Letter to Julia 20140505

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

How are you feeling today, my dearest Julia and Erin?  I pray you are keeping the faith and enjoying yourselves.  I just got finished making dough and sardine dip for my breakfast bread.  Most delicious, and a quick and fresh breakfast.  Ingredients?  Onions blended in oil and a little bit of belacan (pronounced "belahchan" not "belliken", which is fermented shrimp cake), fried up with pepper and red hot pepper paste, then crumbled deboned sardines from a can.  Sardine bones make a great fond, by the way.  After I'm out of sardine dip, I'll make chicken curry for my morning bread.

A lot is going on right now, but nothing that I can talk about, because I'm not really doing anything, so I can't get any credit.  The credit goes to Allah.  Let's just say that God is putting on a marvelous and highly entertaining show, and the Master is toppling pawns all over the place.  So I hope you are paying attention, and your spy network is cluing you in on all the news.  This also to remind you, and I mean the both of you, that you are already at the top of your game, because Allah put you there.  The world is your stage, so don't try too hard.  You don't have to do much of anything except be beautiful, and you are.  Did you expect to have a long acting career like Jodie Foster to then finally get... married... at the age of 60 or 70 something?  So please be grateful to Allah for putting you on this spiritual trip.  As for me, I love you I love you, and I need you I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140503

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my gorgeous wives.  I love you, I love you.  I went to blog on Thursday evening in the midst of my illness, but they were closed for Labor Day.  Labor Day?  I have to work everyday, and I'm not even a prophet.  Singing well is difficult to begin with, try singing while hacking up loagies.  But alhamdulillah, that's all that's left of the flu of the year, is the clearing of phlegm from my lungs.  I pray you are taking good loving care of yourselves, and being good girls.  You are so beautiful and wonderful, you are the light of my life, and I love you, I love you with all my heart.  I need you, I need you.

Thus I finally had the strength to cut the grass in my yard.  Floofy was bugging me about that, and she was right.  The place was starting to lok like an vacant lot.  I usually like the wildflowers here in Malaysia, but right now the wild growth is hideous for some reason, so I whacked them all out.  The clover seems to have moved to Casa de Julia for some reason.  I like clover: it's pretty, and it grows short.  Oh well.  Wish you were here.  Please be patient my beloved, and pray.

Letter to Julia 20140501

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beautiful precious darlings.  How are you feeling, o ravishing ones?  I guess I got forced into overdrive while I was sick.  That was a tough week for me, and I'm still feverish.  Ya Allah, I hope I passed your exam.  Exams, exams, exams.  I guess it's true that high school never ends.  Anyway, how are the most beautiful girls in the world?  I love you I love you so much, my dearest wives, and I need you, I need you.  You are in my heart all the time.  You are MINE, MINE.

Qur'an 20140501

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

88.  Strain not your eyes at what We have bestowed on certain classes of them, nor grieve over them, but lower your wings to the believers.

89.  And say, "I am indeed he that warns openly and without ambiguity."

90.  As We sent down on those who divided,

91.  As have made the Qur'an into shreds.

92.  Therefore, by your Lord, We will, of a surety, call them to account,

93.  For all their deeds.

94.  Therefore expound openly what you are commanded, and turn away from those who join false gods with Allah.

The Rocky Tract 15:88-94
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I am indeed he that warns openly and without ambiguity.

Letter to Julia 20140428

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ugh, I got sick.  Well yeah, it's my week of isolation again if you've been counting, but I also got sick during the weekend.  It started on Wednesday night when I got swarmed by these miniature beetles, that happened to be immune to my usual defense of moth balls and mosquito incense.  So I lost a lot of sleep over that.  The next night they were back, but this time I was armed with a can of bug spray.  It took a lot of bug spray to neutralize these beetles, and I woke up with a cough.  The Flu Virus Collective took this opportunity to attack my voice.  I went and bought a big old bottle of cough syrup with my last 20 bucks, so I was able to work over the weekend, but not at 100%.  The the fever came, so by Sunday I was down to about 60%.  The Collective has been directly attacking my voice lately, and leaving my sinuses for last.  I feel OK right now, but I can smell those damn beetles again.  You definitely don't want to get one of these varmints in your dinner.  They're not poisonous, but they stink.

Again, I'm really sorry you have to lag behind.  It's not good for you, and it's not good for me.  But again, I cannot have you marry into my poverty.  What to do?  I cannot take any other position than to always consider your well-being.  The good news is that if you serve Allah, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving and most Merciful.  On the other hand, the penalty of God is the most grievous penalty.  As for me, you are my wives inshaAllah, and I want to raise a family with you.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140424

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my brave and beautiful wives.  Yes, I think you both are very brave: it takes much courage to walk the righteous path.  Integrity is a very expensive thing.  But courage alone is not enough: you must have the help of Allah.  So please maintain your prayers.  Erin, I'm not trying to upstage you.  I am your husband inshaAllah, and I am the one to help nurture and protect you.  I'm not doing what Nicki Minaj did to you on the Pink section of the 2011 show.  Really, you were too nice to her.  You should have petted her on the head and given her a Milk Bone.  So don't look at it as being upstaged.  Marriage is sacred.  I am here to love you, to help provide for you, and to help protect you.  Just remember that Allah is the Best to protect.

I just got done cutting grass over at Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  Grass grows fast here in Malaysia.  Clover seems to grow the fastest there.  It hasn't overrun the place yet, but I really should put a German plant there.  What plant is native to both Germany and Malaysia?  Cabbage?  Maybe I should start a cabbage patch.  That sounds like a lot of work, and I'm a lazy man.  I did however collect mangoes yesterday.  The tree at Casa de Julia inshaAllah wielded a lot of fruit this year, and the mangoes of that tree is the best.  I sewed together a net made out of my old pant leg to an old towel ring, and tied it with metal ties to a hook at the end of an extra long stick of bamboo to help me collect fruit with, but I still got hit on the head with a mango.  Right above the eye where I got eye strain from watching too much TV.  Oh don't worry about me.  InshaAllah, I'll be OK.  What I need is to make love to you.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140421

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Did you know that when cats are about to die, they leave the house?  Humans don't know when they die.  Most of them think they'll get a timeout when the Wrath of God hits them.  Imagine my stress when Chee Cheah refused to stay inside the house anymore, and started to insist to remain outside, then I don't see her for a day.  I thought she was just blaming me for her seasonal fungal infection, but what to do?  I don't make the rain, I just medicate her and take her to the vet.  So I didn't get much sleep last night, worrying about my kitty.  I love my cats.  Besides the fungal problem, I think she's resentful to the presence of the pregnant Floofy, and the impending arrival inshaAllah of kittens in the house.  But I found her just now after voice training.  It turns out that she's been skulking out of sight around my house and Casa de Julia, and eating out of Simper's food bowl.  Of course I caught her and medicated her, then released her outside.  She immediately tried to wipe off the medicine by rubbing herself on the concrete.  If she wants to stay outside, then so be it.  I'm just going to have a harder time catching her to take her to the vet.  I'm just glad she's not dead.  Ya Allah, please give all my kitties miraculously long, happy, healthy lives like 300 years or so.  I mean 30.  Typo.

Now please excuse me, I have to go and make a batch of dough.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.