Letter to Erin 20150326

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey there, Precious Gorgeous!  You must be a busy, busy girl right now.  Hang on to your heart, Sweetie.  Your precious heart.  Please make sure you put aside some down time for yourself to rest your precious heart.  Be lazy.  Watch TV.  Take a nap.  Eat snacks.  I saw that Mexican thingy you did, you know the one where they announced your SI issues sold out.  Congratulations!  You are so beautiful.  I love you, and I need you.

Today I ate out all day.  I had roti canai (India style greasy flat bread) in the morning, rice vermicelli soup for lunch, and fried noodles for dinner.  I have never done that before, never in my life in fact.  Wait, that's not true: I remember being on tour, and eating nothing but restaurant and convenience store food.  Today was a busy day for me.  It centered mostly around an antique snare drum, an out of production Yamaha marching snare, I think it's at least 12 years old, most likely older.  It's made in Japan: most Yamaha stuff nowadays are made in China.  All modern drummers center their kits and lives around the snare and bass drum, and nowadays even composers and machines think only "kick and snare".  Boom chuck, boom chuck.  I love a good bass drum, but to me the snare drum is a lesser drum, perhaps the lowest drum, probably not even necessary in my kit.  I can just hit a rack tom for "chuck".  Who cares, anyway?  Well today, many people across the country were getting emotional over this old snare drum.  I have to admit that I like this drum, so I put in the work and money to acquire it.  I used to play this drum when I was a drum teacher about 5 years ago, and it's still in tune from then, the same tuning I gave it, even though it's covered in dust and cobwebs.  This will probably be the last snare drum I will ever own.  I also got limited Internet access at home- the cheapest plan possible!  It will help me cut back on dangerous commute.  I'm sorry but it's not good enough for video conferencing, and I'm still too broke to get you a ring.  Please forgive me for my faults.   At least you may expect to hear from me everyday.  InshaAllah.

Letter to Erin 20150324

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It's almost mango season.  Last season, there were so many seedlings that I decided to save and nurse them, perhaps someone would want them.  I spoke to a pro, and he said I needed to "marry" them to a mature mango of the same type, so they would acquire the strengths of the mature tree and bear fruit sooner.  The type that grows in my yard is Harumanis.  I recalled some methods of making hybrid mangoes from biology class in high school, so I decided to "marry" them to the mother tree, which is big and strong.  They're plants, so don't say "ew".  But my methods failed, because the shoots didn't bond to the seedlings, and they dried up and died.  So I watched a video on the proper method, then redid all of them, hopefully the roots aren't dead yet.  Then Bob Cat attacked one of them, and I discovered that I hadn't secured the bond properly.  The cat fancies himself a farmer.  Well, I hope I will raise good hybrids inshaAllah, with the help of Bobby-Wobby the mango farmer.  It looks like there will be hundreds more seedlings this year.

I have 3 female cats that live indoors, and they will probably spend their entire lives inside the house.  Their names are ----, ----, and -------.  They are definitely at the age where they should be going in heat.  I've been preparing myself for the potential racket, but they haven't begun howling in earnest yet, which is odd to me.  Mama cat Floofy has been spending more time indoors with them.  Perhaps that has something to do with it, I don't know.  Perhaps it's because they have each other.  One thing is for certain, that a cat in heat will do her howling right at my bedroom door.  It's one of those certainties in life.  Like death and taxes.

How are you doing, my dearest heart?  My beautiful Erin.  I pray you are feeling healthy and happy, and learning how to relax.  I'm obviously in a better mood than last time.  When I start to meow, then you know my mood is getting better.  I want you to know that I love you with all my heart.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150322

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I will be the first to admit that this music that Allah gave me can be powerful and dangerous.  This is because mashaAllah, I channel the voices of the dead.  But I have mentioned this over and over again over the decades past, and I am oppressed by poverty, ridiculed because of my religion, the music and my poverty, and have had my life hanging as a result.  SO WHAT?  Everybody needs money.  Everyone has to fight to succeed.  And as far as human lives are concerned, there are people here flushing newborn babies down the toilet on a perhaps daily basis.  Yeah, I know all that, but this power of music is not my power but the power of Allah.  I'm just the vessel of this music, and I can't help the ghosts, the bitterness, and the death that permeate my aura.  What would I do if I get money, anyhow?  Become bloated and obese?  Gamble?  Party?  Buy a football team?  No, I would get married, do my Hajj, and acquire the tools to create music while I still can.  At times dark and supernatural music.  InshaAllah.  But why should I need this world?  Allah knows my mission, and that it interferes with the Pharaoh's routine: I'm not here to be a prophet, I'm not here to be a king, and I don't need to explain myself to this world.  But perhaps my wife would like to hear some of the details.

By the way Erin, there has been noticably less garbage resulting out of your search string.  But there is still some trash.  More organized and produced trash, but trash nonetheless.  Trash that I do not desire to consume.  Please esteem yourself with dignity in all your social interactions, be better than me at least.  Please maintain your chastity, piety, and integrity.  I want you to know that I have faith in your goodness. so please avoid being quarrelsome about this matter.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150320

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, beautiful Erin.  How are you feeling today?  I pray that you are feeling healthy and confident.  I just had steak and eggs for dinner.  I seem to talk about food a lot, don't I?  Allah gave me some knowledge of cooking, for which I am grateful, and I love good food.  Are you trying your hand at cooking?  It's a nice way to pass the time, plus I'm sure you would want to make something for your children.  Make sure you start off with a small to medium fire on the stove top.  It makes for better control, and less dangerous.  I went to the market at 7 am this morning.  I always wake up early for the dawn prayer, but this time I didn't go back to sleep.  My Mom said that she likes my stuffed wontons, so I went and got some wonton and spring roll skins, and tofu.  When we are married inshaAllah, we will have to get up and out early for raw foods, otherwise they sell out.

So how are you coping with a romance in the Public Eye?  The best way to do this is to ignore all those other humans, and focus on us.  Don't you agree?  I want you to know that I sincerely love you, and care for you deeply.  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150318

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Erin, I saw that Valentine's Day thingy you did for the swimsuit 2015.  I kind of got the sensation that you were displeased with me?  If it's because I don't acknowledge Valentine's Day, then I ask you to forgive me.  It is most certainly because I refuse to join partners with Allah, and if you believe such a reason is trivial, to me it is most serious.  I have to live a spiritual life for Allah: I have no choice in that matter.  Let's just say that I have chosen my camp, and I intend to die there.  I have been doing so for decades already, it is my reality, and it is the reality of us, of how we came to be in love.  If God had not made you love me, you wouldn't have given me a second thought!  You are my wife inshaAllah, and you will have to live this reality with me.

Or perhaps I misread you.  Perhaps you have something else crossing your heart.  I sincerely love you everyday, but I won't celebrate Valentine's Day.  I'm not trying to change you in this matter, I'm trying to not change me.  So please forgive me, whatever it is.  I can be clueless too.  I love you, and I need you.

Do you like squid?  I made some squid in marinara sauce and lime juice, and cooked up two big, fat tortillas.  One for you, and one for me.

Letter to Erin 20150316

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Erin, you are such a sweetheart.  You are my beautiful sweetheart, and I love you so.  Please know that only God is perfect.  I'm just the one who loves you, I want you to be safe, and I want you to be happy and happy with me.  I know that you are best you, no one else can be you, and you are my girl, the girl I love.  People will keep trying to change you, so hang on to yourself.  You're already at the top of your game mashaAllah, so you don't have to do much of anything but be yourself.  The most beautiful girl in the world.  MY girl.  So just stay at home if you're not working, and relax.  I love you, and I need you.  By the way, have you met my clones?  If you need the real me, you know where to find me.

I just made the best batch of chili in my entire life!  The other day, my Mom gave me some trash beef which consisted mostly of fat and gristle, and told me to grill it.   She has some salty seasoning on it, I removed the gristle, then burned it to medium.  Not intentionally!  I was trying to man the grill, them Mom yelled at me to watch her make curry.  I love you, Mom!  I also burned my fish.  Anyway, I sliced up all that fatty beef and stuck it in the cooler.  So today I fried up some garlic, onions, a can of baked beans in tomato sauce, red hot pepper puree, then chopped up all that charcoal burned fatty beef (Warning!  Burned animal fat is a carsonigen!  But I'm not doing the nasty with anybody right now, so it's unlikely that I spawn mutant children) and slow cooked it as chili.  Oh my God!  SubhanAllah!  Alhamdulillah!  LailahailAllah!  Allahuakbar!  This chili is from heaven!  You must try some!

Letter to Erin 20150314

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I am a creature of feedback, so I have my vocal microphone setup in my bedroom marked so it can be the same every time I rehearse.  Today I had to voice train right after I returned from Friday prayer.  When I did, my bedroom was hot, so I turned on the AC.  Then I turned on the PA system, and I was overwhelmed my massive feedback on both high and low frequencies, and I had to turn everything down way past my usual settings.  Then I started to sing, and everything sounded wimpy and wrong, and it made me uncomfortable.  The room cooled down eventually, and I found out that I could turn everything up to my normal levels.  The hot air made the feedback uncontrollable,  Science!  Ya Allah, thank you for the music.

Erin, that was a beautiful black suit you were wearing, and I must say that you looked totally hot in it.  It turned me on!  So sexy!  If you had put up your hair and showed off your lovely neck to me, I would have been even more turned on.  But you didn't put your hair up because you didn't want to attract vampires, right?  Oh, no!  Ya Allah, please protect my beloved Erin.  Ya Allah, thank You for Erin, and for making her so beautiful.  Erin, thank you for your love.  I love you, and I need you.

Alhamdulillah.  Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.