Letter to Julia 20120326

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

For dinner last night I had fried noodles. Fried noodles, or mee goreng as it is called here in Malaysia, is a common dish. Everyone knows what it is and eats it, and has some version of it when cooking it for themselves. I find that the common dishes are the hardest to perfect. I know very few of the traditional Malaysian dishes, because I'm too lazy to learn probably, and I'm such a chaotic cook. I like to go with the flow, you know, and cook up whatever I feel like eating at the particular moment. And when I have no money, I cook up whatever I have at the moment. I have 100 or so different versions of mee goreng, for the simple reason that I'm such a chaotic cook. It's not that I can't stick to a recipe, after all, I used to make the same pizza over and over again from scratch for the masses back during the pizza days. Did you know that the most difficult pizza to cook perfectly is a plain cheese pizza?

Anyway, fried noodles, or chow mein, or lo mein, or mee goreng. The essential element is the noodles, of course. For mee goreng, it would the the course noodles made usually of flour, eggs, grease, salt and water. The dough is extruded into yellowish noodles and mixed with more grease to maintain separation, portioned then packaged while still moist. Over in the USA, you wouldn't find moist egg noodles too easily. They would be dried, and you would have to moisten it yourself usually, but if you can, try to obtain the moist kind. First, you must prepare the fond in a wok. Fond is what you would call a sauce you would cook up to coat the noodles. A typical fond would be to fry up chopped garlic, onions, celery, soy sauce, etc until you get a dark, greasy, salty paste. Last night, I used onion, chicken liver, chilli paste, and salted soybeans. I like to perceive fried noodles like making a salad: toss the noodles into the fond as you would toss the salad until they are well mixed, then turn down the heat and add your pre-cooked meats and vegetables at the very end, so the veggies don't lose their snap, then toss it all together and turn off the fire.

I really don't consider myself the best mee goreng cook. There are certainly better mee goreng cooks out there. When you get here, I'll take you out to one of my favorite places for fried noodles. InsyaAllah. I hope you like it.

Qur'an 20120326

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

59. Say: "Praise be to Allah, and Peace on God's servants whom God has chosen. Who's better? Allah or the false gods they associate?"

60. Or, who has created the heavens and the earth, and who sends you down rain from the sky? Yes, with it We cause to grow well-planted orchards full of beauty and delight. It is not in your power to cause the growth of the trees in them. God besides Allah? No, they are a people who swerve from justice.

61. Or, who has made the earth firm to live in, made rivers in its midst, set thereon mountains immovable, and made a separating bar between the two bodies of flowing water? God besides Allah? No, most of them know not.

62. Or, who listens to the distressed when it calls on God, who relieves its suffering, and makes you inheritors of the earth? God besides Allah? Little it is that you heed!

63. Or, who guides you through the depths of darkness on land and sea, and who sends the winds as heralds of glad tidings, going before God's mercy? God besides Allah? High is Allah above what they associate with God!

64. Or, who originates Creation, then repeats it, and who gives you sustenance from heaven and earth? God besides Allah? Say, "Bring forth your argument, if you are telling the truth!"

65. Say, "None in the heavens or on earth, except Allah, knows what is hidden. Nor can they perceive when they shall be raised up."

66. Still less can their knowledge comprehend the Hereafter. No, they are in doubt and uncertainty thereat. No, they are blind thereunto!

67. The unbelievers say, "What! When we become dust, we and our fathers, shall we really be raised?"

68. "It is true we were promised this, we and our fathers before. These are nothing but tales of the ancients."

69. Say, "Go you through the earth, and see what has been the end of those guilty."

70. But grieve not over them, nor distress yourself because of their plots.

71. They also say, "When is this promise, if you are truthful?"

72. Say, "It may be that some of the events which you wish to hasten may be in your pursuit!"

73. But verily your Lord is full of grace to humans, yet most of them are ungrateful.

The Ants 27:59-73

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Praise be to Allah, and Peace on God's servants whom God has chosen. Who's better? Allah or the false gods they associate?

Bring forth your argument, if you are telling the truth!

None in the heavens or on earth, except Allah, knows what is hidden. Nor can they perceive when they shall be raised up.

Go you through the earth, and see what has been the end of those guilty.

It may be that some of the events which you wish to hasten may be in your pursuit!

Letter to Julia 20120324

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I have been in the music business as a musician for 32 years already, counting the time I was a teenager tooting away on a recorder. Granted, I was clueless and overly concerned about making friends for too many years of that time. I am quite used to the lack of privacy and the dangers of fame by now, not that I like it or approve of it. I have discovered that I'm naturally the loner, I am hardly ever interested in seeking attention, and very stubborn once I've made a decision as to what I want. And I want to marry you, because I love you, and you are all I could ever dream of in a girl. My point is that you are probably more susceptible to the bickerings and whinings of others, as you are still young and have only been modeling for 9 years, and you probably do give somewhat of a shit about what other people say about you. This includes the marriage to me, so it is easy for others to try to threaten and sway you instead of me, considering I'm not there by your side to distract them, and that I'm such a blockhead. This is your time, my love. The spotlight is on you, so please be strong, strengthen your heart, and please know that I do care about you very much, and am waiting patiently for the time when Allah allows us to be happily married together. InsyaAllah.

So obviously I'm waiting for some sort of windfall to be able to marry you, after all, I refuse to give you my poverty. When Allah grants me thus, insyaAllah, first I must remodel this house for marriage. I would like to complete the remodeling before I go and get you, but my parents are old, and I would like for them to attend our wedding before they pass away. So I will at least complete the master bedroom and your office/closet with bathroom, then we can finish the house together. Please don't be too fussy, because I prefer small houses! Look, if you really, really want a big house, we can work it out insyaAllah, but let's start with this small house, and expand SLOWLY. You would be in a better position to exert "control" once you're here and we're legally married. Heh heh. I'm pretty easy-going, and I love my wife. What matters to me is that my parents get to witness our wedding, and that we stay married and loving each other for 2 lifetimes together. But let's do start with this small house that I'm already in, and by the time you're here, I would obviously no longer be financially paralyzed, otherwise I wouldn't make the trip to Germany at all. I hope we can carry on life as usual as they put in a new roof, and I also hope you like cats and chickens. Anyway, when I'm ready, I will go to Germany to get you, insyaAllah, and you must be there to meet me and be easy to find, for your absence will be a confirmation that you are not interested in this marriage. I will seek you out at the the offices of the Louisa Modeling Agency, I will give notice of my intended arrival, and please pray that I will have a safe and easy journey. Please remember to prepare a female chaperon for your journey to Malaysia, and wedded bliss. InsyaAllah.

The problem with control is that humans are out of control. They rebel against God for the purpose of ARROGANCE, and this is true up to the highest ranking and wealthiest humans. God warns in the Qur'an that the Signs of God are sent to put fear in people, but this fear only increases their inordinate transgression. That is why patience is the weapon of choice for the righteous, to wait until God deals directly with the stubborn transgressors from directions they do not perceive.

Letter to Julia 20120321

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I hope you're not going around telling people what's lawful or unlawful in Islam when you don't really know, or worse if you made it up. If people need guidance, then guide them to the Qur'an, or to a legitimate imam or teacher. You are a supermodel, not an imam. You and I are still learning the Qur'an, and how our lives pertain to it. The Qur'an is to be learned slowly, so please work on your own heart, and take your time, before you would tell others what to do in the name of Allah.

Anyway, squid. Yes, instead of buying half a kilo of mackerel, I found a pretty fair deal on half a kilo of squid at only RM2 more. They were kind of smallish, but I had half a kilo to work with. After all, squid tastes like squid, and more squid tastes squiddier, right? Well, maybe. Have you ever had squid jerky? Now, that really tastes like squid. A cowboy once told me that squid jerky tastes almost like chicken. Anyway, fresh squid SHRINKS when cooked. One wouldn't think so when eating deep-fried calamari rings, but when I stuffed my squid with fried eggplant and cream cheese, the squid squirted it all out when cooked, and turned my broth into a sickly looking white. It tasted OK, but it looked like hell. Meanwhile, the bigger squid shrunk to the size of half a pinkie, while the small ones shrunk to the size of a thumbtack. I thought I would tie the tops up with toothpicks, but I didn't have any. Lesson learned. Next time, I'll buy the big (and more expensive) squid, and stuff squid only with squid.

But it is always better to prepare your own food, and from the freshest ingredients. Given our position and who we are, certainly we are aware that we have no privacy. But it's not just cameras and microphones pointed at us. Observe again how numerous the cases are of celebrities who die in their own homes, or during their daily routines. In the name of "entertainment". But the warning is from Allah: that the war against evil is real, and we must make the effort to oppose evil, and not simply lie down and let them overwhelm us. Seek protection with Allah against evil, for strong as the others may be, the Strongest is Allah.

Letter to Julia 20120319

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

YOOOOLIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!

How are you today, my love? I'm sure you are staying busy as usual. I pray you are eating properly and maintaining your prayers. I've been on sort of a diet, well, mostly because I've had less money for ingredients. I need to spend more time on the Internet, just "being there", y'know. Work, work, work. Also, I've been adding more time to my rehearsals. Trying to push that stamina, y'know. Call me Karen Carpenter, I suppose.

I sure don't look like her. You look like her more than I do, but much healthier of course. Singing-wise, I relate most to Karen over the others. We're both Pisces, if you believe in that shit. But besides that, we both have soft, resonant voices, although mine is bassier even at the same pitch. I couldn't always capture Karen: I was once a screamer type screecher. But I mellowed out. Then I knew that I had access to Karen years ago, but I didn't have any control until Allah allowed me to stay on the bridge between 1st and 2nd voices (to the amateur, it is between real and falsetto voices). Once one is able to stay on the bridge, then all voices are real, and none is falsetto. The secret to chick singer vocals! Of course it goes deeper than that, namely the purity of emotion. That too is a gift from Allah, also known as spiritual enlightenment, or it can be, as in Karen's case, natural ability.

Of course, she lost a lot of strength from overwork and dieting, but there's nothing anyone could have done about that. That was between her and God. Fame drains, but so many people crave it. Could there be something sinister involved? So many celebrities are found dead in a similar way as Karen and Janis, face down in a bedroom. Evil abounds, but Judgement Day is more than real enough to pay back acts of evil. Until then, we Muslims are commanded to defend ourselves only when we are unjustly attacked. And certainly Karen could afford to buy herself the best ingredients, and so can you, I'm sure. If you don't feel like cooking, then go out to eat at a nice restaurant with your buddies. I think tonight I'll go to the night market and buy some fish, white meat and produce.

Letter to Julia 20120317

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi beloved! I have this feeling that you are somewhat pleased with me, I don't know what I did... it's just a feeling. Am I correct? I hope I do please you, oh Julia, because I do love you with all my heart and I want to marry you, but I am so swept away with this tide of music, and I'm so, so poor, that I don't know how to please you. I can only pray that Allah will grant us happiness together in this life, as well as the hereafter. If you are happy with me, it's because Allah made you love me, so I can only try to please Allah, even though no human could ever notice nor grasp the work I do for God. Ya Allah, please accept my work and worship.

It's very difficult for me to sing Janis Joplin. While it is true that only Janis can sing Janis, for me to mirror her singing is very exhausting. For one, she is out of my physical range, because I am not a small woman from Texas. Another thing is that she always talks about her man, and I absolutely cannot relate to that, so about 70% of her material is unsingable for me because of the lyrics. Another issue is that I can't relate to Janis in general: it's very, very rare that I get the right feeling when singing Janis, and oddly enough it's when I'm most apathetic. Sometimes I actually hate singing Janis, and feel relieved when the randomizer doesn't choose Janis during rehearsal. The final problem is that when I do sing Janis, she completely overwhelms the other singers I have to mirror, that my voice becomes warped. For example, Janis just stomps all over Karen Carpenter. Why don't I just NOT sing Janis? I sing Janis because I am compelled to do so, that it is the right thing to do. I can't explain it. After all, Allah is the Only One who can raise the dead.

So remember never to call on any other god besides Allah. Identify yourself with your Islam, and our marriage to each other. Please put your faith and trust in Allah, that Allah will supply us with what we need for our happiness together in this life and the hereafter. I am waiting for you, this old soldier who loves you, and will continue to wait until Allah allows us to be with each other at last.

Qur'an 20120317

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

213. So call not on any other god with Allah, or you will be among those under the Penalty.

214. And admonish your nearest kinsmen.

215. And lower your wing to the believers who follow you.

216. Then if they disobey you say, "I am free from what you do!"

217. And put your trust on the Exalted in Might, the Merciful.

The Poets 26:213-217
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