Letter to Erin 20160519

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my beautiful Erin!  How's the view, Boss Model?  Are you sharing the wealth?  Please make sure you keep some for yourself so you can live well.  Don't give it all away.  I give my heart to take care of you as best as I can, so please look after yourself.  You are my love, I love you and I need you.

Today has been a trial of patience for me.  All petty stuff though, so I have no reason to flip out.  I'm trying to clear out all the junk around your house inshaAllah but I can't burn, so that frustrates me.  I'll always be an outlaw, even when I'm trying as hard as I can to be halal.  Rain clouds have been thick the past few days, but very little rain.  Hm.  Anyway, after the night prayer it started to rain and I was able to burn whatever was in my fire pit down, so there was no point in my grumbling.  Another 5 more loads then I can begin accumulating debris again.

Floofy is my favorite kitty I suppose, because I love all my kitties.  But Floofy is the only one I allow into my bedroom, so I guess that's why she's my favorite.  She's a fat cat, but I love fat cats.  Fat cats are cute, but fat humans are not.  So I give her cat food whenever she asks for it.  This afternoon, she was asking for food and eating it over and over again, so I gave it to her.  Then she asked to leave the room.  I watched her: she puked out all the food I gave her in front of her daughters, and they ate it all up.  Bleah!  Is that what you would call generous?  Hey Floofy, I don't want your kittens to get as bloated as you, so I give them a set amount of food!  So I suppose the solution is to get all of them bloated.  But what if they all puke?

Food.  I had to use up the rest of that scad fillet, so I made the same dish as 2 days ago, but with a variation.  So it's like a brick of Ramen with thick curry sauce and scad, with vegetables and a side of sauteed onions, garlic and mustard green stems.  Looks good.  Tasted good, alhamdulillah.  Dinner was pizza.  I didn't take a photo of that.

Qur'an 20160519

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

17.  In blasphemy indeed are those that say that Allah is Christ the son of Mary.  Say, "Who then has the least power against Allah if God's Will were to destroy Christ the son of Mary, his mother and all, everyone that is on the earth?  For to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth and all that is between.  God creates what God pleases.  For Allah has power over all things."

(The Repast 5:17)
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Letter to Erin 20160518

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Say, what do they serve at "The Famous Cock" anyway?  It must be some kind of public house.  Not to be confused with the bookstore called "The Camus Fock".  Do they allow women in there?  I was hoping it would be a place that serves exotic foods.  It can't be that they serve...  No!  Don't serve that stuff to my sweet, innocent Erin!  I love her and I need her!

I found a video on YouTube where in Vietnam, some men eat dog penis to increase thier virility.  No, I didn't actually see them eat dog penis.  There was just this one vendor boasting that men can eat dog penis and become better men.  Doesn't that seem like a contradiction to you?  That a man eat penis to become a better man?  My boy cats are giving me trouble lately.  Bob Cat got his gums all red somehow.  He doesn't eat cat food very often, but he's not thin, so he must catch his food.  But cat food is good for cat teeth.  I've seen cats with serious mouth diseases before, so I pray that he doesn't get worse, but for now it looks like simple gingivitis.  I'm going to have to douse his gums with rubbing alcohol whenever I see him until his condition improves.  Then Bat Cat is sensitive to moisture.  It's been raining lately, and he like to dig around in the mud and scrub, probably looking for game.  He's a mud cat, which is great but he attracts fungus.  So I have to feed him anti fungal pills.  Have you ever tried to feed a cat a pill?

I spent the evening cutting grass.  Grass sure grows quickly around here.  It seems like I'm always cutting grass.  Now that the rain has returned, the clover is growing again.  I like clover.  I want the clover to take over the whole yard, at my little house and at your house inshaAllah, because clover grows short and it hampers the growth of other grasses.  So I cut the grass until it's right at clover level, so the clover will dominate.  But the clover needs to be watered.  After I finished cutting grass, the whole sky was dark with rain clouds.  And I saw about 500 cranes flying in from the west, against the wind.

I made a batch of dough this morning.  I put up my dough recipe for you and for others to see.  It's a simple dough, made from flour, water, yeast, salt, and oil.  The greedy cat was nosing around me while I made the dough, licking her lips.  Dough has to be made regularly if you want to get good at it.  Dough is subject to environmental conditions.  For example, in Malaysia I always use water at room temperature even on cold days, but in USA I always make sure the water is at 110 degrees in winter.  Some people like to control water content to control the quality of the dough, but I find it easier to control the flour content and keep the water amount constant.  I used to make the dough hard so it would last longer, but nowadays I make it soft then I freeze it, and defrost a portion whenever I need it.  Lunch was noodles in shrimp head broth.  Very tasty.  Want some?

Please make a donation of a minimum of one US dollar or one British pound to a worthwhile charity.

Please allow me to say something to Antonia.

Hey there!  I must say that you looked great at Cannes.  I think you look your best when dressed formally.  Plus your face looks much more relaxed nowadays.  Do you have a camera?  Can you take a photo of your camera?  The only camera I have is on my cell phone, and it's crummy.  Be cool, Antonia.  Please make a donation of a minimum of one Euro to a worthwhile charity.

Letter to Erin 20160517

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Dreamer Girl!  Those public freakout videos are awesome, huh?  I'm sure you were chuckling to yourself at random times, thinking about them.  The human race is insane for the most part.  Psychoanalyze the psychiatrists.  As long as you don't freak out in public, I say.  So keep your cool, my darling.  Please pray.  I love you and I need you.

As you know, as my wife you are automatically a professional endorser of food products.  So don't abstain from enjoying good food just to be political.  I'm sure you know not to overeat.  Some people might think that by eating everything and anything, they cover the entire food market, but that's wrong.  They exclude themselves from halal food, which is business in trillions of dollars yearly.  What is halal?  Generally meat from livestock slaughtered by Muslims who invoke the name of Allah.  As Muslims, we must invoke the name of Allah before the first bite.  The Qur'an provides a guide as to what meat is halal in verse 5:3.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

Forbidden to you are carrion, blood, the flesh of swine, and that on which has been invoked the name of other than Allah, that which has been killed by strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall, or being gored to death, that which has been eaten by a wild animal unless you are able to slaughter it, that which is sacrificed on stone, also the division by raffling with arrows: that is impiety.  This day have those who reject faith given up all hope of your religion.  Yet fear them not but fear Us.  This day have We perfected your religion for you, completed Our favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.  But if any is forced by hunger with no inclination to transgression, Allah is indeed Oft-Forgiving, most Merciful.  (The Repast 5:3)

Fish and insects (I hear that grasshoppers are delicious in Africa) do not need to be slaughtered.  I suggest you follow the Qur'an and forget what people have to say when it comes to food that is halal, if you want to try being halal.  Don't stuff your head with things that make life difficult.  Allah is most Gracious and Oft-Forgiving, while humans are nitpicky and vengeful.  When we are married inshaAllah, it will be a different situation for you, as I will take the blame for what you eat.

Please allow me to say something to Antonia.

Hi Antonia.  You look great in your Cannes outfit.  What do people do at that festival anyway?  Dress up and watch movies?  Remind me to style your hair when we get together inshaAllah.

Qur'an 20160517

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

4.  They ask you what is lawful to them.  Say, "Lawful unto you are things good and pure, and what you have taught your trained hunting animals in the manner directed to you by Allah.  Eat what they catch for you, but pronounce the name of Allah over it, and fear Allah for Allah is swift in Taking Account."

(The Repast 5:4)
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Allah the supreme Accountant means that Allah is the supreme Mathematician!  Science and mathematics must be taught in Islamic schools!

Letter to Erin 20160516

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again beautiful Erin!  How are you today, my beloved?  Are you following the trail of philanthropy?  I guess it would be just as good to follow as to lead in this case.  Beautiful heart.  I love you and I need you.

There seems to be heavy rain on the horizon here right now.  I learned from experience that rain is heavier when the sky is grey than black.  The thunder is rolling, there's a constant rumble of thunder in the near distance, like a feedback loop.  But Allah is the One Who brings down the rain.  I was about to break down the trash on my yard to be burned, when I was distracted by some fried noodles.  I've accumulated much wood and bamboo and stuff from chainsawing around your house inshaAllah, and I need to burn it.  The local government has been very touchy lately about open burning, with sound environmental reasons, but I have a bricked in fire pit over concrete and a water hose, and I'm not setting fire in a forest or pasture.  It's not as if I can stuff all that trash in the dumpster.  And it's not just a matter of destroying trash, I need to accumulate soil for my baby mangoes.  So I have to wait until it rains, and hope all that trash burns in the rain.

I have been watching a new show available on YouTube: public freakouts!  Oh my God, it's so entertaining.  These freakouts are usually stoked by drugs and alcohol, but some of the people are clearly sober.  Always at a burger shop, pizza joint, bus, train and I found one in a lecture hall.  Can you picture yourself freaking out in public, you emotional fish?  The world is a stage, so keep your cool!  People instinct is to laugh, but I think it would be funnier to do a tap dance or a series of back flips while someone is freaking out in public.  Spread the distraction!  I'm joking!  They're all entertaining, but I hope you catch the blonde in NYC slamming into taxicabs saying "I'm sorry!  I'm sorry!"

Letter to Erin 20160515

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello beautiful Erin!  How are you today, my love?  Wow, what a pretty girl!  And I love  your freckles.  They match your sweet personality, so don't lose your sweetness OK?  You can tell that I'm in a better mood today.  You can always tell that my mood is improving when I start to meow again.  The heat didn't suck my energy away today, and it rained in the evening.  Lots of rain, much lightning, loud thunder.  I hope you are having a great time wherever you are, and please stay safe.  I love you and I need you.

I didn't post any photos last time, huh?  I have plenty today.  I'm giving a lot of my recipes away, for you, but mostly for the community so hopefully they will start cooking up something other than the same old shit.  Not that I dislike the local cuisine, some of it is awesome.  But some of the natural foods here are so good and there's a huge variety, it's a shame to prepare them only one way.  Anyway, I have my stuffed won ton routine posted here.  You can try it too, I'm sure you can find all the stuff you need in NYC.  You have to use a high heat though, so be careful and have the fire extinguisher ready.  And when you start collecting a pile of won tons, make sure they don't stick to each other or the tray you arrange them in.  Obviously I had won tons for lunch, and dinner was a sausage, tofu, tomato, and onion pizza.  Want some?

Please allow me to say something to Antonia.

Hi there!  You seem a little calmer lately, or is that your "business as usual" face?  You seem the total philanthropist lately, and I'm proud of you for that.  Kick some ass, OK?