It's been a cat poo kind of day

Hi Erin!  Nice jacket.  You are looking so beautiful.  You must be feeling great, because you always look your best when you feel great.  I can see you're moving up in the sports world.  Congratulations, honey.  Rake in those bucks, and buy those gold bars like I told you.  And practice cooking every day.  Remember what I told you: cook for your stomach first, flavor comes second.  Use a medium flame until you gain confidence.  I know you don't like your own cooking right now, but there is your goal: get to the point where you like your own cooking.  Throw dinner parties at your home with your friends.

Yesterday, I managed to get my air conditioner serviced at last.  A curious thing happened though.  I had just finished the Asr (late afternoon) prayer.  I pray right underneath the a/c.  Now the a/c is sparkling clean of course, it had just been serviced.  Right after I picked up my prayer rug, a piece of cat poo popped out of the a/c.  How did that get in there?  The a/c guys couldn't have put that in there, even if they wanted to.

Today, Floofy got some poop tangled up with the fur around her butt.  She's a long haired kitty, so she tried to drag her butt on the floor to wipe the poop off, which only tangled it up further.  I got some toilet paper to pull the poop off, but since it was right next to her butt hole, it was like pulling poop out of her butt.  Of course, she was struggling all this time.  So I slipped on a latex glove, took her to the bathroom, turned on the hose, and proceeded to yank out that tangled up poop with the help of the water.  Try doing that to a struggling cat: I needed an extra pair of hands.  After the ordeal was over, I wouldn't let her into my bedroom, so she spent an hour howling by my bedroom door.  Eventually she got all the poop out by herself.

Natty honey, are you counting your fingers again?  We're all waiting for something, dear.  I hope you will be patient and wait for me, while I get my shit together.  I know I'm slow, but everything could move at the speed of light at any time, if it be the Will of Allah.  So please be patient with me, and please enjoy your career in the meanwhile.  Learn how to cook.

You too, Piene.  Cook.