Letter to Julia 20140331

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

As you know, little Floofy Ramadan will be having kittens, inshaAllah.  Her pregnancy is just starting to show, and it's affecting her balance.  She tried to jump onto the chair, but she couldn't make it all the way, and she flopped over and landed on her butt.  I thought she would be OK just hanging around the compound during the day, then spending her nights in the house, after all, it is kind of hot and dry right now.  Ugh.  I hate hot weather.  Thank Allah for air conditioning.  Well, one day she didn't report home one night, and I got all stressed out.  Then when she casually came strolling in the next afternoon, I asked her, "Where have you been?  Wandering around when you're pregnant?  How could you?"  She replied "Meow," which I'm sure implied, "Yeah, yeah".  Serves me right for asking a cat rhetorical questions.  So I sentenced Floofy to be imprisoned to the house until her kittens are strong enough to wander around.

Which started my thinking, should I keep you prisoner to the house when you're pregnant?  No, you're not a cat.  I wouldn't want to leave you alone even to throw out the trash, but I would stock up on emergency rations anyhow.  Perhaps a truck full of canned and dried foods, and a dozen giant bottles at any given time filled with drinking water, 6 full canisters of LPG gas, etc etc.  If you want a pizza, we can just call Domino's or something.  should I barricade the door?  You're going to have to follow to Friday prayers.  They have a separate and air conditioned room for the women now.  Please don't go wandering around when you're pregnant.  Take me along.  Let's just stay here, OK?  I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140331

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

106.  And most of them believe not in Allah without associating with God!

107.  Do they then feel secure from the coming against them of the covering veil of the wrath of Allah, or of the coming against them of the Hour, all of a sudden, while they perceive not?

108.  Say you, "This is my Way.  I do invite unto Allah, on evidence clear as the seeing with one's eyes, I and whoever follows me.  Glory to Allah!  And never will I join gods with Allah!"

109.  Nor did We send before you any but men, whom We did inspire, living in human habitations.  Do they not travel through the earth, and see what was the end of those before them?  But the home of the Hereafter is best, for those who do right.  Will you not then understand?

110.  Until when Our messengers giveup hope, and think they were treated as liars, there reaches them Our help,and those whom We will are delivered into safety.  But never will be warded off Our punishment from those who are in sin.

Joseph 12:106-110
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This is my Way.  I do invite unto Allah, on evidence clear as the seeing with one's eyes, I and whoever follows me.  Glory to Allah!  And never will I join gods with Allah!

Letter to Julia 20140329

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there most beautiful in the world Julia and Erin.  I love you, I love you.  I've decided that stuffing seafood with seafood doesn't work.  Because it confuses the palate.  Perhaps if it were the stuffing were the same type of meat as the thing it was stuffing, then it might be better.  I don't know.  From now on, I'm stuffing my fish with aromatic herbs and spices only.  I still have a lot of blended squid and onion left, so I made some squid balls.  Oh, you didn't know squid had balls?  Oh, ha ha.  Here the locals often cook with squid balls, fish balls, etc.  Basically like meatballs.  I made my squid balls with rice flour.  I fried them up, and they browned nicely and looked and smelled great.  Smelled like squid, but tasted like steamed rice.  Not unpalatable, but a failure.  I want my squid balls to taste like squid.  I'm haven't been fortunate with squid lately.  In my cooking, that is.

Letter to Julia 20140326

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my dearest wives.  You are my love and my life, and I love you with all my heart.  I was searching for Julia at Victoria's Secret for my TV station yesterday, so I was trawling through videos looking and looking for my Julia.  Now you know I don't hunt for Julia anymore on the Internet because I don't want to come across any bad news and/or lies: at least I have my bubble of fantasy to help sustain my optimism, but I thought Victoria's Secret would be an OK source for me to see my Julia again.  I found lots of Erin, but no Julia.  You're so secretive, Julia.  I bet I'm more secretive than you, though.  I'm sorry I couldn't wait around to drool over you Erin, because my Internet time was short, and I had to find as much of Julia at Victoria's Secret as quickly as possible.  I didn't, so it looks like Shadowplay TV is going to be heavy on Erin over Julia.  Please forgive me Julia my dearest heart.  I thank you for your love and patience with me.  But I suppose Erin is the queen of Victoria's Secret, while Julia is the quenn of everything else.  That's a rather nice arrangement.  You are my Queens.  You are not just you anymore, you are me.  You are MINE, MINE.
 
On the menu for dinner tonight is sushi.  The fish is torpedo scad, with eggs and chives.  My Dad got me an extra large scad, so I hollowed it out, and will grill the rest tomorrow inshaAllah.  I think I'll stuff it with squid meatballs.  Yeah, I bought a kilo of baby squid at the night market Monday, so I blended it up with onions, after removing the spines and ink sacs.  Baby squid is tedious.  But anyway, I made 24 man-sized sushi rolls.  I ate 18 of them so I'm stuffed, so you both can have the last 6.  Oh, you want more?  I thought you were models.  OK OK, I'll make you more.  Because I love you, I love you.  But tomorrow it's extra laps on the treadmill.

Letter to Julia 20140324

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

My washing machine broke down today.  Gah!  It just won't start.  It's an old machine my Mom gave me.  I guess I'm going to have to wash my clothes by hand.  High fashion, huh?  Good thing my clothes are cheap.

I'm sure you've observed now that the Qur'an is more powerful than any book of magic.  That's because the Qur'an is the Word of God, not magic, and Allah is the Reality.  The Qur'an does guide to that which is most right, and the believers who work righteousness will have a magnificent reward.  But for the wrongdoers and the insincere, it will cause loss after loss.  "When you do read the Qur'an, seek Allah's protection from Satan the rejected one. (Bees 16:98)"  And please take it slow.  Don't try to cram in as much of the Qur'an as quickly as possible.  "High above all is Allah, the Ruler, the Truth.  Be not in haste with the Qur'an before its revelation to you is completed but say, 'O my Lord!  Advance me in knowledge.'" (Ta Ha 20:114)  So go ahead and ash God a question.  Offer a prayer first before you do your reading.  I've stopped asking questions.  I just try to do what I'm told the best I can.  I find Allah to be most Gracious, most Merciful.  And please don't forget, the goal is the Hereafter and that we'll get there together in happiness and peace.

Now please excuse me while I go rinse my clothes.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140322

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my most beautiful in the world Julia and Erin.  How are those precious emotions today?  It has been hot and dry here.  I prefer the 4 seasons without a hot summer.  I prefer temperate to slightly cold weather, but I'm sure my feet don't.  I'm pretty sure you both don't like cold weather either.  Well, it hardly ever gets cold around here.  And if it does, it's usually nothing a blanket or a snuggle can't fix.

I'm watching "High Plains Drifter" right now on Shadowplay TV.  Again?  The computer chooses the show, or rather the randomizer chooses the show, so I suppose in a way Allah chooses the show by taking over the computer.  Plus, I have been asking Allah for guidance, and to be my program director.  But of course, I could always skip to the next show, which of course the computer chooses for me.  Have you noticed that in this movie all the sweaty cowboys have beautiful teeth?  I suppose they had super orthodontists back in the Old West.  I just added some Victoria's Secret ads and interviews into the programming, to be shown whenever the computer feels like it.  The Best and Most-Watched TV station in the world, mashaAllah!  My pleasure.  I will always endorse you, because I love you and I want to marry you.  And I love you and I want to marry you.  Makeup tips from Erin Heather!

On the menu tonight is chicken, potato and bamboo shoot stew.  Want some?

Letter to Julia 20140320

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again, my dearest Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  I pray that you are feeling healthy and confident.  I am feeling lazy as usual.  I spent the evening cutting grass around Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  The yard there is gradually becoming more and more pleasing to the eye.  Do you like tapioca?  I seem to be good at growing tapioca.  If you look at that old house, you would see that there is a lot to tear down.  My aunt suggested to recycle as much as we can.  The glass windowpanes can be reused, the wood would probably make good fencing, and all the brick and rock could be used to raise and strengthen the ground floor.  Now, I'm not a master builder or carpenter.  I'm a musician.  I watch a lot of "This Old House", but I can't even build a henhouse, and I certainly don't have the tools.  Oh dear, I'm starting to feel really lazy.  I have to vacuum clean my bedroom first before I can veg out and watch TV.  Oh no, I have to vacuum first.  I hate housecleaning!  But I love you.  And I love you.

Letter to Julia 20140318

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest Julia and Erin!  Mwah!  Mwah!  MMMMuuuuuWAH!!!  Yeah, it's still my week of isolation, but it looks like I just can't tear myself away from my beloved.  I love you, I love you, so much and with all my heart.  I wish you were hear with me.  You are so beautiful, I long to be married to you, and be with you always.

So what's the news?  It's just the same old same old around here.  I had beef and potato curry with home made flat bread for dinner.  It was that sirloin I bought the other day.  It turned out to be fattier than I anticipated.  Yummy!  It's almost like beef and potato stew, except that it's curry.  Want some?  There's some construction going on at my Mom's house, and there's a lot of extra tile and rock that might be put to use.  Like raising the ground floor over at Casa de Julia up higher above the potential flood level.  Floofy finally got herself inseminated, inshaAllah.  It was that handsome greyish-brown tomcat with long, striped legs.  He's got blue eyes!  I want those kittens.  Ya Allah, please make them beautiful, healthy and happy.  It finally rained.  No, it's not weather distortion: it's supposed to be the dry season now.  My cooler was bleeding a few days ago.  No, it wasn't from any meats inside the cooler.  I checked.  MashaAllah, I seem to attract ghosts.  You both had better be prepared for the supernatural when you marry me, inshaAllah.  I'll teach you the proper incantations, inshaAllah.  The most basic is, "I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the rejected."  Now I'm watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show 2000 on Shadowplay TV.  Oh my God!  Doesn't this station play anything else?  It should be renamed "The Victoria's Secret Channel".  But yeah, it's just the same old routine around here.  I love you, I love you.

Now please remember my dearest and precious wives, that the goal of our marriage is to slow down and raise a family.  Yes, it may be hectic and exciting right now, but you must not slide down into the abyss as quickly as the others.  YOU are the Rock and Roll Princess.  Slow down.  Make 'em wait for you.

Letter to Julia 20140313

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I love you my dearest, I love you I love you with all my heart.  Occasionally, I take a break from the Internet by taking a so-called "week of isolation", by not going online from Friday to Friday unless I absolutely have to, and tomorrow begins my week of isolation.  I don't foresee any Qur'an that I have to blog, so I might actually take a week off from blogging.  It's not that I love you less, on the contrary I wish you were with me to share my isolation, but we're not married yet.  Or I might just go and blog anyway because I love you I love you so much.  I wish so much to be married to you.  I'm sure your spy network will confirm that I will be staying at home most of the time, and not doing anything bad like sluttin' around.  I think I'll clean up Floofy's cage in preparation to turn it into a kitchen.  I can't fix the roof or chop down that quinine tree, though.  But please don't be slighted that I don't post anything for a week.  I love you I love you so much, you are so beautiful.  I want to marry you and live happily ever after and Hereafter.  InshaAllah.

Letter to Julia 20140312

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Loving greetings, my beautiful Julia and Erin.  Oh, how I long to be with you, to be married to you.  I haven't much to report other than I love you, I love you.  I went to pay respects to Cikgu (which means "teacher") Pin, my neighbor, who passed away yesterday.  He was 78 years old.  His widow said he had no complaints other than his chronic back ache, he simply checked out suddenly and quietly.  A few years ago he lost all of his children in a car accident.  From Allah is our origin, and to Allah is our return.

Letter to Julia 20140309

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again, my beautiful Julia and Erin.  It's 5:30am right now as I type this letter.  I have to get up early today as I have some stuff to do, but it's too early for me.  Yawn.  Ouch.  Yesterday was more hectic than I anticipated, but I managed to hold my patience somewhat, mashaAllah.  It was my Dad's 77th birthday yesterday.  I gave him some squid jerky.  Oh, no!  Now the international squid market is flooded!  Everybody, deploy the submarines and hunt for Archeteuthis!  Want some birthday cake?  I pray that you are able to be patient as well, and that you are maintaining your prayers.  As you know, I've had to change my blogging habits, and my evenings have become busier.  Events have become very interesting, huh?  We should be together.  I'm sorry you have to lag behind, but that's the way God set it up.  So please be patient.  I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20140309

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

118.  If your Lord had so willed, God could have made humankind one people, but they will not cease to dispute.

119.  Except those on whom your Lord has bestowed God's Mercy, and for this did God create them, and the Word of your Lord shall be fulfilled, "I will fill hell with jinns and humans all together."

120.  All that We relate to you of the stories of the messengers, with it We make firm your heart.  In them there comes to you the Truth, as well as an exhortation, and a message to remember to those who believe.

121.  Say to those who do not believe, "Do whatever you can: we shall do our part!"

122.  And wait you, We/we too shall wait.

Hud 11:118-122
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Do whatever you can: we shall do our part!

Letter to Julia 20140308

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello my beloved Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling?  How are those precious emotions?  It has been a rather mundane day for me.  Just a bunch of cleaning house and yard for my parents.  My Mom gave me some spaghetti.  Mundane is actually romantic, provided you are here with me.  Planning meals, watching TV together, doing shopping, etc.  Kissing goodnight, saying "I love you."  Floofy was late coming home for closing time today.  She was hiding out at Casa de Julia inshaAllah.

So the both of you, please be patient, and maintain your prayers.  Do not follow the behavior and the path of those who have no faith.  Goodnight.  I love you.

Letter to Julia 20140306

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Julia, please allow me to say Happy Birthday to Erin.

Erin, my sweet, beautiful, precious dear heart.  I forgot your birthday on the 3rd.  I'm so sorry.  I'm such a moron, I'm just a stupid, senile old man.  Please forgive me.  This is so odd, because your birthday and my birthday is pretty much the same.  This is also so very odd, because I've been lookng for something appropriate to post for your birthday for quite some time already.  It's bad enough that I'm so dirt poor and not there with you.  Then yesterday I found something perfect, then I went home thinking, "Cool, I found the right thing for Erin's birthday."  Then I thought, "Oh shit, her birthday was 3 days ago!  Oh my God, she's so sensitive, I'm such an idiot! Oh my God, I'm in deep shit!"  Then I bought a sack of onions.

For what it's worth, please forgive me, and I promise with all my heart never to forget your birthday ever again inshaAllah.  I just have to remind myself, "My birthday is the same as her birthday."  I hope you like what I found for you.  I just tested Kalles Frakturer on my computer, and it's not dead yet.  It's a new program so inshaAllah, our computers will be OK.  Again, I'm so sorry.  I don't deserve someone as beautiful and wonderful like you.  Please, please, please forgive me.

Happy Birthday, my beloved Erin.  I love you, and I need you.  I want to marry you.

Letter to Julia 20140305

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

So can you see the connection of us, music, and food?  I didn't see it years ago in the kitchen of a pizza joint, it's probably because my feet hurt too much.  They still hurt.  I can see why you want to move the kitchen in my little house outside, and so be it.  Some food smell awful powerful when cooking.  Hey, some stuff smells strong when raw.  Durians are popular in the US now, but I hardly eat the stuff.  My Mom chugs copious amounts of that fruit, so it's probably her fault that it's so popular.  I love you, Mom!  Someone must pay my mother an endorsement fee.  Yeah, we'll move that kitchen outside by the time you get here inshaAllah, but like I said, that area needs work.  Just the burners: all storage should stay indoors.

I picked up some huge cuttlefish at the night market on Monday.  Big ones, about half a kilo each!  I fried the heads up with garlic and onions, and a lot of oil, then froze the rest.  I thought it might be too oily, but squid is mostly water so it balanced out nicely.  Plus the innards made a great sauce.  I also bought some mackerel for my sushi.  Yes, there are better fish, but did you know that sushi used to be considered poor man's food?  Think about it: mackerel, egg, rice, seaweed, spring onions.  I made a man's sized portion.  Hey, don't touch my sushi!  I'll make you your own portion.  I love you, I love you.

I went to wait for the butcher on Tuesday morning to pick up some tenderloin.  But the sirloin looked soooo good, I spent my money on that instead.  There was some lean meat in the chunk I got, but that's OK.  I'll use it for beef and potato curry for my morning bread.  In the end, I managed to get 4 man-sized sirloin steaks.  Hey, don't touch my steak!  I didn't know models ate steak.  I'll cook you your own steak.  A man and his food.  Oh God, I can't believe I've become so macho.  Ya Allah, thank You for the knowledge and the bounty that You've provided for me.

Letter to Julia 20140303

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beloved Julia and Erin.

I'm sitting here doing my taxes.  Yeah, I still have to file taxes even though I have a company income of zero.  Because Shadowplay is a legitimate business based in Malaysia, that specializes in music and global mass media.  More importantly, I seek to please Allah with music.  Therefore I must keep my business alive.  Who knows what Allah might do to global markets if I ceased to operate.  The banks might go kaboom!  I'm sorry you had to lag behind, but what to do?  I guess it's preordained, even if we were already married.

When we are married inshaAllah, you can file your taxes under me as my wife.  Of course this pertains to income you make after we marry.  Because the goal of our marriage is to slow down and stay put, you must understand and accept that we must stick together and avoid travel.  Make your business come to you.  No, I don't want to consume your hard earned money.  It's supposed to be my job to provide for you, so please make sure you keep your own bank accounts.  Again, I'm am trying to build a tourist attraction here and cannot travel, and you are my wife.  Any travel must be planned far in advance.

I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140301

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

My dearest beautiful Julia.  You are my slick beauty, so sophisticated and smooth.  You are truly a work of art, a sensual painting of love, my love.  I wish, and it is my dream to keep you beautiful to make sure you are loved and loved and loved.  To tenderly care for such a beautiful work of art, to make certain that you age gracefully and beautifully.  InshaAllah.  I love you Julia, I love you with all my heart.

Erin sweetheart, more than anyone else your emotions shape the way you look.  How do you feel, my love?  Do you feel beautiful?  I love you, my tender-hearted beauty, I want you to feel beautiful and to feel loved all the time.  You are so beautiful, you wonderful dear heart.  I want to embrace and cherish you, and keep you safe in my arms, and protect you.  InshaAllah.  Precious you, precious heart of gold.  I love you Erin, I love you with all my heart.