Letter to Erin 20150501

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Floofy finally showed up after being gone for 2 days.  I had about half an hour left of voice training when she paraded herself in front of my window.  So I shut everything off, and followed her outside.  She seemed like she was hurt, but I couldn't figure out where.  She was growling at me, and still refused to eat.  So I took her to the vet immediately.  The vet checked her up and said there was nothing wrong with her.  I asked him why she hadn't been eating, and disappeared for 2 days.  He said perhaps she's in heat.  Then I told him that she's on contraceptives.  He repeated that there's nothing wrong with her, and gave me some vitamins.  He added that perhaps she's just being coy.

Coy?  Everybody just leave me alone!  You're not being coy with me, are you?  Maybe she's throwing a tantrum because I called her fat.  Anyway, I put her inside the house, and she'll be an indoors cat until further notice.

I want you to be patient with me even though I'm not able to offer you some sort of perfection.  From my point of view, I still don't have money enough to buy you a ring and build your house.  But that doesn't give me any less work to do.  I'm feeling forced into isolation right now.  But regardless of that, I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150430

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Now Floofy has gone AWOL.  I last saw her yesterday at breakfast time.  The night before, she ate a lot of food.  But at breakfast, she just crouched and watched the other cats eat.  I gave her her portion, but she didn't eat it.  She just walked away, and I haven't seen her since.  She didn't look injured or sick or anything like that.  I'm thinking that she doesn't want to be Bob Cat's bitch.  Remember I told you that recently Bob Cat claimed all cat food in the territory as his.  And now he's in heat- if you can call it that.  Virile males don't go in heat, they're supposed to be always horny.  Wah!  I'm an old man!  I need drugs!

Anyway, Bob Cat considers all cats in his area as his bitches.  Remember I told you that Bobby was missing fur between his shoulders, now I realize that some other cat tried to make him a "bitch".  Now he's become big and strong, he doesn't have to tolerate that: he can just smash them.  Hulk Smash!  Bobby Wobby Smash!  He has such a tame disposition with me.  He has never used his claws on me nor bitten me, and he takes his doctoring without resistance.  Even when he yowls like male cats do when they call out for a mate, it's not overbearing but very relaxed.  But he's still big and strong, much bigger and stronger than Floofy, so I guess Floofy doesn't want to deal with him.  If this is true, then if she comes back then she'll come back pregnant because I won't get a chance to take her to the vet for her contraceptive.  But she is his mother, after all.  And I've never seen him harass her.  Why didn't that cat just stay indoors?  Give a cat free will, and she runs away.  Oh, it's my fault?  For giving the cat free will?

For dinner it's McDonald's.  My Mom wanted McDonald's for dinner, and I guess I'm having McDonald's too.  I got 3 double cheeseburgers: one for me, one for you I mean me, and one for me.  Brings back memories of when I was homeless and McDonald's double cheeseburgers were on the dollar menu.  But Allah saved my life.  Now I'm not homeless and McDonald's double cheeseburgers cost RM5 each.  Alhamdulillah.  Tastes the same.

How's your relationship with Victoria's Secret, by the way?  You grew up with those guys, didn't you?  I don't see your giving them your endorsement any more.  You might as well, because I can only endorse my wife in such matters.  Erin I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20150430

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

88.  Of the cry, "O my Lord!  Truly these are a people who will not believe!"

89.  But turn away from then and say, "Peace!"  But soon shall they know!

The Gold Adornments 43:88-89
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Peace!

Letter to Erin 20150429

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I'm still feeling awfully tired, and I know why.  Ever since I got that snare drum, I've been hammering out Qur'an rhythms everyday, because it's so addictive and hypnotizing.  Even though it's the same phrases over and over again, the loop is so mesmerizing because it's not a 4 beat or 4 bar.  An hour can slip away like a minute.  Imagine the effect I would get if I were playing a full kit!  I wanna shatter some glass!  However my right hand is exhausted, and my entire right arm is in severe pain.  I can't even lift my coffee cup.  I'm typing this letter with my left hand only right now.  So my entire body is sharing the suffering of my right hand, and I'm simply worn out all over.  This means no musical instruments, no keyboard and mousing with the right hand, and no pushups or weights.  I should OK by Thursday inshaAllah, and I'll try some pushups tomorrow.  I'm still able to sing.

How's your workout coming along?  Are you feeling good?  Erin, you are the most beautiful girl in the world to me.  I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20150429

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

81.  Say, "If the Most Gracious had a son, I would be the first to worship."

The Gold Adornments 43:81
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If the Most Gracious had a son, I would be the first to worship.

Letter to Erin 20150428

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Bat Cat III is eating his cat food again.  Alhamdulillah!  So I'm standing down the cat red alert for now.  I think that it was a fever that was ailing him.  It just took a while for fever reducers to kick in.

I am feeling quite tired.  My Mom is in hospital for a preliminary for knee surgery, so I've been commuting and fetching her her lunch and dinner.  Today is the first day, and the actual surgery is next month, so there's still a ways to go.  I think it's climbing up those 4 flights of stairs that's especially getting to me.  Sure I could take the elevator like everybody else, but I don't want to cut corners, so I'm going keep using the stairs.  Small potatoes, I know.  It's not as if I go running.

For dinner was crinkle cut fries and cocktail wieners.  Yeah, but I didn't feel too creative.  You're welcome to some if you like.  Boy, I'm beat.  I'm going to veg out and watch TV now.  I pray you are feeling healthy and confident.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150427

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Bat Cat III has lost interest in his cat food.  When a cat stops eating, it's time to call a cat emergency.  The first suspect would be the flu, but his energy seems OK, and his nose isn't stuffed up.  I don't have one of those thermometers that can go up his butt, but I really don't think he has a fever.  I had some fever reducers, and he's had 2 doses, and he still behaves the same way.  The next suspect is cancer, like leukemia, but how do I test for that?  As I can recall, he had been losing interest in his cat food since before I recently took him to the vet for an anti fungal shot.

Now Bat Cat III is an excellent hunter.  He's a great mouser, and he has acquired a taste for birds.  I'm not a cat, but I'm sure freshly killed game would taste better than cat food.  Plus Bob Cat has been claiming all cat food in the territory as his, to be distributed to his "bitches" as he sees fit.  I caught him playing "bitch" with Bat Cat III the other day.  You know what I mean: "If you want some of my food, then you are my bitch."  So I'm guessing that Bat Cat III is going independent of cat food.  What supports this hypothesis is that Bat Cat I hangs around the homestead every day, and he doesn't accept a pellet of cat food from me.  I pointed him out to my Dad just now, and my Dad said, "He's come here to visit you."  I replied, "No Dad, he's here all the time.  And I don't give him any food at all.  He's completely independent."  The smorgasbord provided by Allah here in the kampung is very generous: birds, frogs, fish, mice, snakes...  It's nice to rely only on Allah.  Do you think I should take Bat Cat III to the vet?

Well, I hope you are cheering up and feeling OK.  I want you to be happy, and happy with me.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150426

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Melancholy Baby.  Is that how you feel right now?  No, you've cheered up a little by now.  Sigh.  Well, I don't want you to be unhappy.  Because since you are in a high position, it affects the rest of us as well.  I want you to know that I have chosen to marry YOU, and I'm not about to go back on my decision easily.  This is because I love you, and I need you.  I need you to be my Queen, and to carry yourself as so with due dignity.  I wish I could buy you something to cheer you up, even if it were just a trinket.  If you were here, I would.

Grass grows so fast here, it's like I'm always cutting grass.  Today, I cut the grass over at your house inshaAllah.  It's a big area, and the growth is always thick with many rocks and stumps, so I can't do it all in one go.  It takes me 3 passes, therefore 3 different days.  I bought a huge compound for your house in Sims 3!  I had to cheat to get the money, but it's just a game and there's no other way.  Besides, my purpose is to design your house, not to play the game for the game's sake.  Why am I feeling so guilty?  I wish it were this simple in real life.  It's going to take me a long time before I have anything worthwhile to show you, so please don't anticipate it!

Floofy is so fat.  I tried to put her on a diet, but it doesn't seem to affect her.  It's as if she never lost her pregnancy fat.  Right now she's in my bedroom: she's the only one allowed in my bedroom because she's the most well-behaved of the bunch.  Which means she is the least likely to destroy something, make a mess, or commit the 3 dreaded P's (pee, poop, or puke) in my bedroom.  But she's still very active: running, jumping and climbing around all over the compound.  Even though her momentum is great, that she can't come to a sudden stop without doing a little sliding around.  Which goes to prove that one can be athletic, but fat.  A linebacker can be fat, but I don't want to have sex with a linebacker.  And Floofy?  She's a fat cat.

Letter to Erin 20150425

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  Darling!  Today I got to try that home made chocolate bar I made yesterday.  It tastes OK, it had snap like a chocolate bar should, but I can't seem to get that cooking chocolate flavor out.  You know, that taste of grease... I have half a kilo of cooking chocolate left.  I think I know a way to get rid of that taste.  InshaAllah.  Maybe I'll recook that chocolate bar I made, but that would make me lose my starting point, you know what I mean?

Grass grows very quickly here and it had been raining a lot lately, so I always find myself cutting grass.  Today I cut the grass around my little house.  The weather was so comfortable, it felt like autumn in Salt Lake City.  Almost.  I didn't break a sweat, though.  Which is great.  I like it cool.

You be cool too, dearest.  Many many kisses from me, the one who loves you and needs you.

Letter to Erin 20150424

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  Sweetie!  And how are you feeling today?  There's nothing much going on.  Just another mundane day.  I took Bat Cat III to the vet this morning.  There seems to be something growing on his earlobes.  It's been so wet lately, I'm guessing he needs an antifungal shot.  At the vet, I saw an interesting poster: the vet now has a dress code!  Would you believe that?  All male visitors must wear a long sleeved shirt, long pants, and no open toe sandals.  Next thing you know, they'll have me wear an ascot and a smoking jacket with pointy yellow shoes!  Do I have to make Batty Watty wear a tie for him to get an anti worm shot?

I tried to make a chocolate bar this evening.  As you know, I can't find cocoa butter anywhere in this town.  So I had to use generic cooking chocolate.  Cooking chocolate tastes greasy, and when I heated it up on the double boiler, there seemed to be a lot of grease pooling.  I had plenty of powdered milk and powdered malt, so I mixed that in there to the best of my ability.  So it does taste better than cooking chocolate, now it's cooling in the cooler.  It's not particularly what I want, even though it tastes OK.  Where can I find cocoa butter in this town?

Erin, I pray you are taking good care of yourself, maintaining your prayers and staying healthy.  Please know that I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150423

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Erin, I saw your video of your Global Citizen Ambassador stage appearance.

I've been practicing house design on the Sims 3 game.  Needless to say that it's not a professional architecture program, but it's one that I can relate to since I'm so obtuse at drawing.  It will be a while before I have something appropriate to show you.  Second Life has superior graphics over Sims 3.  You can see the difference when you compare my Sim to my Second Life avatar.  Buildings are also superior in quality in Second Life over Sims 3, but that's way beyond both my capability and motivation.  When I play Second Life, I just wanna look pretty and dance.  Plus you have to buy most things, while in Sims 3 everything is already paid for, including the money.  You should play Second Life.  Intelligence goes a long way in that game, and perhaps we can meet there and chat in real time.  I'm always at MyAnimation.

Whoops!  I stand corrected!  Bat Cat I and Bob Cat are facing off.  The problem is that they are both my friends, so I can't take sides.  Damned macho shitheads.  It's not as if I'm going to let the females in my house loose so they can get pregnant, but how do you explain that to a cat?  I'm just going to have to break up their fights without hurting anyone.  What a drag.

Erin, please be a good girl and take good care of yourself.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150422

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my beautiful Erin.  How are you feeling today, my beloved?  I'm sorry, but I couldn't do my voice training today- I had to take my Dad to the clinic.  Yeah.  But while I was waiting for him, I played the drum in the park.  In the evening, I cut the grass over at your house inshaAllah.  Someone put 3 banana hearts on a stump.  A banana heart is a banana flower.  At first I thought it was witchcraft and I was about to throw it into the firepit, but Floofy seemed to approve of it.  But what does a cat know.  Ya Allah, thank You for all the beautiful cats You have given me.  Please heal and protect them.

As you know, Bat Cat is a black and white cat with a black mask and white socks, and I have 2 Bat Cats.  Bat Cat I is totally independent: he doesn't need me at all, but he hangs out here anyway.  The other cats don't seem to have a problem with him, and he doesn't bother them.  He has bigger balls than Bob Cat, I think that's why.  In cat politics, the cat with the biggest balls wins.  Bat Cat III is the great observer.  Like the Watcher in the old X-men comics.  I saw a black cat and a white cat in my yard last morning.  They were prowling together, and fled together when I approached them.  What's the connection?  What does it mean?  It means, "Meow".

Do you remember what you were doing when you were newly born?  Well, I was active in the Salt Lake City music scene.  The scenesters in this video were the popular ones.  The SLC music scene back in 1989 was like high school to me: not only did I not fit in, I was LOATHED.  But I can't blame them.  I was as corrupt and insane as you would expect a troublemaker to be, my music wasn't that great and if I seem any better today, it's because Allah has mercy on me.  The goody two shoes conformists you see in this video were the popular ones, so it's no wonder me and Shadowplay are never mentioned.  It's tough being a rebel.  And even today, I'm more loathed than loved.  I guess high school never ends.

But today I have you in my life, Erin.  You don't know how much that means to me.  You simply just don't know.  So please don't be sad.  Please be patient and pray, because I love you and I need you.  I'm going to play Sims 3 now.  Getting there, Erin.  I need lots of money to build your house, and to give you a good married life.  Please pray.

Letter to Erin 20150421

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my beautiful and sensitive soulmate Erin.  Please don't be blue because I love you, and I assure you my love is true, and I want to marry you.  I wish we were already married and together.  So please be patient, and keep your will strong and brave.  And you are brave, my sweetheart.  Sure our work in the Public eye can be weird and tedious at times.  But that's how we met and who we are.  And it is kind of cool, don't you agree?  Alhamdulillah.

Dinner was a big hit, alhamdulillah.  I had one more chunk of sirloin left, marinading in my teriyaki sauce.  I sliced it up and mixed it back in the marinade with ginger and Thai peppers.  Then I fried it up until done.  Then I fried some chopped garlic in a sauce made of sweet bean paste, hot red pepper paste and sugar until simmering hot.  Then I added a whole block of fresh tofu.  You know how fresh tofu comes in blocks.  The trick is not to disintegrate the block, and smother it with the fried mix until hot.  Push it to one side of the pan and add the steak back in to mix with the sauce.  Remove the block of tofu first, put it in a bowl, and pour the rest of the stuff on top.  Looks and tastes great.  The tofu cuts and tastes like savory cream cheese.  Would you like some my dearest?  As soon as dinner was about to be served, all those flying ants came back.  There seems to be more than usual this year.

Erin I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150420

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  Sweetheart!  Mwah!  How are you?  There's nothing much going on here, just the same old.  It's raining right now.  It's a noisy storm too, with plenty of thunder and lightning.  The bolts aren't hitting very close though, but it's still a very vocal storm.

I bought a big block of cream cheese yesterday when I was at the big mall in Alor Setar.  There's nothing really special about the big mall, it's just a big mall, and if you've seen one mall, you've seen them all.  I can't really say there's a wider variety of products, just more.  I'm probably bummed out because I didn't find any blue cheese.  I saw some Camembert cheese which I should have bought since my Dad was buying, but I have never had Camembert cheese and I had my heart set on blue cheese.  So I got a big chunk of cream cheese.  So for dinner I rolled 2 dough balls, stuffed them with cream cheese, then deep fried them.  With my marinara sauce on the side.  Simplicity!  I wonder how this cream cheese works for lasagna: I saw some lasagna noodles the other day.  It probably won't spread easily, because I had to shape today's cheese with my fingers.  But it was cold, though.

After the rain stopped, I played on my little snare drum again.  I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the best drummer in the world.  I just play what I feel.  And nowadays, I just feel like pounding out rhythms of the Qur'an.

I wish you were here with me, my beloved Erin.  I want you to take good loving care of yourself, OK?  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150419

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, Erin my dearest.  How are you feeling today?  I love you very much, so I want you to feel healthy and confident.  I'm sorry I couldn't do my voice training, so I hope your and your bosses weren't betting too much on today's activities.  My orders are to be consistent but inshaAllah God will forgive me this lapse, because I had to visit my aunt.  She has fallen seriously ill: she has lung cancer which spread to the rest of her body including her spine, which effectively paralyzed her from the waist down.  The odd thing is that not only does she not smoke, but she carried herself fine until the last 10 days when she hacked up blood.  They took an MRI and found the lumps.  My Dad is a chain smoker and older than her, but he doesn't have the same problem.  God certainly works in mysterious ways.

On the way there, we stopped for lunch.  At my table, there were 2 Bat Cat clones, and they were both female.  I had never met a female Bat Cat clone before!  One of them was sleeping, and the other was lying on the floor and waving her paw at me.  When I got home, Bat Cat didn't show up for dinner.  What's the connection?  What does it mean?  It means "Meow".  Ha!  I'm not telling.  I'm meowing.

I pray you are doing well, and staying healthy, and eating well, and getting enough rest.  I'm, doing OK, thank you.  Alhamdulillah.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150418

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, Erin my darling.  And how are you feeling today?  Life goes on, doesn't it.  Here I wait for you, for the time when we can be married.  Ya Allah, please help and protect us.

It rained heavily today.  The rain broke in the evening, so I was able to do a little bit of yard work.  So I went to prune the bamboo in front of my house, across the road to the elementary school.  I used to hack it up with a machete, but now I find it more aesthetic to just use a hand pruner.  I found some perfect lengths of bamboo for use as drumsticks.  I love bamboo.  I love bamboo drumsticks as opposed to those machined drumsticks other drummers use.  Not only are they springier with many variations of texture and weight, but also bamboo is curved.  But I think the real reason I love bamboo so much is that my hands are too big and clumsy to spin drumsticks, so I use bamboo because no one else does.

Nothing special from me on the menu today.  My Mom made some rice, so I had that for both lunch and dinner, the difference being that lunch was fried anchovies and dinner was sirloin.  I pray you are having a great time, plus taking it easy.  Erin, I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150417

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh hi, Erin Sweetie.  How are you feeling today?  I pray you are feeling healthy and confident.  It's just another mundane day here for me.  I fell back to sleep after the dawn prayer, woke up at 9 am, cleaned the cat room, took a shower and went to pay the bills, I had rice vermicelli soup for breakfast and stuffed won tons for lunch, changed the spark plug on my motorcycle, voice trained, went to buy a can of tomato soup, baby powder and a loaf of bread for my parents, cut the grass over at my grandparents' grave, had noodles in fish broth for dinner, now I'm writing to you.

I've played the Sims before, not Sims 3 but I remember that it was impossible to backtrack.  Perhaps if I wiped out the hard drive and reinstalled the program.  But I'm REALLY studying up for this game, so I don't make many errors, and get a nice house designed for you.  And my goal is to build your house.  I was thinking about playing as a single Sim, but as far as I remember, Sims die if they're lonely, so I'm going to have to play with a Sim of you.  We will be married.  Perhaps we've always been married.  God, I wonder how long it will take me to build that house...  Say, how about you install the same game and the same situation on your computer?  I would be curious to see how your Sim couple of us would turn out.  Don't worry about me: if I make a mistake, I'll just wipe out the hard drive and start again.  I'll make absolutely sure my Sim couple have a happy ending.  InshaAllah.  Oh wait, this manual says I can save multiple games!  That's nice.  Hey, maybe I will play as a single Sim, but how do I fit you onto your house?  Oh wait, the goal is to build the house.  Duh.

Erin, please try to slow down and take good care of yourself, OK?  I want you to be happy, and happy with me.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150416

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Aw Erin, you're such a sweetheart.  And you're so beautiful.  I really love you, and I need you.

Have you been working on your house plans?  I'm not talented in drawing, not even when aided by a computer.  Did I tell you I bought some computer equipment yesterday?  It was an external DVD drive, something that can read the software around here.  So I finally have a home design software that I can deal with: the Sims 3!  Well even then, it's going to take me some time to design a house, not because I'm such an idiot at drawing, but also because I don't even have a concept yet.  I would rather go by your house plans, Erin.  Perhaps you can show me what you have so far?

Let's see... design a Sim... face, eyebrows, lips, nose, hair... lifetime goals, personality... You know what, Erin?  It's going to take me a very LONG time to design a house on this program.

There is no escaping from God.  We feel that we can drown out reality, but it only makes us confront it.  Especially when the drugs and alcohol wear off.  The other option is to embrace it.  Plunge into the vortex.  And let me tell you Erin, that Allah will grant us a speedy victory.  InshaAllah.

Letter to Erin 20150415

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you feeling today?  Are you feeling like a million dollars?  Well, you are so precious to me.  My beautiful Erin.

Today, I went downtown first thing in the morning to pick up a welfare payment from the government.  Which is great, of course.  Alhamdulillah.  I used the money to buy some computer equipment, and lighting for my little house.  I got an LED tube to replace my fluorescent tube, and I bought a fixture too.  The salesgirl said it was a piece of cake to change, with a simpler design than the fluorescent fixture.  The problem was that it's on my ceiling. and my ladder is short and so am I.  Plus I'm short sighted.  I had to climb up to the top rung of my ladder to do the work, and these feet don't offer much balance.  Then I was squinting to drive the screws in.  At one instant, the screw fell to the floor and I didn't know it, so I spent some time turning and turning the screwdriver, wondering why nothing was happening.  Good thing my bedroom is air conditioned.  It took me a good one and a half hours to finish the job.  I just got done, and I haven't had dinner yet.  But I thought I would write this letter first, then eat after the night prayer.  Something quick.  I'm thinking noodles.

Cats can get pretty annoying when they're in heat.  But not little ----.  She's so cute.  Everytime I pet her, she says the same thing: Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Sometimes I don't even have to touch her, and we would engage in long conversations together of the same topic: Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr? Rowr?  What was the question again?

Say, this LED tube is pretty cool.  It should last about 30 years or so.  No, I didn't waste anything.  The old tube I got from the next room, so now it's time to put it back.  It's about time this place had some real light.  Erin, I hope you are feeling great.  I love you so much, and I want you to be happy.  I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150414

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my beautiful Erin.  You are MY girl!  Mine, mine, MINE!  So please don't be blue, because the one I want to marry is you.

This time, it's ----'s turn to go into heat.  She's not a howler like ----.  Rather, she prefers to hang onto my foot wherever I go, so I would have a cat weight when I try to walk.  Which is not advisable, because my feet are injured, so my balance isn't perfect, and I might trip and accidentally squash her.  However, it is convenient to pet her with my foot, which is acceptable to her as well.  A cat in heat really appreciates being petted, but I'm afraid I can't sit there all day and pet her.  I wanna pet you!

I had a hankering for eggplant today, since the Iron Chef eggplant battle came up on TV while I was voice training.  So I bought a kilo of green eggplant at the night market.  I deep fried half of them, then arranged them neatly in a round baking pan.  Then I smothered them with my marinara sauce, and put cheese on top.  Then I baked it.  So for dinner is baked eggplant with marinara sauce and cheese, with sirloin steak on the side.  Oh, it's so yummy!  Alhamdulillah!  Would you like to join me for dinner, Sweetheart?  Munchkin?  Pudding Pie?  Oh, I have to eat alone?  Oh well, c'est la vie.  But I love you.  And I need you.

Qur'an 20150414

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

23.  That is whereof Allah gives glad tidings to God's servants who believe and do righteous deeds.  Say, "No reward do I ask of you for this except the love of those near of kin."  And if anyone earns any good, We shall give him an increase in good in respect thereof, for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Ready To Appreciate.

The Consultation 42:23
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No reward do I ask of you for this except the love of those near of kin.

Letter to Erin 20150413

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

You're such a sweetheart, Erin.  I believe that you have a pure heart, and that's what I love most about you.  I don't want you to change that.  But you just can't be friends with everybody.  I'm afraid it's impossible for someone in your position.  It's even impossible for a complete nobody to be friends with everybody.  But you want a career, and since you are at the top mashaAllah, you're going to have very few friends.  Friends that matter, that is.  Does that make you sad?  No, I'm sure you are mature enough to know that.

There are 3 types of people you must not be friends with, in fact Allah forbids that you befriend them.  They are the people who fight you for your Islam, the people who try to force you out of your home, and the people who help the people who try to force you out of your home.

I'm certain now that that black and white spotted cat who punched Bob Cat in the eye is actually after Floofy.  Bobby was probably trying to protect his mother all this while.  Today I saw that other cat face Floofy off while Bobby was absent.  I chased him off, but I just can't seem to get a good hit with my stick: there are too many trees in the way.  But if he's persistent, than I can be patient.  One day inshaAllah, my aim will be true.

I wish I were with you but since I can't be, I want you to take sweet loving care of yourself in my absence.  Erin, you are so very precious to me.  I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20150413

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

15.  Now then for that, call and stand steadfast as you are commanded.  Nor follow their vain desires but say, "I believe in the Book which Allah has sent down, and I am commanded to judge justly between you.  Allah is our Lord and your Lord.  For us our deeds, and for you your deeds.  There is no contention between us and you.  Allah will bring us together, and to God is the final goal."

The Consultation 42:15
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I believe in the Book which Allah has sent down, and I am commanded to judge justly between you.  Allah is our Lord and your Lord.  For us our deeds, and for you your deeds.  There is no contention between us and you.  Allah will bring us together, and to God is the final goal.

Letter to Erin 20150412

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey there, Erin my darling.  How are you feeling today?  How's your home?  It is a nice place to kick back and relax?  Is it a nice place to work pleasurably?  People aren't bugging you too much at home?  Ya Allah, please protect my beloved Erin.

Oh I'm trying to keep things mundane as usual.  Nothing's perfect of course, and I don't get to sleep all day, but I don't feel good if I sleep too much any way.  Everything has to be just right.  Damned worldly perfection!  I wanted to do a lot of pruning after the Asr prayer, but it rained heavily.  So I gave up on yard work, and instead I made chicken noodle soup for dinner.  Lunch wasn't all that extraordinary either.  I had one last dough ball and some sausage to finish off, so I made a calzone.  After I finish this letter, I'll play the drum for a bit, then veg out and watch TV.

I pray you are trying to slow down as well, and take care of your precious heart.  Please know that I love you very much, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150411

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I suppose there has been too much cat activity around here lately.  So this morning about 4 am, a wild dog came to my house and started barking at my cats.  Then I went outside to chase it away, and it ran off to the other houses to do its barking fit.  Yeah, there are wild dogs around here.  They live in the jungle and the ditches, and they usually don't show themselves to humans because someone would call the Department of Animal Control to send someone to shoot them.  But it's 4 am, so no one would, and the dog had its day in the spotlight.  Kitty Cat Kitty Cat, Meow! Meow! Meow!  Doggy Woggy Doggy Woggy, Bow Wow Wow!

But Bobby got me all upset this evening.  He's been scratching his eye again, and it made me livid.  Bobby, it's Friday!  The vet is closed on weekends!  And that eye won't heal if you scratch it!  I think he's been toying with me all week, so I can feel helpless on the weekend.  I got so mad with him, it gave me heartburn.  But I agree with the dog, that there has been too much cat drama lately.  So I cut down the cat tails that were growing by my porch.  Oh don't worry, they'll grow back.

Well I hope you're doing great, my beloved Erin.  I'm just trying to keep things mundane around here.  Please take good care of yourself Sweetheart.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150410

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Erin, my darling.  How are you feeling today?  Are you feeling feminine today?  Well, I'm not.  It's hard to feel feminine when I'm not pretty.  I feel like a chimpanzee.  I feel like screaming, and thumping the trunks of trees.

Yeah it's been crazy lately, and people have been behaving crazy, but that's been par of the course for me for a long time already, and me alone but alhamdulillah.  It's both a curse and a blessing of the music, for which I am grateful to Allah.  I don't consider myself a good or pure man: if it seems that way, then Allah set it up that way.  Allah has been pretty much my only friend, and for that I am grateful.  But I don't need it to be crazy just for the sake of being crazy like most people.  So I hope you don't mind if I try to keep life mundane to the point of lazy.

Allah did give me some cats, alhamdulillah.  Bob Cat is finally winning all of his fights, and I don't have to do his fighting for him.  Even the cats know that, and they start their fights at my inconvenience, like when I'm trying to sleep, or taking a dump etc.  But like I said, Bobby has been winning his fights lately.  I mean what's the point of being macho if you don't win your fights?  I have to fight on a spiritual level, so I just try to do what Allah tells me to do by inspiration through the Qur'an.  InshaAllah.

You don't have that kind of problem.  Women don't have that kind of problem.  Men have to be soldiers, and stuff like that.  But I want you to keep yourself safe, because you are very precious to me.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150409

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

That was I big tuna I bought the other day.  Huge.  Almost 2 and a half kilos.  I was planning to make breaded tuna cutlets for fish and chips, but I wound up steaming all that meat instead.  Tuna salad mix!  First I had to make some mayo.  Then I chopped up fresh cilantro and red onions, broke up all that steamed tuna meat into a mixing bowl, and folded in a lot of mayo, with salt, pepper, and lime juice.  Tuna salad mix is so easy, but it has a short life, and I had a lot of it.  I mean a LOT.  No!  Not a salad!  Not with my tuna salad mix!  So last night, it was a tuna salad burrito with lettuce and tomatoes, or shall I say wrap?  This morning I went and bought a loaf of sliced bread, so for lunch I had tuna salad sandwiches with lettuce and tomatoes, and for dinner I had tuna melts with lettuce, tomatoes and melted cheese.  I'm about tuna-ed out right now, but I have to say it's pretty good tuna mix.  I have one serving left.  Would you like a tuna salad?  With ranch dressing?  Erin dearest?

I pray that you taking it easy, but having a great time.  Erin you are my love, and I love you with all my heart.  I love you, and I need you.

Oh, I need to report that after taking an even closer look, Floofy didn't get the tip of her tail cut off after all- it was a different cat.  Sorry folks, but Floofy sure put up a great act as if that severed tail was hers.  If there had been a hex or threat intended with that cat tail, it wasn't meant for me.  But I took that tail and put it on my side of the wall anyway.

Qur'an 20150409

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

52.  Say, "Do you see if this is from Allah, and yet you reject it?  Who is more astray than one who is in a schism, far?"

53.  Soon will We show them Our Signs in the regions, and in their own souls, until it becomes manifest to them that this is the Truth.  Is it not enough that your Lord does witness all things?

Expounded 41:52-53
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Do you see if this is from Allah, and yet you reject it?  Who is more astray than one who is in a schism, far?

Letter to Erin 20150408

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Floofy's tail got chopped off!  Yes, the end of Floofy's tail got cut off.  I was gassing up the motorcycle over at my parents' house, and I saw a cat tail in front of my younger brother's door.  It looked like Floofy's tail, but I thought to myself this morning when I fed her, she still had a long tail.  I looked again during the evening feeding, and yes, she still had a long tail.  Then the next day, I looked closer, and it seemed that her tail didn't seem so long.  And the tip of her tail had been cut: a clean cut, done by a blade.  So no cat could have done it.

So is it witchcraft or innuendo?  Sorcery is an act of paganism because it invokes powers other than God's, and actions speak louder than words.  The other option is innuendo, and I have been threatened with innuendo all my life, from the worst kind of humans.  Allah knows who did it, and I study the Qur'an and Allah guides me inshaAllah, so I know who did it too.  This is a case of perversion of the truth in the Signs of God.  May these people realize that Allah is Forgiving as well as strict in punishment.

Meanwhile Floofy seems to be handling it well.  She spent the afternoon inside, and I hugged her tight and comforted her.  There doesn't seem to be any infection inshaAllah.  Poor Floofy.  Bob Cat's eye is tearing up excessively, so I had to incarcerate him to make sure his eye doesn't fuse shut.  I caged Bat Cat with him to keep him company.  Poor Bobby.  Ya Allah, please protect and heal all my kitties, and punish those who hurt them.

What drama!  What a never ending show!  That's Shadowplay TV, the best and most watched TV station in the world mashaAllah.  Just in case there's a butterfly effect, I want you to be cautious too.  Don't take anything for granted, and learn to read hearts.  Please stay at home in you are not working or absolutely have to go out.  Ya Allah, please protect my sweet Erin.  Erin I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150407

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Dahlink.  How are you feeling today?  How's my Rock and Roll Babe?  It's hot again today.  Ugh.  Just like yesterday.  It rained at sunset yesterday, so I suppose it will rain again today.  The humidity makes the heat miserable, and weakens the AC.  Thank God for AC!  I don't like hot weather, and I loathed the desert when I lived there.  What I miss is the Salt Lake City mountains, and its distinct 4 seasons.  But I love the kampung, I love it right after the rain stops, and I love the seafood here.  Alhamdulillah.

So I went to the market first thing in the morning today.  My front tire went flat about a mile out, so I had to turn back and take my Dad's motorcycle.  I bought a kilo of tomatoes.  There were some large snapper there today, but I really didn't feel like scaling fish, and you need a pair of pliers with the big snapper.  So the catch of the day is... tuna!  Specifically, short tailed tuna, or known locally as Tongol.  There was a small mountain of tuna today, and dirt cheap too, probably because there were so many.  RM3 a kilo.  That's cheaper than mackerel by about 60%, so I bought a big fish over 2 kilos.  It's the type of tuna that they use in the budget cans in your air conditioned supermarket.  It's not as tasty as yellowfin tuna (I've never had bluefin), in fact I don't like it for sushi at all.  Tastes watery on the unpalatable side.  But I'm guessing it will make great fish and chips, and fish broth.  And no scales!  There was so much meat left over after I processed it, so my cats had the motherlode of snacks.  Mondo snackipoo-o!

Bob Cat's eye seems a lot better today, so I didn't take him to the vet.  The swelling has gone down, and he can almost open it all the way.  And that bald patch between his shoulders... I'm certain that's a battle scar made bigger by scratching.  There's some hair growth happening.  I hope it's not a blood disease.  Feline leukemia is incurable and highly contagious.  Ya Allah, please heal and protect all my kitties.

So are you and your friends coming over for dinner?  Or are you just sailing?  For dinner was sausage and fresh tomatoes in marinara sauce, served with deep fried bread.  I would love to see you.  I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20150407

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

44.  Had We sent this as a Qur'an other than Arabic, they would have said, "Why are not its verses explained in detail?  What!  Not in Arabic, and an Arab?"  Say, "It is a guide and a healing to those who believe, and for those who believe not, there is deafness in their ears, and also blindness.  They are being called from a place far distant!"

Expounded 41:44
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It is a guide and a healing to those who believe, and for those who believe not, there is deafness in their ears, and also blindness.  They are being called from a place far distant!

Letter to Erin 20150406

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Sweetheart.  How are you feeling today?  Are you making a house?  How's the hair?  It's hot here.  Ugh.  Right now, it's almost 5 pm.  I usually use this time to tend the yard, but it's so hot right now, I think I'll procrastinate.  There's always something to do around here, and what's next on my list is filling up peat pots with dirt, then doing more burning to create more dirt.  But first I'll go search for more mango seeds.  Oh, my first hybrids turned out OK.  At this point it looks like out of my first 7, 4 of them survived.  But it could be that they would spring back to life, so I'll let them be for a while.

Bob Cat keeps scratching his eye, so I keep on having to clean it and ice it down.  I think it's time for his first visit to the vet.  The vet is such a long drive away, and they're not open weekends and public holidays.  Plus this bald spot between his shoulders seems to be getting bigger.  Call me paranoid, but I'm worried it could be some kind of brain or blood disease.  Maybe the vet will tell me otherwise.  Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Well it's 10:30 pm now, and I'm just watching TV.  It's a evaluation of Paiste crash cymbals.  I don't know where I'm going to fit a full drum kit in my tiny little bedroom, because I'm certainly not going to play drums without air conditioning.  Well I can I suppose, for that total heart failure effect.  I'm going to have to install AC in the next room.  Plus a divider to keep the cats away from the drum mics.  I can make quite a racket with just one small drum, imagine what a noise I can make with a whole kit.  I want to express the Fury of Allah with my drumming, inshaAllah.

I pray you are having a great time and taking it easy on your heart.  I wish we were together.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150405

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It had been a 3 month long dry season, when the rains finally came.  Alhamdulillah.  I was about to make a batch of dough after the sunset prayer, when my kitchen became inundated with flying ants.  There was a huge cloud of them swarming at the light.  Oh no!  I can't make dough with all that going on!  So I shut all the lights off except the outside light, and went to practice my guitar.  So at 9:30 pm, I saw that the ants were done with their business and my kitchen was clear, and it was clear outside as well.  I turned the light back on and proceeded to make dough.  When I was about half way through, all the flying ants came back!

Floofy wasn't happy with me for allowing her son to get punched in the eye.  But he chose it!  He didn't want my help!  So she turned her back on me for a whole day, and refused to eat.  I had to go and get her, and put her in front of the food for her to take a few pellets.  Later on she calmed down and ate all her food, but is that how you would treat me if I didn't intervene in your son's fights to his advantage?  You do realize that not only would I be the shortest in the family, but also out age everybody else by at least 23 years?  I'm going to have to bring a rocket launcher to every one of your son's contests.  What if he were in a basketball team?  Do you want me to blow up all his competition?

Well that aside, I ask you again to please be patient with me as I am patient with you in the nature of our work.  Rock stars and supermodels.  If you have any concerns, please voice them to me, as I always look out for you.  I love you Erin, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150404

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello tender heart!  Hi Dreamer Girl!  Aw Erin, I love you so much.  There's so much insanity going on right now, I feel the way to counter this madness is madness of a different kind.  There is a method to this madness, and it will have to be applied until we are married inshaAllah, so please bear with me.  Please trust me on this.  You are my girl, Erin.  I love you, and I need you.

Do you remember that I told you Bob Cat's nemesis is a Bat Cat clone?  Well I took a closer look at him and he doesn't look much like Bat Cat.  He's a black and white cat all right, but he doesn't have a mask and socks like Batty Watty.  He's just a spotted cat.  The other day, there was much snarling going on at your house inshaAllah, so I picked up a stick and went to check it out.  Bobby Wobby and his rival were facing off, and mama cat Floofy was watching.  So I went to help him, and chased the other cat off.  Then Bobby turned to me and growled, "Don't interfere!" then followed his enemy.  What would you do if your kid were a fighter by nature?  Would you incarcerate him, or back him up?  Apparently the subject of contention is your house, so my place is to back him up.  At first I let him be, so he tracked down the other cat and went to scrapping at the far side of the house.  The other cat gave Bobby a solid punch in the eye, and now it's swollen and I had to ice it down.  So I guess the next time that cat comes in range of my stick, I'm going to have to give him a whack.  There's a probability that he belongs to the neighbor, so I can't hurt him too much.  More to come.

Letter to Erin 20150403

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I've been trying to tell you this for a long time already, but you can't seem to grasp it.  How can I shout it at you?  I'm too far away!  So let's try this: ***THERE IS NO PRESSURE***YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING TO MAINTAIN YOUR SUCCESS***YOUR POSITION IS BEING MAINTAINED FOR YOU***  God is maintaining it for you.  If you just can't have faith in God, then you are under a lot of real and serious pressure.  So be grateful to God, and don't complain about your position!  You're not destitute!  You don't have people trying to kill you all the time!  So what about all that running around you do?  That's just you.  It's your force of habit.  So make a habit of slowing down.  Plus I love you for your work of charity, but please don't overdo it.  Don't be a hero.  It is not your place to be the hero.  You are the damsel, not the hero.

I don't like to harp on the things we have in common, but one of them is that we share an addictive personality.  Which is why I don't want you to even touch drugs and alcohol.  But you're an adult and you're too far away, so I can't stop you.  Just be sure to stop when the time comes, and it will come inshaAllah.  Don't think I don't feel as you feel.  Hell, I'm an old man, and I'm going to have to start doing drugs to rejuvenate my virility.  Desire isn't good enough anymore.  But there has to be some other way, a better way than drugs...

People are behaving insane right now, aren't they?  Totally looney!  But that insanity doesn't really apply to us.  That's because mashaAllah (by the will of God), we are in the eye of the hurricane.  So you have basketball players surrounding you and wanting to play one-on-one with you.  You're in the center, that's why.  And I don't want to have sex with or marry Megan Fox.  I just want to look like her.  Before the plastic surgery, that is.  With a great looking rack, and a big dick.  But that's impossible in this life.  I don't want to marry them, I want to marry you.  And you know I can't slut around on you, because I would get caught!  We are in the eye of the hurricane, by the will of God.  I love my parents dearly, but our parents will never understand our business of marriage.  That's because they are our parents.  Enough said.  Ya Allah, please have mercy on my parents as they cherished me in childhood.

I want to say how cute you look in bangs.  You are the most beautiful girl in the world to me.  I have chosen to marry you, Erin.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20150402

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Yeah, I definitely don't want a donkey dick.  You can't wear a miniskirt or dress with a dick that big.  I'm sure God will relax the dress code by then, inshaAllah.  Oh my God!  I don't even know if I'm going to heaven, but I'm getting so excited!  Ya Allah, please forgive our sins, and allow us to enter heaven.

I need to make a report for Cat News.  My female kittens are currently in heat.  ---- is the one who is suffering the most from the need to spawn.  So far she never howls when I'm asleep, and when she does howl, she goes to the far side of the house.  The other two have a more relaxed attitude, but it's probably because the major wave of emotion hasn't hit them yet.  The boys don't have the same problem, because they can't get pregnant.  So they are enjoying their lives as outdoor cats.  Bob Cat is a big, brawny boy now, and he's still growing.  He seems to know what territory is his as I would want him to see it.  And he's bold, and he chases his enemies away great distances.  He just acquired his first battle scar, and his first major rival is a Bat Cat clone.  He's afraid of his mother though, and she knows it.  She likes to follow him around and torment him.  He never fights back, but just runs away.  Bat Cat is a more laid back fellow.  He's the type that likes to watch from a distance, or back up his brother.  Ya Allah, thank You for my beautiful cats.

Of course I love you, Erin.  You're my girl!  I need you.  So please don't be blue, because I will marry you inshaAllah.  Please be patient, until Allah grants me the means to finance our marriage.  Meanwhile you want to focus on your career while you have the advantage, and the best time is now before you marry.  So please have fun, be a good girl, maintain your prayers, and take good care of yourself, OK?

Qur'an 20150402

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

13.  But if they turn away, say, "I have warned you of a stunning punishment like that of the 'Ad and the Thamud!"

Expounded 41:13
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I have warned you of a stunning punishment like that of the 'Ad and the Thamud!