from that height.  But anywhere is pretty from that height, as long as there aren't any clouds or smog blocking the view.  Where was the smog when you took that video?  That's odd.

Natty, is it defeat to not be enslaved and put through physical duress over and over but not advance anywhere?  Is it defeat to not compromise yourself and allow yourself to be molested by homosexual studio bosses?  Is it defeat to keep your integrity, and not stoop to evil in order to win?  On the contrary, I think it's victory.  Besides, who can say who's won when the game isn't over yet?

Pina, I'm glad to see that you are working, and I'm proud of you.  Please don't lose your innocence, because you need it to maintain your beauty.  It's hard enough to be alone and not be loved in the big city, but you are loved: they are just far away.  So be strong instead.  Don't get into debt.  Pray.

Now I have to go make a batch of dough.  So it will ready by Saturday morning.

Mickey Mouse

Didn't you have a Mickey Mouse outfit?  I swore I saw a photo you in one.  I personally don't subscribe to having a mouse as a role model.  Why couldn't he be Mickey Cat?  I love cats.  Even naughty kitties... well, sometimes.  Anyway with all what's going on in the world right now, you must be having a hell of a time being Mrs. Global.  Be cool honey, and don't worry too much about it.  Just follow my lead, and take shelter in my shadow.  InshaAllah, everything will turn out just fine.

Natty, I don't believe you have ever met Naomi Campbell in person.  Even if you have, I want your bosses to arrange for you to meet her AT HER HOUSE.  Trust me, it will be great for business.  InshaAllah.  Make sure you fly in on helicopter, so you can see her house from above.  I'm you sure will like her no matter what, but prepare for battle anyway.