Tour America or tour the world?

 

Do you believe in God?  I can't marry you if you didn't.  And I can't make you a Muslim bride until after you put in some work at being a Rock Star, because Allah commands it in my case.  Perhaps Allah plans for you to be the next Taylor Swift.  Now that's global diplomacy.  It gives me plenty of time to observe your conduct.  Sigh, growing old sucks.

Let's watch a Taylor Swift concert!  This is the 1989 world tour.  That was 35 years ago, and she looks 20 something in this video.  I didn't realize she's that old!  I'm just kidding, I know she was born in 1989.  I didn't realize she's that old!  It's time for a change, right Honey?  Taylor Swift is obviously under a strict contract, otherwise there would be no way to maintain control of such a massive production.  World travel is dangerous, so there must be a small (or large) army for security.  Who knows what else her contract makes her do.  So what do you think of the show, Grace?  Sorry Taylor, I tuned out after "Blank Space", right at the "share the wealth" PSA.  I love the production though, especially the light show.  I love LEDs!  Maybe Grace will watch the whole show, she's a nice girl.

Maybe you should stick to US shows, Grace.  After all, you are already global so there's really no need for hazardous world travel.  England and Scotland might be OK, but you may cause riots.  Perhaps you can declare yourself an official US asset, and have the US military provide security.  That's up to you.  Don't overwork.  Keep safe, and have fun.  Guard your chastity.

Overwork

 

Hi Grace!  How are you feeling, Honey?  I hope you are learning to pace yourself and taking care of your heart.  I'm doing OK here.  It's raining.  Which is great for me because I loathe hot weather, but I can't go anywhere.  Look, it's Vlad!  He's on TV!  It sure was nice for those guys to build a set just for you.  Overwork is a global phenomenon, Japan is the extreme.  Example rather, overwork is extreme.  Sure sometimes we have to push harder, but definitely not all the time.  Know this while you are young, that damage to the heart is permanent.  Use logic to gauge when to stop working, not how you feel.  Sometimes you feel like you have extra juice to spare.  Use that energy to enjoy life, and continue work tomorrow.

Number one

 

Hi Grace!  Feelin' hot  headed?  Honey, I have the feeling that your debut album is going to number one!  InshaAllah!  I'm so excited for you!  Please pray for success and always promote your music when you stream.  And don't forget to thank Allah when you get there.  Getting to the top of the charts will make the record companies more aggressive, and some of them are bad guys.  Don't sign!  Make sure your team is ready for this!  Get Nashville to back you up.  Do more Nashville shows.  Ya Allah, please protect my Grace and her loved ones.

When I was a small kid, I had fantasies of being on the record charts.  What are they anyway?  Some of them are weird.  "Alt Country", what's that?  Whatever, people seem to like the record charts, so it's obviously a marketing tool.  The British charts used to be especially strange.  But nowadays they're pretty much the same as the US charts.  It must be a result of corporate research.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

21.  As to those who deny the Signs of Allah and in defiance of right slay the prophets and slay those who teach just dealing with mankind, announce to them a grievous penalty.

The Family of Imran 3:21

The sound guy

 

Yes Honey, you're really good at those trade offs.  I told you that you have a genius ear.  Mookie was going easy on you though but you could always move to the front of the stage and do a solo, while he can't go anywhere.  Oh you'll catch up to him, just keep at it.  I couldn't do such challenges myself, I'm out of practice.  Too much songwriting.  And that chick singer I have to work with consumes souls.  Your guitar giving feedback is its way of saying "You're losing!"  Feedback is a musical instrument, however.  Didn't you know that?  It's like an extra tool your electric guitar carries with it.  You can get feedback at low volumes by playing with all that gain you have, and that way you can practice in your bedroom various muting, volume, tremolo and position techniques.  Few people can master this.  Most of them just stand in front of the speaker, wave the guitar around and think themselves artists.

I used to do sound occasionally to help out some friends.  That's what a sound guy usually is: a musician who doesn't deserve to perform.  I guess "deserve" is a harsh word, but someone has to do sound.  And this someone has absolute control of how the crowd perceives your music.  It is wise to have a sound guy as another member of your band, just remember that it's not that simple.  PA stuff is expensive and heavy, and you can get into quarrels with venue, organizers and local government.  Rock and Roll!

Don't mess with my song

 

Yeah, that was exactly the answer I was expecting from you.  The correct answer is, "I love you too".  You're blessed that you're pretty.  PRETTY GIRL!  RIBBONS IN YOUR CURLS!!!  You just wait until I get my paws on you, I'm going to give you a big old smootch on the lips...

I once had a crush on the chick singer of my band.  She said, "Give me a break!" then quit the band the next day.

Yes Honey, I saw some concert footage of you at the SERPENT festival.  YouTube sent it to me.  Some of Slash, too.  Guitar sounds puny overall.  Slash too.  It must be the venue.  Honey you need to get a Marshall stack, get bold and ignore the sound man.  But nobody has the guts to do that anymore.  Oh, I also saw that other video of your band at the Underdog.  I'm sure you realize that it's easier get that kind of tightness in small clubs.  If you don't believe me, try getting that feeling next time you play a festival.  Yes, it can be done.  Consider it a nice little puzzle for you to figure out.

It seems to me that when people want to hear their favorite song live, they hope that it would sound the same as the record.  That's silly, right?  Just go home and play the record!  Actually, it's very serious.  I believe that when people hear their favorite song live, they want to hear it as the record but better.  Not sound better, but feel better.  Oh, they can be nasty about it.  You know this.  This doesn't apply to you as to what Mary does.  But it definitely applies to the singer.

Sleepwalking

 

We don't share the same situation either, Grace.  Your life is marked and defined by significant events, while my existence is like sitting on explosives waiting for it to detonate.  It's been like this for years already, but the vibe gets more and more intense.  When "it" happens, it could go either way for me: either I can finally afford to build a house, get married, buy musical instruments, a car and eat steak, or you never hear Mary's voice and from me ever again.  And "it" could happen at any given moment.

Oh don't worry so much, whatever will be will be.  Thus actually, we're both sleepwalking!  Isn't that cool?  I must tell you that you looked beautiful at the MusiCares benefit.  I'm afraid I can't address whatever anxiety you have, that's something you have to tackle yourself.  It's part of having an active mind.  Some people think useless thoughts, others have constructive thoughts.  Why invest your anxiety on useless thoughts?  I'm actually a very nervous person, even though I don't show it.  It makes me a loud sleeper.  But when I'm sleepwalking, awake rather, I seem to function quite patiently.  Patience is the key, it actually solves all problems.

By the way, I love you.  Do you love me?

Improvise

 

Yes Honey, I watched your interview on CBS mornings.  Is that really live TV?  You talked about your Opry debut, but they didn't show it.  Aren't you supposed to be in NYC in order to be with those guys?  They didn't even mention the billboard in Times Square, which would be a big deal for NYC.  To me it seems that interview was recorded between your benefit show and your Opry debut.

But that was the time Mary was sick.  Ugh, I won't forget that ordeal.  That would have been a true challenge for your improvisation skills, to jam along with a sick chick singer over vocal driven music.  I wouldn't blame you if you had abandoned the situation.  There were still all those people watching and listening, though.  If you had stuck to the gig, it would have been an honorable act for many to witness.  I'm sorry Honey, but she didn't get sick on purpose and she had to work regardless.  What happened was God's play.

I must say that you looked beautiful in that outfit during your album release show.  You looked better with the guitar on your shoulders.  Being on stage isn't the same feeling as being off stage for you, right?  That's where we're not alike Honey, to me they're both the same.  Just know that you're not invulnerable when performing, so please be cautious with the crowd.