The sound guy

 

Yes Honey, you're really good at those trade offs.  I told you that you have a genius ear.  Mookie was going easy on you though but you could always move to the front of the stage and do a solo, while he can't go anywhere.  Oh you'll catch up to him, just keep at it.  I couldn't do such challenges myself, I'm out of practice.  Too much songwriting.  And that chick singer I have to work with consumes souls.  Your guitar giving feedback is its way of saying "You're losing!"  Feedback is a musical instrument, however.  Didn't you know that?  It's like an extra tool your electric guitar carries with it.  You can get feedback at low volumes by playing with all that gain you have, and that way you can practice in your bedroom various muting, volume, tremolo and position techniques.  Few people can master this.  Most of them just stand in front of the speaker, wave the guitar around and think themselves artists.

I used to do sound occasionally to help out some friends.  That's what a sound guy usually is: a musician who doesn't deserve to perform.  I guess "deserve" is a harsh word, but someone has to do sound.  And this someone has absolute control of how the crowd perceives your music.  It is wise to have a sound guy as another member of your band, just remember that it's not that simple.  PA stuff is expensive and heavy, and you can get into quarrels with venue, organizers and local government.  Rock and Roll!

Don't mess with my song

 

Yeah, that was exactly the answer I was expecting from you.  The correct answer is, "I love you too".  You're blessed that you're pretty.  PRETTY GIRL!  RIBBONS IN YOUR CURLS!!!  You just wait until I get my paws on you, I'm going to give you a big old smootch on the lips...

I once had a crush on the chick singer of my band.  She said, "Give me a break!" then quit the band the next day.

Yes Honey, I saw some concert footage of you at the SERPENT festival.  YouTube sent it to me.  Some of Slash, too.  Guitar sounds puny overall.  Slash too.  It must be the venue.  Honey you need to get a Marshall stack, get bold and ignore the sound man.  But nobody has the guts to do that anymore.  Oh, I also saw that other video of your band at the Underdog.  I'm sure you realize that it's easier get that kind of tightness in small clubs.  If you don't believe me, try getting that feeling next time you play a festival.  Yes, it can be done.  Consider it a nice little puzzle for you to figure out.

It seems to me that when people want to hear their favorite song live, they hope that it would sound the same as the record.  That's silly, right?  Just go home and play the record!  Actually, it's very serious.  I believe that when people hear their favorite song live, they want to hear it as the record but better.  Not sound better, but feel better.  Oh, they can be nasty about it.  You know this.  This doesn't apply to you as to what Mary does.  But it definitely applies to the singer.

Sleepwalking

 

We don't share the same situation either, Grace.  Your life is marked and defined by significant events, while my existence is like sitting on explosives waiting for it to detonate.  It's been like this for years already, but the vibe gets more and more intense.  When "it" happens, it could go either way for me: either I can finally afford to build a house, get married, buy musical instruments, a car and eat steak, or you never hear Mary's voice and from me ever again.  And "it" could happen at any given moment.

Oh don't worry so much, whatever will be will be.  Thus actually, we're both sleepwalking!  Isn't that cool?  I must tell you that you looked beautiful at the MusiCares benefit.  I'm afraid I can't address whatever anxiety you have, that's something you have to tackle yourself.  It's part of having an active mind.  Some people think useless thoughts, others have constructive thoughts.  Why invest your anxiety on useless thoughts?  I'm actually a very nervous person, even though I don't show it.  It makes me a loud sleeper.  But when I'm sleepwalking, awake rather, I seem to function quite patiently.  Patience is the key, it actually solves all problems.

By the way, I love you.  Do you love me?

Improvise

 

Yes Honey, I watched your interview on CBS mornings.  Is that really live TV?  You talked about your Opry debut, but they didn't show it.  Aren't you supposed to be in NYC in order to be with those guys?  They didn't even mention the billboard in Times Square, which would be a big deal for NYC.  To me it seems that interview was recorded between your benefit show and your Opry debut.

But that was the time Mary was sick.  Ugh, I won't forget that ordeal.  That would have been a true challenge for your improvisation skills, to jam along with a sick chick singer over vocal driven music.  I wouldn't blame you if you had abandoned the situation.  There were still all those people watching and listening, though.  If you had stuck to the gig, it would have been an honorable act for many to witness.  I'm sorry Honey, but she didn't get sick on purpose and she had to work regardless.  What happened was God's play.

I must say that you looked beautiful in that outfit during your album release show.  You looked better with the guitar on your shoulders.  Being on stage isn't the same feeling as being off stage for you, right?  That's where we're not alike Honey, to me they're both the same.  Just know that you're not invulnerable when performing, so please be cautious with the crowd.

Celebrity

 

Love dreamer.  I can only dream of love when I don't know what it is.  I don't know what happiness is, either.  I'm finalizing a mix for a song called "Interested", but I used the words "beautiful dreamer".  Ah, you went for a long drive in your car listening to your hit album!  I bet you were also thinking about your album release show and Jimmy Kimmel live.  I don't have the tendency to listen to my old stuff.  Either I hate it and refuse to hear it, or I like it and now it bores me.  Gotta keep moving on, you know what I mean.  I don't have a car but a motorcycle, and I used to go on long drives in the backwoods too.  Not anymore: I now have important routines to maintain, so I can't drive far.  I hate this damned motorcycle anyway: it's problematic and the kick starter keeps fucking up my hip joints that I can't walk straight sometimes.  Then an old guy at the mosque told me that there's a green snake living in my motorcycle.  He's right of course, but I can't seem to kill it.  It keeps getting away.

So, are you ready to be a celebrity?  You're going to need courage and patience.  We can't have credibility without celebrity nowadays, so please prepare your heart and mind.

Global

 

I love you very much, Grace.  With all of my heart, even.  I wish I could be there with you to share your adventures, but I have to be here.  Asia is intensely active, and I must be where the action is and not just connect with a cell phone.  I wish you could be here with me, but I must marry you first, and I must build a house for you before I marry you.  And you must work.  You must play your guitar.

I saw this video about undersea cables.  It confirmed to me how flimsy cell phone Internet is, also that cell phones are easily hacked.  Go fiberoptic, in order to go global!

A small retrospective

 

Hi Grace!  Hi beautiful girl!  Want some peanuts?  I'm grateful to Allah that you escaped LA unscathed and on top.  That Desert 5 Spot looks smaller than I thought it was.  Is that one of the Jonas brothers?  You're going to be attracting a lot of boys Grace, so please guard your chastity.  I don't want an unfaithful wife.  Your first album is a hit, Honey.  I love "Lucy", it's so beautiful it made me cry so much.  And don't let all those jealous women make you gloomy.  YOU are MY girl, not them.

Anyway, YouTube sent me some of my browsing history from years ago.  I thought I would share a little of it with you, as something for you to watch while you relax and enjoy non-sugary snacks.  Mick Karn is incredible, too bad he's dead.  It's eerie that Angie Bowie read him a poem about a dead man while staring at him in the face.