Not the grapes of wrath again

 

Are you getting too much attention?  Then just hide, Honey.

I was at the Tuesday market, when I saw some beautiful purple grapes.  The guy was selling them at 15 bucks for 2 kilos.  That's cheap, so I bought it.  I munched on grapes on the way home, and they were plump, firm, juicy and sweet.  Perfect grapes.  I didn't eat that many, maybe less than 10.  And I found out why they were so cheap: I got diarrhea.  I got the runs so bad, it was like turning on the faucet full blast.

What to do with 2 kilos of grapes?  I can't eat them.  I can't give them away for someone else to eat.  I can't throw them away, that's a lot of grapes and I spent 15 bucks on them!  So I thought I could cook the diarrhea out of the grapes.  There were so many grapes that it took a lot of labor to remove the seeds.  You can see below the end result.  I didn't want to dry them up nor add anything.  The flavor is excellent.  I blended them up, and got the thickness of a V8 vegetable juice.  Too runny for toast, but why not.  There are many ways to use this, from sweetening fried noodles to crushed ice treats.  So far, no more diarrhea.  I would rather have eaten them straight up, though.

Yawn

 

**Yawn**

What did you say to them, Grace?  They're pulling such funny faces.  One of them is obviously missing.

Shure SM57

 

I like that new song!  And the Flying V looks great on you.  Is it comfortable?  And is that a Chanel jacket?  It sure looks like it.  Congratulations on your sold out shows.  I told you Mary has a huge fan base in Japan.  Now you have the option to play at a larger venue, or to have a longer engagement at Blue Note when you return to Japan.  I recommend the longer engagement.  Or you can go on tour, and subject yourself to all that dangerous chaos.  Don't forget the none of you speak Japanese.  I say make them take the train to Tokyo to see you perform live.  If you wanted to see the whole country, make it recreation not business.  Before you leave the country, make sure you keep a tab on your boys so you don't lose any of them.  Black men love Asian women.

Whenever you stream from a venue, please set up a microphone on a stand for Mary.  Just for show.  Just to show that you care about her.  You can remove it for your own set.  She uses a Shure SM57, no wind screen.

Trouble is a friend

 

Hello, beautiful girl!  I knew there was something fishy about that 4:30 pm slot.  Well you can't say anything about it now, so don't.  The lesson to be learned from this is spiritual:  Allah will not change the fate of a people until they change it themselves.  I hope you are enjoying your time in Japan otherwise.  That guy on the bass is not the right guy, by the way.  Take Kinga Glyk as your permanent bassist.

It's the school holidays over here.  This village is crawling with teenage girls on motorcycles.  I'm having ramen for lunch today.  I finally have all the ingredients after a tough last month, namely a beef bone, salted fish heads, garlic, seaweed, carrot, egg, fish cake, okra and a pack of curry flavor ramen.  Oh, and some chicken skin for making artificial bacon bits!  You should try some ramen while you're in Tokyo.  It shouldn't hurt your tummy.

The guitar strap

 

Yes Honey, I saw the Madame President video.  That's a nice production, but I really wanted to see the BBQ.  That vote strap has become somewhat your trademark, no?  I didn't see you wear it at Gibson Japan, so I thought you gave up on it.  What do you think of US debt?  Not many countries are allowed to raise their own debt ceilings.  As long as you maintain your own community, that would be the most patriotic thing you could do.  Food prices are bound to go up, so get ready for that.

The lips move but the instrument sings

 

I'm sorry Honey, but Muslims don't celebrate Halloween.  You look like you had a lot of fun, though.  Wandering around Tokyo alone at night, being with the crowd.  You must love Tokyo.  I'm happy that you got back to your hotel room at 9 pm.  You're a good girl, you know that?  One thing you should know about being a Rock Star is that nobody's going to stop you from doing nasty things, but you won't be able to hide it because you are a Rock Star.  Please be a good girl.

Is that your new white amp?  You got a Mesa Boogie?  Good choice!  It matches your hair.  I love to watch you play guitar.  You have so much purity about it.  Your lips move, but your guitar does the singing.

Hey, check it out!  Lucy killed the Great Pumpkin!  Didn't you write a song called "Lucy"?

Sweetie

 

So are you enjoying the elevator ride up?  Now be careful with what you say over there because the Japanese are sensitive to slander.  It's funny that you would post an aisle of Japanese candy the first thing when you got there.  Which reminds me of Japanese pop music, and their warped sense of femininity.  While American women are generally either ashamed of their femininity or just plain filthy about it, the Japanese gravitate towards the image of a mutant little girl.  I dare you to wear an outfit on stage like the video.  I double dog dare you.

That Japanese candy is flashy, but low quality.  Look around to find the good stuff.  Japan has great food, even though most of it isn't halal so I can't touch it.  I didn't find the frozen yogurt place downtown here.  I could have sworn I saw such a place.  It probably didn't catch on.  What I did see was soft serve.  I suppose it doesn't matter to me since I don't have a sugar addiction.  Besides, the ice cream in the grocery store freezers is pretty good quality.

By the way, I noticed you are gigging in Tempe next February.  Nice gig too, by the canal.  I used to veg out there and watch the water.  Don't expect any help out of my influence there in Tempe, because I was loathed.  What you get out of Tempe is entirely you.  February is a nice time to be in Tempe.  NEVER accept any shows in the Phoenix area during summer.