Letter to Julia 20111205

Hello again, my beloved beautiful Julia. Are you maintaining your prayers, and taking good care of yourself? I've been holing up here in my cave, and I've been marveling at how things turn full circle. The more things change, the more the stay the same. I remember praying over and over again for God to get me out of the pizza joint, out of the food business, and out I went, on a crazy rollercoaster which is too long-winded to explain. But I still have to eat. And since I don't have money, I have to make the best I can out of cheap stuff. And suddenly, the cheap stuff becomes expensive, but how can it be my fault, since I don't have money to buy the expensive stuff? So, I'm always looking for options. Lord, I hate the food business. BUt I'm never going to work in a restaurant ever again, insyaAllah. I pray that you are able to eat properly without other people making a huge fuss. Probably not, but hey you are just so gorgeous, I love you, and I want to marry you. So you must try hard to take good care of your precious body.

Then I remember long ago, when I had no skill at singing. People kept complaining and criticizing my singing, wanting to replace me, telling me how to sing, etc etc etc. Do it for the music, they said. Maybe I was being superficial, I don't know. You can't stay in music business if you don't love music, y'know. Today, since Allah gave me some ability to mirror some famous singers, I am hated even more. See what I mean: trying to please the crowd is the worst mistake in art. But that's Rock and Roll, I suppose, it's the nature of the beast. Except for the kids, of course. Whenever I practise, they seem to pop out everywhere then instantly evaporate, like ghosts. Maybe they were ghosts.

Whoops! I'm talking too much. But I gotta talk to my sweetie, y'know? She's so beautiful. I have to run back into my cave now, and just kick back with my kitty, and watch Shadowplay TV. As for you, you are my wife, then your closest friends are the ones who believe best in God. So keep that circle closed, and do not take for friends and intimates others outside your ranks, for they will not fail to corrupt you. Their mouths already speak hatred, and what their hearts conceal is far worse.