Hey there beautiful Erin. Hey Baby!!! Hey Gorgeous!!! How's my beautiful sweetheart feeling today? Well, I think of you all the time. Always on my mind. It's a mundane day for me today, I didn't go out anywhere but to buy some mackerel and vegetables for a chicken dinner. I thought at first to sashimi the mackerel, then I got lazy and just fried the whole lot to a crispy fry. I ate nine fish. Urgh. I won't do that again. Next time it's sashimi or sushi or whatever. The cats had a great lunch, though. The chicken dinner was classier. I slow cooked the chicken breast in margarine (I didn't have any butter). I had lots of dough, so I made a couple of tortillas. Then I wrapped up the chicken with cashew shoots, oyster mushroom, tomatoes burrito style with mayo and mole sauce. One for you, one for me. You weren't here, so I ate yours. After dinner, I recorded a bit of original guitar for somebody's birthday. And now I'm writing a love letter. To my Erin! You sweetheart. I love you, and I need you.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Letter to Erin 20150226
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hey there beautiful Erin. Hey Baby!!! Hey Gorgeous!!! How's my beautiful sweetheart feeling today? Well, I think of you all the time. Always on my mind. It's a mundane day for me today, I didn't go out anywhere but to buy some mackerel and vegetables for a chicken dinner. I thought at first to sashimi the mackerel, then I got lazy and just fried the whole lot to a crispy fry. I ate nine fish. Urgh. I won't do that again. Next time it's sashimi or sushi or whatever. The cats had a great lunch, though. The chicken dinner was classier. I slow cooked the chicken breast in margarine (I didn't have any butter). I had lots of dough, so I made a couple of tortillas. Then I wrapped up the chicken with cashew shoots, oyster mushroom, tomatoes burrito style with mayo and mole sauce. One for you, one for me. You weren't here, so I ate yours. After dinner, I recorded a bit of original guitar for somebody's birthday. And now I'm writing a love letter. To my Erin! You sweetheart. I love you, and I need you.
Hey there beautiful Erin. Hey Baby!!! Hey Gorgeous!!! How's my beautiful sweetheart feeling today? Well, I think of you all the time. Always on my mind. It's a mundane day for me today, I didn't go out anywhere but to buy some mackerel and vegetables for a chicken dinner. I thought at first to sashimi the mackerel, then I got lazy and just fried the whole lot to a crispy fry. I ate nine fish. Urgh. I won't do that again. Next time it's sashimi or sushi or whatever. The cats had a great lunch, though. The chicken dinner was classier. I slow cooked the chicken breast in margarine (I didn't have any butter). I had lots of dough, so I made a couple of tortillas. Then I wrapped up the chicken with cashew shoots, oyster mushroom, tomatoes burrito style with mayo and mole sauce. One for you, one for me. You weren't here, so I ate yours. After dinner, I recorded a bit of original guitar for somebody's birthday. And now I'm writing a love letter. To my Erin! You sweetheart. I love you, and I need you.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Letter to Erin 20150224
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
I am a creature of feedback. Guitars, drums, singing, my life is a lot of feedback. Like a fractal. So when I can't hear my voice, I can't sing properly. I wind up over exerting, and ruining my voice. But I can't record with the PA system cranked up- I have to use headphones. But I didn't have the right kind of headphones: the price of poverty. So when I had to record a birthday song for somebody, I taped a set of speakers to a plastic clothes hanger, padded it with kitchen sponges, and tied the contraption on my head. Recording vocals is difficult enough because I'm so self critical, but the ordeal made me seriously depressed. Musical instruments are useless in heaven. Mere toys to pass the time. But here on Earth in this life, they serve as weapons of propaganda and intimidation. Ya Allah, please bear Witness that I serve you with music. Please grant me all the musical and computer equipment that I desire.
Erin, when you answer questions for an interview, you need to remember that you're not in a court of law and under oath. I'm not telling you to lie: I'm telling you to give answers that make you happy, even if it's irrelevant to the question. For example, if someone asks you "fake tan or real tan?" you should answer "no tan". Well, that's what makes me happy. I don't want you to have a tan, because I like smooth, white skin. I want you to stay fit, have no tan, and be as blonde as humanly possible because that's what I like. After all, the crowd doesn't give a rat's ass about your happiness, but I do. Because I love you, and I need you.
I am a creature of feedback. Guitars, drums, singing, my life is a lot of feedback. Like a fractal. So when I can't hear my voice, I can't sing properly. I wind up over exerting, and ruining my voice. But I can't record with the PA system cranked up- I have to use headphones. But I didn't have the right kind of headphones: the price of poverty. So when I had to record a birthday song for somebody, I taped a set of speakers to a plastic clothes hanger, padded it with kitchen sponges, and tied the contraption on my head. Recording vocals is difficult enough because I'm so self critical, but the ordeal made me seriously depressed. Musical instruments are useless in heaven. Mere toys to pass the time. But here on Earth in this life, they serve as weapons of propaganda and intimidation. Ya Allah, please bear Witness that I serve you with music. Please grant me all the musical and computer equipment that I desire.
Erin, when you answer questions for an interview, you need to remember that you're not in a court of law and under oath. I'm not telling you to lie: I'm telling you to give answers that make you happy, even if it's irrelevant to the question. For example, if someone asks you "fake tan or real tan?" you should answer "no tan". Well, that's what makes me happy. I don't want you to have a tan, because I like smooth, white skin. I want you to stay fit, have no tan, and be as blonde as humanly possible because that's what I like. After all, the crowd doesn't give a rat's ass about your happiness, but I do. Because I love you, and I need you.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Letter to Erin 20150222
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
I don't seem to have much variety in my cooler lately. I usually stock up right at the beginning of the month, now I'm running out of options. I try to stay within my budget, and right now I'm budgeted for cat food. Hey, I love my kitties. So tonight I had hot dogs. My Dad gave me some hot dogs a couple of weeks ago. How creative can you get with hot dogs? I would love to see hot dogs as the theme ingredient on Iron Chef. AAEEEP-KEEZEEEM!!! (yeah I know he said Allez Cuisine, but it sure sounds like AAEEEP-KEEZEEEM) So I wrapped the hot dogs in yuba bean curd, and pan fried it. It tasted quite good actually, but I should have used a non-stick pan.
I have to mention how beautiful and sexy you are in your SI photos. Your body seems fuller than it was 6 years ago, and I like it. I find it very arousing. AAAAA!!! I don't want anyone else to see it! I've been getting a lot of heat about your work, but I stand by you. After all, I must be grateful as to what Allah has given me. Don't you agree? Please dress modestly when you are not working. Erin I love you, and I need you.
I don't seem to have much variety in my cooler lately. I usually stock up right at the beginning of the month, now I'm running out of options. I try to stay within my budget, and right now I'm budgeted for cat food. Hey, I love my kitties. So tonight I had hot dogs. My Dad gave me some hot dogs a couple of weeks ago. How creative can you get with hot dogs? I would love to see hot dogs as the theme ingredient on Iron Chef. AAEEEP-KEEZEEEM!!! (yeah I know he said Allez Cuisine, but it sure sounds like AAEEEP-KEEZEEEM) So I wrapped the hot dogs in yuba bean curd, and pan fried it. It tasted quite good actually, but I should have used a non-stick pan.
I have to mention how beautiful and sexy you are in your SI photos. Your body seems fuller than it was 6 years ago, and I like it. I find it very arousing. AAAAA!!! I don't want anyone else to see it! I've been getting a lot of heat about your work, but I stand by you. After all, I must be grateful as to what Allah has given me. Don't you agree? Please dress modestly when you are not working. Erin I love you, and I need you.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Letter to Erin 20150220
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Lately there has been so much garbage on Google under your search string. Some of them get top ranking in the search even with only one view. Yeah, fame is not a blessing. So obviously, I cannot take every video seriously but more than that, I can only consider the professional productions under familiar names with any ounce of credibility. If you are trying to communicate something to me, I'm afraid you are going to have to be smarter than your detractors. And yes my beloved darling Erin, I have feelings too.
Marriage is certainly a very serious business, and with us it is even more serious considering who we are. I remind you again that I cannot be married to a non-Muslim. As for the actual wedding, there will have to be two wedding ceremonies: the first one for me, and the second one for you, and both of them Islamic. I want a simple ceremony at the local mosque, followed by your housewarming party. You can have whatever ceremony you please, for I'm sure your bosses and your family will want to get involved. I'm sure you have gotten hooked on sandy tropical beaches but before you make me travel to an unfamiliar place under vague security protocols, please check out Langkawi, Malaysia. Yeah it's a tourist trap, but it's pretty. You must place your trust in my conduct of our business of marriage. For I am your husband and I study the Qur'an, where I receive inspiration and guidance from Allah, that Allah will grant us security and happiness inshaAllah.
This is a spiritual matter my dearest Erin, and there is no joking about it. You are such a sweetheart Erin, and I want you to be happy with me, and us to be happy together. I love you, and I need you.
Lately there has been so much garbage on Google under your search string. Some of them get top ranking in the search even with only one view. Yeah, fame is not a blessing. So obviously, I cannot take every video seriously but more than that, I can only consider the professional productions under familiar names with any ounce of credibility. If you are trying to communicate something to me, I'm afraid you are going to have to be smarter than your detractors. And yes my beloved darling Erin, I have feelings too.
Marriage is certainly a very serious business, and with us it is even more serious considering who we are. I remind you again that I cannot be married to a non-Muslim. As for the actual wedding, there will have to be two wedding ceremonies: the first one for me, and the second one for you, and both of them Islamic. I want a simple ceremony at the local mosque, followed by your housewarming party. You can have whatever ceremony you please, for I'm sure your bosses and your family will want to get involved. I'm sure you have gotten hooked on sandy tropical beaches but before you make me travel to an unfamiliar place under vague security protocols, please check out Langkawi, Malaysia. Yeah it's a tourist trap, but it's pretty. You must place your trust in my conduct of our business of marriage. For I am your husband and I study the Qur'an, where I receive inspiration and guidance from Allah, that Allah will grant us security and happiness inshaAllah.
This is a spiritual matter my dearest Erin, and there is no joking about it. You are such a sweetheart Erin, and I want you to be happy with me, and us to be happy together. I love you, and I need you.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Letter to Erin 20150217
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Aw Erin, I've only been gone a day. You sweetheart, I love you so. I have to commute 8km each way to blog, and I ride my motorcycle real slow, because commute is more dangerous for me than other people. So I don't want to blog every day if possible. If I had home Internet I would probably blog everyday, at least a journal of sorts. Got to keep things mundane if you want to raise a family. This also happens to be my week of isolation, where I stay away from the Internet and people in general. It has nothing to do with you, In fact, I wish you were with me to share my isolation. I love you, and I need you.
Pretty much all of the houses and buildings here are made of solid brick. You're not going to find wooden stud frames covered by drywall and plaster here. I think the issue is termites. The old style traditional houses were made of wood, but no more. Something else you need to consider is that there are no basements here. That's because of flooding. In fact, I see more and more buildings with raised foundations nowadays. When the time and money comes to me inshaAllah, I will have to demolish my grandfather's old house to make room for yours. That's a lot of trash, and it's not as if I can just burn the wooden parts. My aunt suggested that I recycle as much as possible, and that would take a slow and systematic demolition. There's a lot of stone, though. Anyway! I'll cross that bridge when I get there inshaAllah. You just draw yourself up a nice house, OK?
Aw Erin, I've only been gone a day. You sweetheart, I love you so. I have to commute 8km each way to blog, and I ride my motorcycle real slow, because commute is more dangerous for me than other people. So I don't want to blog every day if possible. If I had home Internet I would probably blog everyday, at least a journal of sorts. Got to keep things mundane if you want to raise a family. This also happens to be my week of isolation, where I stay away from the Internet and people in general. It has nothing to do with you, In fact, I wish you were with me to share my isolation. I love you, and I need you.
Pretty much all of the houses and buildings here are made of solid brick. You're not going to find wooden stud frames covered by drywall and plaster here. I think the issue is termites. The old style traditional houses were made of wood, but no more. Something else you need to consider is that there are no basements here. That's because of flooding. In fact, I see more and more buildings with raised foundations nowadays. When the time and money comes to me inshaAllah, I will have to demolish my grandfather's old house to make room for yours. That's a lot of trash, and it's not as if I can just burn the wooden parts. My aunt suggested that I recycle as much as possible, and that would take a slow and systematic demolition. There's a lot of stone, though. Anyway! I'll cross that bridge when I get there inshaAllah. You just draw yourself up a nice house, OK?
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Letter to Erin 20150215
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Erin, what are you doing carrying that guy on your back? And wearing high heels! If you were to trip, you would have broken your ankle. Please don't hurt yourself. Please please please I love you I love you, you are so beautiful. I would be mortified if you had hurt yourself. Please don't hurt yourself. Please take sweet loving care of yourself, and avoid alcohol and drugs. I love you, and I need you.
I didn't like hearing that you have a perpetual habit of nip slipping. I guess it's the part of me that wants you all to myself. I'm getting a picture in my head of nip slips in rapid succession spraying sand and seawater like machine gun fire and putting peoples eyes out. AAAAAAARGHHH!!!! Did you say that they have a mind of their own? Does that mean that I can paste some form of artificial intelligence on them and control them with an iPad?
You raised a good point when you said that you (or women) are monogamous. Perhaps you were referring to employment? I guess that means that men are not. Well, I can assure you that I don't slut around. All I do is stay home or go out to shop or blog. I have no privacy so I wouldn't get away with that, and at the very least my parents can vouch for me. So women are monogamous? Have you ever seen the Jerry Springer show?
You seem very comfortable with Dan Patrick's gang. At first they were super nice to you, now it seems they don't know how to behave. When a man is nice to a woman, it means he wants to pork her. And if not, he still wants to pork her. I guess it's the nature of virility, or compensation for the lack thereof. I'm not trying to justify the nature of men. I don't even enjoy their company, that's probably why I don't enjoy sports. I would rather hang out with you.
Erin, what are you doing carrying that guy on your back? And wearing high heels! If you were to trip, you would have broken your ankle. Please don't hurt yourself. Please please please I love you I love you, you are so beautiful. I would be mortified if you had hurt yourself. Please don't hurt yourself. Please take sweet loving care of yourself, and avoid alcohol and drugs. I love you, and I need you.
I didn't like hearing that you have a perpetual habit of nip slipping. I guess it's the part of me that wants you all to myself. I'm getting a picture in my head of nip slips in rapid succession spraying sand and seawater like machine gun fire and putting peoples eyes out. AAAAAAARGHHH!!!! Did you say that they have a mind of their own? Does that mean that I can paste some form of artificial intelligence on them and control them with an iPad?
You raised a good point when you said that you (or women) are monogamous. Perhaps you were referring to employment? I guess that means that men are not. Well, I can assure you that I don't slut around. All I do is stay home or go out to shop or blog. I have no privacy so I wouldn't get away with that, and at the very least my parents can vouch for me. So women are monogamous? Have you ever seen the Jerry Springer show?
You seem very comfortable with Dan Patrick's gang. At first they were super nice to you, now it seems they don't know how to behave. When a man is nice to a woman, it means he wants to pork her. And if not, he still wants to pork her. I guess it's the nature of virility, or compensation for the lack thereof. I'm not trying to justify the nature of men. I don't even enjoy their company, that's probably why I don't enjoy sports. I would rather hang out with you.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Letter to Erin 20150213
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Traveling? Oh, you beautiful little busy bee. Please take care of yourself, and relax my dear. And try to enjoy yourself, as much as you can now that you have become a princess. You are my Rock and Roll princess. But protocol can be so stifling sometimes, do you agree? I'm glad my agenda requires me to stand my ground here. I'm weary of travel, and I want to build a house for you. I saw you on Olbermann, and Fox & friends. You are so beautiful, my Erin. If your video is on Google, you can take it for granted that I will see it. It's probably easier for your camp to control the content, after all, there's so much garbage on th Internet. Plus lately, it hasn't been easy for my TV to tune outside of Google.
I'll have you know that I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, so please don't expect a letter from me tomorrow. Sure some Muslims celebrate Valentine's Day so as to be part of the crowd and market, but not me. I refuse to join partners with Allah. It's been a very lonely life, and Allah has been pretty much my only friend, so it matters to me. You understand that, right? I hereby declare February 13 as "I don't need one day each year to remind me to love you because I love you every day Day."
It's almost your birthday but I'm still broke, so please don't anticipate your ring just yet. I'm afraid I have no choice but to live a spiritual lifestyle, so I'll get the money when Allah gives it to me. Then would come the process of setting up home Internet, getting a camera, and all that blah. So please forgive me and be patient with me. Meanwhile, please enjoy being a princess, just don't forget Allah. And don't forget me, either. I love you, and I need you.
Traveling? Oh, you beautiful little busy bee. Please take care of yourself, and relax my dear. And try to enjoy yourself, as much as you can now that you have become a princess. You are my Rock and Roll princess. But protocol can be so stifling sometimes, do you agree? I'm glad my agenda requires me to stand my ground here. I'm weary of travel, and I want to build a house for you. I saw you on Olbermann, and Fox & friends. You are so beautiful, my Erin. If your video is on Google, you can take it for granted that I will see it. It's probably easier for your camp to control the content, after all, there's so much garbage on th Internet. Plus lately, it hasn't been easy for my TV to tune outside of Google.
I'll have you know that I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, so please don't expect a letter from me tomorrow. Sure some Muslims celebrate Valentine's Day so as to be part of the crowd and market, but not me. I refuse to join partners with Allah. It's been a very lonely life, and Allah has been pretty much my only friend, so it matters to me. You understand that, right? I hereby declare February 13 as "I don't need one day each year to remind me to love you because I love you every day Day."
It's almost your birthday but I'm still broke, so please don't anticipate your ring just yet. I'm afraid I have no choice but to live a spiritual lifestyle, so I'll get the money when Allah gives it to me. Then would come the process of setting up home Internet, getting a camera, and all that blah. So please forgive me and be patient with me. Meanwhile, please enjoy being a princess, just don't forget Allah. And don't forget me, either. I love you, and I need you.
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