The one man band

 

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Hello, beautiful girl.  I hope you enjoyed your vinyl release show.  It doesn't seem like a very big show, but that shouldn't matter.  What a year it's been for you!  Everything happened so quickly.  Don't expect to maintain the same pace, because it can't be all good things happening all the time.  Right?  You got to have some bad stuff to fill in the blanks.  So please try to slow down.

Oh, that bracelet looks edible!  Oh, blood on the Strat... how cool.  It means that you have an issue with Strat players, and the guitar itself.  Good or bad?  Blood.  I watched your appearance on the Kelly Clarkson show.  The camera work is awesome, it's the the best video of you out there.  I really like your amp on that show.  It's a thicker tone than the usual.  I also saw that Gardens and Guns thing at the old church.  You certainly have a hodge podge of musicians staffing your band.  That's because you have a hodge podge of gigs.  It would be nice to have a permanent lineup, but that's not easy.  That's why there are so many one man bands nowadays.  Don't mess around with bass and drums, Honey.

The smorgasbord

 

So were you impressed by that fruit and cheese spread at the WME event?  I think I saw some sliced meats as well.  But I wasn't interested in that.  Maybe the cheese, I might stuff my pockets with the cheese since cheese is expensive here and the selection is poor.  What do you think of the Las Vegas buffet?  They need a vomitarium there!  That's where the Romans went to puke so they could eat more.  I can't eat much of such a smorgasbord.  It isn't halal!

So you have all these goodies piling up in front of you.  You must be absolutely thrilled being popular and a social butterfly, and you're such a pretty girl.  Will you have time to make great music?  Do you believe great music can be generated at a meet and greet?  Hm...

Rabies

 

Honey, that raccoon had rabies.

Oh, a free guitar!  How awesome!  You know something, my cats can sing along to "Wine on Venus" with just one word: "meow".  The catch is that I have to be cooking something at the time.  I keep all my 7 cats indoors.  That way, they don't get diseases from other animals and they don't get harmed by the humans.  Unlike dogs, cats do fabulously when they stay indoors.  After all, there's no such thing as doggy litter.  You have to take your dogs outside, and they will come into contact with other animals.  Like rabies.  There's no cure for rabies.  Once infected, it's a death sentence.  Be careful with your dogs out there in the woods.  They are your friends.

The follower

 

Honey, I didn't know you voted for Trump!  By the way, red vinyl is a good choice.  I wouldn't do it for me, but for you it's the way to go.  Make sure the music for your next album is excellent!  You are now in competition with yourself.  Don't pretend the music is good just for collaboration's sake.

A global agenda

 

Didn't I tell you to wear that NICE ring when you chose the political path?  Well it's too late now, but you still have your ambassadorship.  For now.  You can bet your ass the new guy is keeping an eye on us.  I'm sorry Honey, but actions speak louder than words.

Rock and Roll is a dangerous profession.  Since you have the money, then you should hire security for live shows and personal appearances.  Staying in your bedroom has better odds for survival than playing live on stage, but it's not a sure thing.  I've lost count of the assassins that have come to me, while all I do is stay here in the sticks.  And I have no money!  You're the one who keeps dragging Lucky Jim around.  That is his name, right?  Allah is the One Who determines life and death.  The concept of Luck is an insult to God, and it isn't even mathematical.  Anybody who believes in luck over God is a "kafir" (unbeliever).  If you really believed that God protects you, then you would pray for that protection.  Lest you become a lesson to be learned.  What you see is not the same as what your enemies see.  That is the power of God.  That is a sign from God.  Ya Allah, please protect my Grace.

The only way to know for sure what countries have the most fans is to take a survey.  Just ask your viewers what country they're from.  The most efficient way for the computer to keep account is a drop down menu.  I don't know how you would put that in your stream.  You're going to have to figure that out.

The Overdog

 

Oh I'm not comparing her to Nietzsche's overman, folks: I posted that video above as a meme.  You are an overdog though, Honey.  It simply means that you're not an underdog anymore.  If you didn't believe me, ask George and Lenny.  So congratulations, and Happy Journey!

The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla

 

Australia!  I've never been there.  It's a long journey even from here.  There's only about 29 million people for that huge plot of land, but concert crowds can get really big.  Mary has a big fan base there, to my calculations.  You should consider doing some shows in Australia.  No Honey, I don't dress like that.

Someone on Second Life once described the music I do: they called it "apopclectic".  I guess I haven't been anything other than a headliner in decades lol.  You must stop taking gigs where you're not headlining unless the crowd is massive.  You would be in a much better position to help others, plus have greater control and be treated with more respect.  Do more headlining shows in Nashville.  At the Underdog even (though you are now an overdog), do shows in tandem with your stream with Mary.  InshaAllah, you will pack the place.  Sure you'll be up until 4 am, but what else is there to do?