In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Hi beloved! I have this feeling that you are somewhat pleased with me, I don't know what I did... it's just a feeling. Am I correct? I hope I do please you, oh Julia, because I do love you with all my heart and I want to marry you, but I am so swept away with this tide of music, and I'm so, so poor, that I don't know how to please you. I can only pray that Allah will grant us happiness together in this life, as well as the hereafter. If you are happy with me, it's because Allah made you love me, so I can only try to please Allah, even though no human could ever notice nor grasp the work I do for God. Ya Allah, please accept my work and worship.
It's very difficult for me to sing Janis Joplin. While it is true that only Janis can sing Janis, for me to mirror her singing is very exhausting. For one, she is out of my physical range, because I am not a small woman from Texas. Another thing is that she always talks about her man, and I absolutely cannot relate to that, so about 70% of her material is unsingable for me because of the lyrics. Another issue is that I can't relate to Janis in general: it's very, very rare that I get the right feeling when singing Janis, and oddly enough it's when I'm most apathetic. Sometimes I actually hate singing Janis, and feel relieved when the randomizer doesn't choose Janis during rehearsal. The final problem is that when I do sing Janis, she completely overwhelms the other singers I have to mirror, that my voice becomes warped. For example, Janis just stomps all over Karen Carpenter. Why don't I just NOT sing Janis? I sing Janis because I am compelled to do so, that it is the right thing to do. I can't explain it. After all, Allah is the Only One who can raise the dead.
So remember never to call on any other god besides Allah. Identify yourself with your Islam, and our marriage to each other. Please put your faith and trust in Allah, that Allah will supply us with what we need for our happiness together in this life and the hereafter. I am waiting for you, this old soldier who loves you, and will continue to wait until Allah allows us to be with each other at last.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Qur'an 20120317
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
213. So call not on any other god with Allah, or you will be among those under the Penalty.
214. And admonish your nearest kinsmen.
215. And lower your wing to the believers who follow you.
216. Then if they disobey you say, "I am free from what you do!"
217. And put your trust on the Exalted in Might, the Merciful.
The Poets 26:213-217
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213. So call not on any other god with Allah, or you will be among those under the Penalty.
214. And admonish your nearest kinsmen.
215. And lower your wing to the believers who follow you.
216. Then if they disobey you say, "I am free from what you do!"
217. And put your trust on the Exalted in Might, the Merciful.
The Poets 26:213-217
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Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Letter to Julia 20120314
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Isn't Doris Day just an awesome singer? Well, when she was young. She was truly a great singer, a very versatile singer. She could whisper like Karen Carpenter, then pierce like a bullet the way Janis Joplin did. Do you agree with me that she was beautiful, too? It's very rare that a great female singer be physically beautiful. After all, a singing voice of sorrow and suffering, a voice that is considered beautiful, could only come from an ugly woman. But sorrow and suffering was not her trademark, rather Doris is a survivor. And a movie star. Her life was like a movie. And she was able to bear a child, another rarity for a great singer. Her son Terry was a record producer, and was the target for Charles Manson when he rejected Manson's music. Do you know Charles Manson? He was a cultist serial killer who dropped by Terry's house one night to kill him, but Terry wasn't home, so he killed everyone else there instead. I hope I got the story right, Doris!
Anyway, I'm sizing up this little house for renovations. Ya Allah, please bless our home! I do so prefer small houses Julia, and I love this humble little home. I'm planning for a (comparatively) spacious master bedroom, with an office for me, and an entire room for your wardrobe/office, with your own bathroom, and washer/dryer. Clean your own bathroom, Julia! There will be 2 smaller bedrooms for the kids... how many kids are you planning to have, dearest? Hopefully, the kids won't take up our offices. The kitchen will be combined with the dining room. The living room would be rather small, for you to receive your friends, because I don't have any friends: you're not planning on having huge indoor parties, are you? Any partying will have to be done in the garden, my love. No need for extravagance, my dearest! We will have very little privacy because of who we are, so let's be together all the time, shall we? When I get the money, I will get started, and I will update you on the progress as time goes by. InsyaAllah! Please be patient, and pray!
Isn't Doris Day just an awesome singer? Well, when she was young. She was truly a great singer, a very versatile singer. She could whisper like Karen Carpenter, then pierce like a bullet the way Janis Joplin did. Do you agree with me that she was beautiful, too? It's very rare that a great female singer be physically beautiful. After all, a singing voice of sorrow and suffering, a voice that is considered beautiful, could only come from an ugly woman. But sorrow and suffering was not her trademark, rather Doris is a survivor. And a movie star. Her life was like a movie. And she was able to bear a child, another rarity for a great singer. Her son Terry was a record producer, and was the target for Charles Manson when he rejected Manson's music. Do you know Charles Manson? He was a cultist serial killer who dropped by Terry's house one night to kill him, but Terry wasn't home, so he killed everyone else there instead. I hope I got the story right, Doris!
Anyway, I'm sizing up this little house for renovations. Ya Allah, please bless our home! I do so prefer small houses Julia, and I love this humble little home. I'm planning for a (comparatively) spacious master bedroom, with an office for me, and an entire room for your wardrobe/office, with your own bathroom, and washer/dryer. Clean your own bathroom, Julia! There will be 2 smaller bedrooms for the kids... how many kids are you planning to have, dearest? Hopefully, the kids won't take up our offices. The kitchen will be combined with the dining room. The living room would be rather small, for you to receive your friends, because I don't have any friends: you're not planning on having huge indoor parties, are you? Any partying will have to be done in the garden, my love. No need for extravagance, my dearest! We will have very little privacy because of who we are, so let's be together all the time, shall we? When I get the money, I will get started, and I will update you on the progress as time goes by. InsyaAllah! Please be patient, and pray!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Letter to Julia 20120312
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Oh, my dearest, beautiful, precious, beloved Julia! I'm so sorry I stayed away for so long, did you miss me? I certainly missed you, because I love you with all my heart, and I want to marry you. It's just that the Internet needed me too much, so much that it wanted to control my actions and decisions without pay or contract, so I had to stay away for a few days. But I've said this many times before: they don't need me. God is Who they need. Besides, I remember back in 2008 some parties saying, "Bring it on!" Another issue about need, is how can I help supply the needs of others when I'm being kept as poor as I am now? Am I expected to not eat properly and compromise my utilities just to stay on the Internet for the simple sake of being on the Internet constantly, at the Internet cafe paying 2RM/hour, and the journey to and fro thereof? Don't think I've forgotten the many times people tried to run me over with their cars, and set their dogs on me as I rode my bicycle to the pizza joint. Oh, they're saying that never happened? Well, in this case, it doesn't matter what I can prove, it only matters how I feel. **snort** Nobody seems to take action to supply me with the means to sustain the needs of others, in this particular case a home Internet connection, and a new computer with an online budget. So I have to live without it, and they have to live without me. Que Sera Sera.
Anyway, Shadowplay TV was getting too dark, and I was getting tired of it, so I decided to adjust the color correction on my old laptop. Funny thing is, I've had this computer for about 7 years now, and I never could find the color correction module for this Intel 945GM chipset. I thought since it didn't have a separate graphics accelerator, then it didn't have a color correction option. But I did find it yesterday. Amazing! And after 7 years of tolerating all that darkness. So after adjusting the gamma, the whole screen became slightly washed out except for the purest blacks. What is particularly attractive to me is how your photographs become more attractive to me, because your skin and hair become much lighter. It occurs to me how I love my woman to have pale skin and bright light blond hair. SO please, don't ever darken your hair or get a tan.
Don't forget, my dearest Julia, that the goal of our marriage is to slow down, so that you can have a mate who loves you dearly, so that we can shop and eat and go places together, so that you can be a mother, and settle down. It's not the end of your work: far from it, actually. With our combined strength, we can make the demands of your work conform to your heart and well-being. InsyaAllah.
Oh, my dearest, beautiful, precious, beloved Julia! I'm so sorry I stayed away for so long, did you miss me? I certainly missed you, because I love you with all my heart, and I want to marry you. It's just that the Internet needed me too much, so much that it wanted to control my actions and decisions without pay or contract, so I had to stay away for a few days. But I've said this many times before: they don't need me. God is Who they need. Besides, I remember back in 2008 some parties saying, "Bring it on!" Another issue about need, is how can I help supply the needs of others when I'm being kept as poor as I am now? Am I expected to not eat properly and compromise my utilities just to stay on the Internet for the simple sake of being on the Internet constantly, at the Internet cafe paying 2RM/hour, and the journey to and fro thereof? Don't think I've forgotten the many times people tried to run me over with their cars, and set their dogs on me as I rode my bicycle to the pizza joint. Oh, they're saying that never happened? Well, in this case, it doesn't matter what I can prove, it only matters how I feel. **snort** Nobody seems to take action to supply me with the means to sustain the needs of others, in this particular case a home Internet connection, and a new computer with an online budget. So I have to live without it, and they have to live without me. Que Sera Sera.
Anyway, Shadowplay TV was getting too dark, and I was getting tired of it, so I decided to adjust the color correction on my old laptop. Funny thing is, I've had this computer for about 7 years now, and I never could find the color correction module for this Intel 945GM chipset. I thought since it didn't have a separate graphics accelerator, then it didn't have a color correction option. But I did find it yesterday. Amazing! And after 7 years of tolerating all that darkness. So after adjusting the gamma, the whole screen became slightly washed out except for the purest blacks. What is particularly attractive to me is how your photographs become more attractive to me, because your skin and hair become much lighter. It occurs to me how I love my woman to have pale skin and bright light blond hair. SO please, don't ever darken your hair or get a tan.
Don't forget, my dearest Julia, that the goal of our marriage is to slow down, so that you can have a mate who loves you dearly, so that we can shop and eat and go places together, so that you can be a mother, and settle down. It's not the end of your work: far from it, actually. With our combined strength, we can make the demands of your work conform to your heart and well-being. InsyaAllah.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Letter to Julia 20120308
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Moth? No, not the Mothman! Hey, my sources tell me that Mothman sightings have become more frequent in the USA. Maybe it's an omen that the whole country will get flushed into the Pacific ocean cum the next president. Nah, there are no such things as omens. Only Signs of God. Now, prophet Muhammad (peace be on him) said that one of the 10 Signs of Judgement Day is that monsters will appear at late morning. SubhanAllah (Glory to Allah)! That would be much more fun to watch than TV!
In many stories, the moth or butterfly represents death and rebirth. For example, at the end of "All quiet on the Western Front", the soldier was killed by a sniper when he reached for the blue butterfly. InsyaAllah, I will still be allowed to live, but perhaps it would be more than mere survival. Perhaps soon, Allah will allow me to be happily married to my Julia, and we'll be making the love all the time, day and night. InsyaAllah! If so, I'm going to need some drugs. Sigh! Why must only old men acquire wisdom? I guess if I had gained enlightenment 20 years ago, you would only be 6 years old.
Moth? No, not the Mothman! Hey, my sources tell me that Mothman sightings have become more frequent in the USA. Maybe it's an omen that the whole country will get flushed into the Pacific ocean cum the next president. Nah, there are no such things as omens. Only Signs of God. Now, prophet Muhammad (peace be on him) said that one of the 10 Signs of Judgement Day is that monsters will appear at late morning. SubhanAllah (Glory to Allah)! That would be much more fun to watch than TV!
In many stories, the moth or butterfly represents death and rebirth. For example, at the end of "All quiet on the Western Front", the soldier was killed by a sniper when he reached for the blue butterfly. InsyaAllah, I will still be allowed to live, but perhaps it would be more than mere survival. Perhaps soon, Allah will allow me to be happily married to my Julia, and we'll be making the love all the time, day and night. InsyaAllah! If so, I'm going to need some drugs. Sigh! Why must only old men acquire wisdom? I guess if I had gained enlightenment 20 years ago, you would only be 6 years old.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Letter to Julia 20120307
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Y'know Julia, I really miss hummingbirds. When I was living in my humble apartment in Tempe, Arizona, I would have a little hummingbird feeder hanging over my porch. Whenever I went out and saw a little bird partaking of the red sugar water outside my house, I would think to myself, "This is going to be a nice day". There's no logic to such thought of course, because Allah was the one who made the birds come and go. My heart felt some happiness when I saw them, and you might guess that that little happiness can make a whole day. Hey, any bit of joy is better than none at all. The hummingbirds usually appear from fall to spring, but there are a few birds that stick around all year, probably because of all the hummingbird feeders. One spring, a bird built its nest in the tree overlooking my apartment. Oh, joy! I had some photos of the pretty little bird in its pretty little nest, but I lost them when I moved out. However, the little nest drove some girl downstairs insane, and one strange day, she destroyed the nest and the branch it was on.
There aren't any hummingbirds here in Malaysia. But that's OK, because I don't live day to day, because it's all the same old day anyway. And happiness is when Allah allows me a glimpse of the perfect feeling. And I love the countryside, I'm so glad to be out of the city. During the sunset, I thought I saw a hummingbird flitting about the cashew blossoms. But it was smaller, but it had the same bill, the wings flapped the same... could it be? No, it was a moth. Allah blot out the hummingbird and replaced it with a moth.
Y'know Julia, I really miss hummingbirds. When I was living in my humble apartment in Tempe, Arizona, I would have a little hummingbird feeder hanging over my porch. Whenever I went out and saw a little bird partaking of the red sugar water outside my house, I would think to myself, "This is going to be a nice day". There's no logic to such thought of course, because Allah was the one who made the birds come and go. My heart felt some happiness when I saw them, and you might guess that that little happiness can make a whole day. Hey, any bit of joy is better than none at all. The hummingbirds usually appear from fall to spring, but there are a few birds that stick around all year, probably because of all the hummingbird feeders. One spring, a bird built its nest in the tree overlooking my apartment. Oh, joy! I had some photos of the pretty little bird in its pretty little nest, but I lost them when I moved out. However, the little nest drove some girl downstairs insane, and one strange day, she destroyed the nest and the branch it was on.
There aren't any hummingbirds here in Malaysia. But that's OK, because I don't live day to day, because it's all the same old day anyway. And happiness is when Allah allows me a glimpse of the perfect feeling. And I love the countryside, I'm so glad to be out of the city. During the sunset, I thought I saw a hummingbird flitting about the cashew blossoms. But it was smaller, but it had the same bill, the wings flapped the same... could it be? No, it was a moth. Allah blot out the hummingbird and replaced it with a moth.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Letter to Julia 20120305
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.
Well, the spider fell to the ground and died, and was taken apart by the ants. God took care of the injured spider. I buried a dead rooster about a week ago, but someone dug up the carcass. When I was cutting weeds I could smell some sort of dead animal, but I couldn't find the carcass. A few hours later I chased away a couple of big monitor lizards. The stench of dead animal was gone, so I suppose the lizards removed the carcass. God took care of the dead rooster. I was unable to do anything, and I didn't have to do anything.
The unbelievers say, "Why is not a Sign sent down to him from his Lord?" Say, "Truly Allah leaves to stray, whom God will; but God guides to Godself those who turn to God in penitence." (The Thunder 13:27)
So don't concern your pretty little heart so much about those who refuse to believe, because there will always be such people no matter where you are. They are like the scum frothing in flotsam and jetsam, and God is the One who separate the sea from its corruption. Learn how to ignore them, and be consciously oblivious. Share my bubble, if you will. I love you, beautiful Julia.
Well, the spider fell to the ground and died, and was taken apart by the ants. God took care of the injured spider. I buried a dead rooster about a week ago, but someone dug up the carcass. When I was cutting weeds I could smell some sort of dead animal, but I couldn't find the carcass. A few hours later I chased away a couple of big monitor lizards. The stench of dead animal was gone, so I suppose the lizards removed the carcass. God took care of the dead rooster. I was unable to do anything, and I didn't have to do anything.
The unbelievers say, "Why is not a Sign sent down to him from his Lord?" Say, "Truly Allah leaves to stray, whom God will; but God guides to Godself those who turn to God in penitence." (The Thunder 13:27)
So don't concern your pretty little heart so much about those who refuse to believe, because there will always be such people no matter where you are. They are like the scum frothing in flotsam and jetsam, and God is the One who separate the sea from its corruption. Learn how to ignore them, and be consciously oblivious. Share my bubble, if you will. I love you, beautiful Julia.
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