Life of a hermit

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today, my beloved?  You are my beautiful love, and I long for you everyday.  Today is Sunday, and I'm still trying to keep out of sight and stay in the house.  I had to clean my parents' bedroom as usual on Sundays.  And I had to cut the grass, and take out the trash, so I couldn't completely stay out of sight.  My house is on the street to an elementary school, which will be the polling station on Wednesday, which is where the voters will cast their votes.  I took the snapshots below right outside my front gate, facing away from the elementary school which is 5 houses behind me:

The areas of thick grass is government property.  I'm sure the government cares about the voters, and will remove the environmental hazard before Election Day.  If the government refuses to do it, then perhaps the opposition will give a couple of guys with grass cutters RM100, have them wear T-shirts with party logos, and they can remove the tall grass in less than an half an hour.  It would sure make them look good.

Hi Natty Honey!  How's life today, you beautiful precious girl?  I'm about to make my dinner.  I have some burger buns to use up before they get hard, so I'll be making a cheeseburger and an egg burger.  Nothing too fancy.  Lunch was a surprising success, I wasn't even trying- eggplant omelet burgers!  Hey, they were awesome!  You must try one.

This is my apprentice, Gwen.

Life of a hermit

Hi Honey!  How's it going with you today?  I hope you are feeling good, and work and everything is going nice and easy for you.  Nothing much going on here.  As you know, I'm trying to keep out of sight until after the elections.  So I stayed inside the house mostly, mostly listening to music.  I'm quite used to life as a hermit, in fact I quite enjoy it.  I cut the grass in the evening.  Grass sure grows quickly around here.  Nothing special on the menu either.  Ramen for lunch, and my Mom gave me fried noodles for dinner.  I think after this letter, I'll go make some bread and butter and sugar sandwiches.  Yummy!

Hi Natty Honey!  How's life going for you?  I'm sure you are doing lots of exciting things.  Please have tons of fun and make lots of money for yourself while you can OK?  I want you to know that I'm always with you and always check up on you, so please talk to me about whatever, I'll be sure to answer.

Oh, it's so hard to get isolated

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling right now?  I hope your routine is trouble-free and enjoyable.  It's almost Election Day around here, and I'm trying my darndest to avoid people.  But today was the Friday prayer and I had to attend that.  And I can't avoid my parents- they're right next door.  Then I had to get gasoline, plus I didn't have enough burger stuff.  But after today, I should be able to totally avoid (most) people until after Election Day inshaAllah. Well, I have to cast my vote of course.  Wish you were here.  I already had my dinner.  I had a cheeseburger, and an egg burger with cheese.  I'm just a burger type of person, I guess.

Hi Natty Bunny Honey!  Ah, it's nice to see you so confident.  And yes, you do look rather annoying.  That cat looks expensive.  Make sure it gets plenty of fresh, clean water.  Right now, I'm watching "Josie and The Pussycats".  No, you don't have to watch it.  The computer will let me know when it wants you to watch a movie.

Have you ever seen the rain?

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I'm sure the world loves you, but not as I do.  I don't have many words today.  It's just an average day, I guess.  Just a lot of chores and errands.  I haven't had dinner yet, so after this I'll cook up some potatoes and onions and garlic with chicken liver and eat it with fry bread.  I like rice, but I prefer bread for some reason.  After the rain, I cut the grass.  Cutting wet grass is not enjoyable (less enjoyable than usual unenjoyable), but I wanted to do it today, so I did it.  I guess the song actually goes, "Have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?"  It rained much harder than the snapshot I took, but I was slow in getting the camera.

Hi Natty Honey!  How are you, gorgeous girl?  I hope you are having tons of fun being a Rock and Roll Sweetheart.  I want you to know that I check up on you all the time, so please feel free to chat with me in our own special way, that no one else can do but me and my wife inshaAllah.  Why be afraid to express yourself?  What else is there to do anyway?

Onto the fluffy butt sticketh the poop

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  How's business?  I'm sure you are making lots of money.  You are my beautiful love, and I love you with all my heart.  I'm doing OK here, rather busy right now.  I woke up at 4 am this morning, which is normal so close to Ramadan.  I did some extra worship, after that I fed the cats.  Floofy was dragging her butt on the floor, which means some poop got tangled up with the hairs around her butt.  Yes it usually happens, so I had to clean her butt up with toilet paper then mop the floor.  I guess when one is fat and fluffy, one can't hide what one earns and consumes anymore.  Especially if one is locked up in a house 24/7 and living a pampered and safe life.  All I can say to that is "alhamdulillah".  I tried to make Floofy model her butt for the world to see how fluffy it is, but she quickly got tired of it and I had to quit taking photos when she stuck a claw in my index finger.  You can see her face that she was getting irritated...

                                     

Oooh I haven't had dinner yet.  I think I'll cook up a late dinner, maybe eggs and fried onions with a tortilla.  I have some fresh tomatoes too.  Want some?

Hi Natty Honey!  How are you, you beautiful Sweetheart?  I hope you are enjoying life as a Rock and Roll royalty.  Today the computer wants you to watch "Grease" from 1978.  I was 13 when I first saw this movie.  I thought that this movie was what America is all about.  Now that I'm grown up, I see it as 30 somethings going back to high school. I remember waiting to buy tickets at the local theater. There was no line, but a big crowd, so there was a lot of pushing and shoving to get tickets and get inside.  I broke my glasses!  But that didn't stop me from watching the movie, and being in awe about the American way of life.  Leather jackets!  Free sex!  Singing and dancing in high school!

May

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Dear Natalie,

Please marry me and be my second wife.  I offer you this song as a dowry, and when I can afford it I will give you a ring inshaAllah.  When the time comes and Allah grants me the means to sustain my family inshaAllah, I must marry Erin first.  I love you, and please forgive me for my shortcomings.

A nice cool day

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  How is your work coming along?  I'm sure you are doing just fine, and everything will turn out great inshaAllah.  It's a lovely cool day here today.  I'm so happy!  I hate hot weather, so I'm in a great mood.  The weather was so nice and I had some money, so I did a lot of shopping.  I can't carry much on my motorcycle, just coffee, ketchup, ramen, potato chips, plus some tomatoes and fish cake from the night market.  I also bought a tray of eggs and a carton of coconut milk for my Mom.  I bought fish sausage at the night market for dinner.  Good stuff, you should try some.  Last night I had a dream that people were giving out balloons at the market, and there they were- the politicians were giving out balloons.

Hey Natty Honey!  Oh, is that book ALL you've been reading?  The Internet is very entertaining and all, and you are an intellectual now that you've been to college.  But don't let your high-mindedness make you deny God.  If you deny God, then you will definitely be abandoned.  What is life but entertainment?  The end is for the righteous.  Don't forget that you're not a nobody, you are MY girl.  So God will let me know if you are up to something naughty inshaAllah.  Plus people are going to be monitoring your habits for market purposes, among other things.  The computer wants you to watch "High Plains Drifter" again.  So what if we have no privacy.  Let them watch that.