Letter to Julia 20120317

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi beloved! I have this feeling that you are somewhat pleased with me, I don't know what I did... it's just a feeling. Am I correct? I hope I do please you, oh Julia, because I do love you with all my heart and I want to marry you, but I am so swept away with this tide of music, and I'm so, so poor, that I don't know how to please you. I can only pray that Allah will grant us happiness together in this life, as well as the hereafter. If you are happy with me, it's because Allah made you love me, so I can only try to please Allah, even though no human could ever notice nor grasp the work I do for God. Ya Allah, please accept my work and worship.

It's very difficult for me to sing Janis Joplin. While it is true that only Janis can sing Janis, for me to mirror her singing is very exhausting. For one, she is out of my physical range, because I am not a small woman from Texas. Another thing is that she always talks about her man, and I absolutely cannot relate to that, so about 70% of her material is unsingable for me because of the lyrics. Another issue is that I can't relate to Janis in general: it's very, very rare that I get the right feeling when singing Janis, and oddly enough it's when I'm most apathetic. Sometimes I actually hate singing Janis, and feel relieved when the randomizer doesn't choose Janis during rehearsal. The final problem is that when I do sing Janis, she completely overwhelms the other singers I have to mirror, that my voice becomes warped. For example, Janis just stomps all over Karen Carpenter. Why don't I just NOT sing Janis? I sing Janis because I am compelled to do so, that it is the right thing to do. I can't explain it. After all, Allah is the Only One who can raise the dead.

So remember never to call on any other god besides Allah. Identify yourself with your Islam, and our marriage to each other. Please put your faith and trust in Allah, that Allah will supply us with what we need for our happiness together in this life and the hereafter. I am waiting for you, this old soldier who loves you, and will continue to wait until Allah allows us to be with each other at last.